1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
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UNIX: It doesn't just give you rope to hang yourself with. It gives you the gallows, the hangman, and the jeering crowd.

          Jon Rust


Unless a man feels he has a good memory, he should never venture to lie.

          Montaigne


Until the principals had agreed that this that which they wanted to do, plus that it was agreed on by those involved, and then it was--present it to the President for decision.

          Larry Speakes


Upon presenting this ad with a US $50 purchase. You will receive our complimentary gift package consisting of: 3 hand embroidered handkerchiefs, 2 hand embroidered guests towels and one embroidered hot roll.

          Curaçao Gazette ad


USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

          David Letterman


Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

          Tom Robbins