1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes
Say what you will about the ten commandments; you must always come back to the
pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
H. L. Mencken
Scripture teaches us to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. All
too often, [we] are as wise as doves and as harmless as
serpents.
Moishe Rosen
Section 10--Slender Roll of Medicated Paper
It is a form of preparation made by twisting medicated paper into a
slender roll or by twisting paper into a slender roll and then medicating
it, so it is called "slender roll of medicated paper."
Prescriptions of Traditional Chinese Medicine
Send all the details. Never mind the facts.
telegram from the editor of the old New York World
Send more tourists . . . the last ones were delicious!
unknown
Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the farmer's
daughter.
Julius H. Comroe.
Serious studies by serious people with advanced degrees have shown that
computer games are cool.
Windows 95 ad
Shaq is not the man. He's the man because the NBA wants him to be the man,
but before you can be the man, you've got to be the man.
Dennis Rodman
[She] demonstrates normal logic--something she will abandon before she is
18 and will never experience again. Women's logic is one of those
contradictory terms, like military intelligence.
Flip Spiceland
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute
for wit.
W. Somerset Maugham
She [Monica Seles] has so much control of the racket with those double-handed
wrists.
Virginia Wade
She's colossal in a small way.
Samuel Goldwyn
Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you
know which half to believe.
Orben's Current Comedy
So long as any amount shall remain unpaid under this Note, the Borrower
covenants and promises to the Bank that the Borrower will not permit or
suffer to exist any of the following conditions: (a) death of the
Borrower.
American Security Bank loan agreement
So, rather than appear foolish afterward, I renounce seeming clever
now.
William of Baskerville, The Name of the Rose
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly
in the long run.
Mark Twain
Some of our friends are for it. Some of our friends are against it. And
we're standing by our friends.
Mike McCurry
Some people are so opposed to murder that they'll kill anyone who commits
it.
anti-capital punishment slogan
Some reporters said I don't have any vision. I don't see that.
George Bush
Son, all the beautiful, intelligent, healthy young women are taken. It's
a basic law of the universe, and if you don't like it, go somewhere else.
Ken Johnson's dad
Sow a seed on your MasterCard, your Visa or your American Express, and then
when you do, expect God to open the windows of heaven and pour you out a
blessing.
Richard Roberts
Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could
go straight upwards.
Fred Hoyle
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever
regret.
Ambrose Bierce
Stairs are useful in two-story houses.
the Washington Post
Strength is my biggest weakness.
Mark Snow
Stuffed egg-plant with minced crap.
Jade Garden menu, Sydney, Australia
Suck the miracle of Guangdong market through Guangdong Yellow
Pages.
southern China phone book
Suppose we reminisce a little about tomorrow's fight?
Vic Marsillo
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something
else anyway.
Othal Brand