1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to
smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
Mary Ellen Kelly
Never criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Then,
if he doesn't like it, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away and
you have his shoes.
unknown
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the
river.
Cordel Hull
Never siphon gasoline by mouth or put gasoline in your mouth for any reason . . . Never use gas to wash hands or as a cleaning solvent.
GEICO DIRECT magazine, fall 2003
Next up is Fernando Gonzalez, who isn't playing tonight.
Jerry Coleman
Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Foghorn Leghorn
No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach.
William Cowper
No matter how fast your computer system runs, you will eventually come
to think of it as slow.
traditional
No one buys a Big Mac for the simple reason of eating it. The behavior is
part of an entire gestalt in which the consumer participates on a
subliminal level. The purchase of a Big Mac involves a deep interior
perception of self, family, country and socio-economic
status.
Michael Steele
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while
you'll see why.
Mignon McLaughlin
No, you're not going to see me stay put . . . I'm not going to forsake my
responsibility. You may not see me put as much--I mean, un un-put as
much.
George Bush
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein.
Joe Theisman
Nobody will fly for a thousand years!
Wilbur Wright, 1901
Nobody's perfect. There was one guy--but we killed him.
anonymous
Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.
Duffy Daugherty
Nothing means nothing, but it isn't really nothing because nothing is
something that isn't.
Darryl Dawkins
Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples' habits.
Mark Twain
Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to
succeed.
Ronald Reagan