1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes

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Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from a cornfield.

          Dwight Eisenhower

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

          Oscar Wilde

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (718) 459-3140
If No Answer Call (718) 459-3140

          Nassau County NYNEX Telephone Directory (1991) Listing

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

          unknown

First Law of Midterms: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.

          unknown

Flattery and insults raise the same question: what do you want?

          Mason Cooley

Folding sheets is really a spiritual exercise. If you can fold fitted sheets, you can do anything.

          Rich Fuchs

For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.

          laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea)

For indoor or outdoor use only.

          Chinese-made Christmas lights

For purposes of paragraph (3), an organization described in paragraph (2) shall be deemed to include an organization described in section 501 (c)(4), (5) or (6) which would be described in paragraph (2) if it were an organization described in section 501(c)(3).

          section of the Internal Revenue Code

4:00--Speaker Dr. Gerrard Hale will speak about what Dyslexia is and how to recognize it and why you would find dyslexics assessets to your business.

          Adult Dyslexia organization convention program

French railway president quits after second fatal accident.

          Toronto Globe and Mail