1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes



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Eat cheese or die.

          suggested slogan for the Wisconsin license plate


Eating people is wrong.

          anonymous


Eight candidates, including all four incompetents, are seeking the four City Council positions.

          Cheney (Washington) Free Press


Emergency shelter for families: an emergency shelter which shelters families

          Columbus Coalition for the Homeless dictionary


Enjoy French odor in the South Pacific.

          ad sponsored by a French airline and the government of New Caledonia


Enjoying life is one of the few things that I really enjoy doing . . .

          Alex Heublein


Erected in the memory of
John Phillips
Accidentally shot
As a mark of affection by his brother.

          gravestone inscription


Even though there may be some misguided critics of what we're trying to do, I think we're on the wrong path.

          Ronald Reagan


Ever since we convinced our boss that a site on the Internet was a good idea, we have been under a certain amount of pressure to make that true.

          Kingswood Kranium


Every pint bottle should contain a quart.

          Sir Boyle Roche


Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

          H. G. Wells


Everything in this book may be wrong.

          Richard Bach, The Messiah's Handbook


Everything that can be invented has been invented.

          Charles Duell, U.S. Office of Patents Commissioner, 1899 (apocryphal)


Except for three big plays, we played well enough to win, if we had been able to do anything on offense.

          Bart Starr