1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes
Darling, you stink so beautiful.
Michael Curtiz
Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
sign displayed in a Japanese hotel
Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?
accused thief
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
anonymous
Do not look at me in that tone of voice.
Thaddeus Caraway
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.
unknown
Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give the signal.
Dwight Eisenhower
Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance
halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers,
uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads--they are not there
accidentally.
Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930s
Do you mean to tell me that the people of San Francisco are drinking water
after all the electricity has been taken out of it?
James McSheehy
Don't accept rides from strange men--and remember that all men are strange
as hell.
Robin Morgan
Don't pay any attention to the critics--don't even ignore
them.
Samuel Goldwyn
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any
good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
Howard Aiken
DOOR is an opening through which people enter and leave a room or
building.
The World Book Encyclopedia, 1985
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream
menu item from Shangri-la Restaurant
Drinking is the cause of psoriasis.
Donna Shalala
Drug Store Body. Let's get the Good Shape and have a sexy body just like a
pig.
slogan on a pair of Japanese overalls
Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side, a dark side, and it binds
the galaxy together.
anonymous
Dude, we are so out of here.
student after JAPN 202 final
Due to a typing error, Gov. Dukakis was incorrectly identified in the third
paragraph as Mike Tyson.
Fitchburg-Leominster (Mass.) Sentinel and Enterprise
During state of national emergency resulting from enemy attack, the essential
functions of the Service will be as follows: (1) assessing, collecting,
and recording taxes . . .
Internal Revenue Service Handbook, 1976