1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First
Funny Quotes
Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.
David Thompson
Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.
Yogi Berra
Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm
doing.
Wernher Von Braun
Basically, Doom is a (violent) 3D arcade game where you run around in a maze
and kill things with shotguns and chainsaws. . . . After you get tired of
killing things, you can run it over a network and kill things together
with your friends. After you get tired of that, you can kill your
friends.
the Doom FAQ
Be an optimist--at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape
Kennedy.
Current Comedy
Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
Scottish proverb
Beef: Good Fast Food from the Makers of Milk.
Jeff Schwartz
Before the Home Rule Bill is enforced, Asquith will have to walk over many
dead bodies--his own included.
letter from an Ulster Unionist
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued.
. . . Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on
January 1, 1976.
Illinois Department of Public Aid
Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg
without salt.
Rudyard Kipling
Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is.
Jerry Coleman
Besides, we don't make mistakes here, we just have happy
accidents.
Bob Ross, Joy of Painting
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so
will be prosecuted.
sign at a railroad station
Bill would exempt minors from death.
headline in the Goldsboro (N.C.) News Argus
Black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.
traditional Turkish description of good coffee
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Ambrose Bierce
Brooks Robinson is not a fast man, but his arms and legs move very
quickly.
Curt Gowdy
Bruce Sutter has been around for a while and he's pretty old.
He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he
is.
Ron Fairly
But getting drunk, and picking up bar ladies, and doing metaphysics are a
part of life.
R. M. Pirsig
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones
Japanese menu item
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to work
twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost