How much help should salespeople give? Like Goldilocks, they shouldn’t go for “too much” or “too little,” but “just right.”

Home Depot

Home Depot’s slogan is “You can do it. We can help.” That means it’s mostly for do-it-yourself types, with relatively little service.

And I didn’t need much service the other day, I just needed to find out where the furnace filters were. This is a really big place, and they could be anywhere.

As I was looking around, I came across someone who worked there. “Where are the furnace filters?” “Aisle 32.” Done. That was all I needed in that case.

Banana Republic

Banana Republic’s slogan appears to be “Suffocating the customer with unwanted attention.” They really do a good job of living up to that.

I had a 40% off coupon (go recession!), and I needed some pants. As soon as I walked in the door, I made sure to avoid eye contact with anyone. It didn’t work. (It never does.)

Someone came up to me and asked if I needed help. I said no. She told me her name in case I needed anything. Somehow I knew she’d be back whether I needed anything or not.

As I tried to remember what kinds of pants I already had and think about what I should get, she came back to ask if I needed any help. Yes, I needed her to help me by not talking to me when I was trying to think. I got her to leave, but not before she took my stuff and went to get a dressing room. Um, did I ask for one?

Then when I wanted a dressing room I couldn’t find her. I tracked her down and she gave me back my stuff, saying that I could come get her if I needed her opinion on how the pants looked. Oh good, because my goal was to impress this annoying person I’d never see again.

How much help to give?

There are two different strategies at work here. Home Depot employees wait for you to come to them, if you can find them. Banana Republic employees pounce on you and don’t take their fangs out until they ring you up. Home Depot doesn’t need to hire as many people, but Banana Republic makes sure customers buy everything they can.

What’s the right amount of help to give? I think it’s however much the customer wants. Maybe in some cases it makes sense to compensate salespeople based on the customer’s rating, instead of by how much they sell. It’s possible to sell a lot but also make people want to avoid you in the future.

Best Buy

I’ve got one more story. Not exactly on topic, but close enough.

When I went to Best Buy the other day to get a new laptop, I wanted to get some advice. No salespeople were available, so I just looked around. I overheard one employee talking about laptops, and I could tell he really knew what he was doing. I knew some Best Buy employees had the ability to turn sugar into sh**, so I decided I’d wait for this guy instead of looking for the first available person.

The people he was helping were really slow, having many concerns such as whether the laptop case made enough of a fashion statement. I got impatient, but at last he was swiping their credit card and about to finish up. Right then, another salesperson, a teenage girl, came up to me and asked if I needed anything.

I figured that since this was a major purchase, I’d rather just wait another minute for the guy who was knowledgeable, instead of taking my chances with this random person. (My old boss used to say “Just because you have a tie doesn’t mean you’re smart.” At Best Buy, the saying would be “Just because you have a blue shirt doesn’t mean you’re smart.” It also doesn’t mean they’re not smart. We just don’t know.)

So I said I didn’t need anything. The guy I was waiting for heard this and asked again to confirm that I didn’t need anything. I said I’d wait for him.

But when I thought he was finished, he started walking away to do something else for the slow customers. He asked if I had a quick question. I said I needed advice on laptops. He said “Actually, this guy over here knows more about laptops than I do.”

I was a little annoyed that I didn’t get him after all that, but whatever, another knowledgeable person would be fine. So I went up to the other guy, who asked “What did he say about me?” I said “That you know a lot about laptops.” He said “Yes, but I’m not on sales duty right now. Let me find somebody else to help you.”

So he started walking away, and after a few seconds I saw him walking up to the teenage girl I had turned away before. No, not her! She’s going to think I rejected her help because of age or sex discrimination!

I assume that’s what she thought, because she flipped out. From 50 feet away, I heard her shout “He told me he didn’t need any help!” I walked over there and said “I just said I’d wait for that guy because I overheard him talking about laptops, I could tell he was knowledgeable, and he was almost done with those people. If there’s someone else who knows a lot about laptops, that’s fine. Who would that be?”

It ended up being a different person, who was a perfect salesperson, knowing the answers to all my questions and telling me just what I needed to hear. This would fall between the Home Depot and Banana Republic cases, and it’s the best one from the customer’s perspective.

On another note, does Hallmark have any cards saying “Sorry about the age and sex discrimination misunderstanding?”