A Florida woman makes three 911 emergency calls to report that her local McDonald’s ran out of McNuggets. We call her “a frivolous waste of taxpayer money.”

A Washington man argues for a national boycott or lawsuit because Wendy’s charges 70 cents more to upgrade a double cheeseburger to a combo meal than to upgrade a fish sandwich to a combo meal. We call him “a loser with nothing better to do.”

A South Korean couple spends 10 hours a day at an internet cafe raising a virtual child, while their real baby starves to death at 5.5 pounds. We call them “criminally negligent.”

Yes, it’s very easy to judge them. But are these people really any different from us?

I know you want to say yes (I sure do), but what exactly makes them different from you? If you had been given the same genes and the same experiences, wouldn’t you have made the same decisions? If nature and nurture are the same, what else can be different?

Effort seems to be a big factor in how we judge others. We expect them to exercise discretion in matters we think they should be able to control, while giving them a pass on things they can’t help. Which of these judgments do you agree with?

• “It’s not his fault he’s epileptic; we can’t blame him for striking someone during a seizure.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s ugly; we can’t blame him for looking like that.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s weak; we can’t blame him for not being able to lift much weight.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s crabby; we can’t blame him for not smiling much.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s addicted to food; we can’t blame him for overeating.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s stupid; we can’t blame him for thinking you can take fireworks on a plane.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s lazy; we can’t blame him for sitting back and doing nothing.”
• “It’s not his fault he’s evil; we can’t blame him for being a serial killer.”

But who decides what we should be able to control? Maybe it’s naturally easy for one person to be friendly, another person to be honest, and another person to be brave. How much credit can you get for just doing what comes naturally?

Calvin (Hobbes’ six-year-old buddy) said that Santa’s naughty and nice list is unfair, because Santa doesn’t judge people on a curve. Susie likes performing good deeds, but Calvin hates them, so he has to work a lot harder. Shouldn’t one of his good deeds count as much as ten of hers?

Do you judge people by their house, their car, their clothes, their job, their looks, their intelligence, their personality, their friends, their family, or anything else? Of course you do. We all do. But why?

Photo by Sudhamshu

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.

Thus begins the classic 1980 computer game known as Zork I. The player is suddenly thrust into this world, and given little direction. The possibilities are endless, and it turns out that the narrator understands English fairly well.

It occurred to me that someone’s response in this situation could serve as a psychological test of sorts. Like an inkblot, there’s not really a right answer, but your choice could reveal factors such as motivation, temper, patience, initiative, persistence, creativity, assertiveness, etc.

Left to your own devices, what would you do if you found yourself standing west of a white house, next to a small mailbox? (The following are all valid commands and actual responses from the game.)

>look at house
The house is a beautiful colonial house which is painted white. It is clear that the owners must have been extremely wealthy.

>walk
What do you want to walk?

>walk me
You should supply a direction!

>walk to house
It’s here!

>find house
It’s right here! Are you blind or something?

>knock on door
Nobody’s home.

>enter house
I can’t see how to get in from here.

>kick door
Kicking the door has no effect.

>hit door
What do you want to hit the door with?

>hit door with hands
I’ve known strange people, but fighting a door?

>look at mailbox
The small mailbox is closed.

>clean mailbox
If you wish, but heaven only knows why.

>eat mailbox
I don’t think that the small mailbox would agree with you.

>drive mailbox
What a bizarre concept!

>kiss mailbox
I’d sooner kiss a pig.

>burn house
What do you want to burn the house with?

>inventory
You are empty-handed.

>burn house with hands
With a pair of hands??!?

>destroy house with mailbox
Trying to destroy the white house with a small mailbox is futile.

>destroy mailbox with house
Trying to destroy the small mailbox with a white house is futile.

>kill myself
What do you want to kill the myself with?

>kill myself with hands
Suicide is not the answer.

>kill troll
What do you want to kill the troll with?

>kill troll with hands
You can’t see any troll here!

>wait
Time passes…

>stand
You are already standing, I think.

>swim
Go jump in a lake!

>jump in a lake
You can’t see any lake here!

>jump
Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!

>jump
Are you enjoying yourself?

>jump
Do you expect me to applaud?

>jump
Very good. Now you can go to the second grade.

>talk
What do you want to talk to?

>talk to house
You can’t talk to the white house!

>talk to myself
Talking to yourself is said to be a sign of impending mental collapse.

>damn
Such language in a high-class establishment like this!

>eat myself
Auto-cannibalism is not the answer.

>pick up mailbox
It is securely anchored.

>pick up house
You can’t be serious.

>pick up house
A valiant attempt.

>what is
What do you want to what?

>what is love
I don’t know the word “love”.

>kick mailbox
Kicking the small mailbox isn’t notably helpful.

>touch mailbox
Fiddling with the small mailbox doesn’t seem to work.

>open mailbox
Opening the small mailbox reveals a leaflet.

>take leaflet
Taken.

>read leaflet
“WELCOME TO ZORK!

ZORK is a game of adventure, danger, and low cunning. In it you will explore some of the most amazing territory ever seen by mortals. No computer should be without one!”

>zork
At your service!

>xyzzy
A hollow voice says “Fool.”

>destroy leaflet
What do you want to destroy the leaflet with?

>destroy leaflet with hands
Trying to destroy the leaflet with a pair of hands is futile.

>drop
What do you want to drop?

>drop all except leaflet
It’s not clear what you’re referring to.

>drop myself
You don’t have the you.

>drop leaflet
Dropped.

>say “hello”
Hello.

>say “hello”
Good day.

>say “hello”
Goodbye.

>say “hello”
Nice weather we’re having.

>listen to myself
The you makes no sound.

>take myself
How romantic!

>win
Naturally!

>lose
Preposterous!

>mumble
You’ll have to speak up if you expect me to hear you!

>yell
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

>repent
It could very well be too late!

>find myself
You’re around here somewhere…

>count myself
You have lost your mind.

>look at myself
That’s difficult unless your eyes are prehensile.

>smell myself
It smells like a you.

>damn myself
Insults of this nature won’t help you.

>don’t
I don’t know the word “don’t”.

>say “goodbye”
Nothing happens.

>quit
Your score is 0 (total of 350 points), in 75 moves.
This gives you the rank of Beginner.
Do you wish to leave the game? (Y is affirmative?): >y
***END OF SESSION***

In season 3 of the reality show Beauty and the Geek, Mario and his partner were sent home because of this question:

“What is the term that refers to your date duplicating your body language or adopting your speaking rhythm?”

Mario answered “mimicking,” but the official answer was “mirroring.” I’m not sure that Mario’s answer was technically wrong, but mimicking usually refers to imitation for the purpose of making fun of someone, while mirroring is imitation for the purpose of building rapport.

A good example of mirroring is shown in this scene from Hot Shots!, where Charlie Sheen on his motorcycle mirrors Valeria Golino on her horse (until he can’t keep up).

Mirroring can be done in many ways, because there are so many aspects to our behavior. You might see that someone is leaning against a wall, with their hands in their pockets, looking relaxed, speaking slowly and softly, and sometimes glancing at the floor. You can pick any of these behaviors to mirror.

To some extent, you naturally mirror people you like. If you think about it, you’ll probably see that you act slightly differently depending on who you’re talking to, because it just seems right to blend in a little. People also mirror because they look to others to determine acceptable behavior. Some people say the best way to silence a drunk is to speak softly, which encourages them to do the same.

People like being mirrored because they like people who are similar to them, even if they’re not aware of it. They might not realize that you’re mirroring them, but they’ll have a good feeling about you. You might even be able to pick up on their feelings by copying their movements. And keep an eye out for when someone is mirroring you, because it means they like you.

Obviously, you don’t want to overdo it. If you match someone’s movements perfectly, imitate their accent, and parrot back everything they say, they’ll think you’re making fun of them. Then they’ll ask “Why are you doing that?” and you’ll repeat “Why are you doing that?” They’ll say “Stop that!” so you’ll say “Stop that!” and they’ll think you’re in third grade.

Have you ever tried mirroring someone deliberately?