Do you remember what your life was supposed to be like? Most of us once had a certain destination in mind, and we were all set to go there. But something went wrong. Despite our carefully arranged plans, we ended up someplace else.

At first we’re very disappointed to end up in the wrong place. This isn’t the life we wanted. We might even call it a tragedy. After some time though, we start getting used to it.

We’re not sure whether this is a good place or a bad place, but it’s certainly interesting. Maybe it’s best to withhold judgment. And since this is where we’re going to be for a while, we might as well make ourselves at home, and take a look around.
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We find ourselves surrounded by people of all different backgrounds. We wouldn’t necessarily have chosen to be with these people, and we might think we have nothing in common with some of them. But when we learn their story, we probably find that we can actually relate to them. Eventually, we may realize that we need each other.

There were things that we were so desperate to get back to, but now we can’t really remember why. Maybe we weren’t really supposed to be where we thought we were. Having left some parts of us behind, the past no longer matters. And looking ahead to the future is largely pointless, because there’s no way to predict it. All that matters are the experiences we have today.

A bunch of irrelevant crap will happen, sometimes for weeks at a time. We’ll often wonder, “What the hell does this have to do with advancing the plot?” Some of it will become significant later. Some of it won’t. What we think are our most important questions may never be answered, and we’ll get answers to questions no one asked. But the world wasn’t designed to answer your questions, and we can’t expect to be guided on a straight path from start to finish.

Bad things will happen to good people, and good things will happen to bad people. We’ll even lose track of who the good guys and bad guys are. We’re not sure what we’re supposed to do, what’s right and wrong, or even whether it matters. Are black and white really opposites?

We don’t really know what our part to play is. Are you supposed to learn to forgive yourself or others? Repair a relationship? Become a leader? Protect something? Get off drugs and act like a father? Stop torturing people? Kidnap people on a list? Shoot a polar bear? Set off a nuke? Push a button every 108 minutes? Study electromagnetism? Determine what happens to dynamite in 90+ degree heat? Turn into a smoke monster?

There’s really no one here to tell you what to do. And if someone is, you might not want to listen.

Many times, we’ll wonder whether this is all a test, whether our life has a purpose. Do we have free will? Do you believe in destiny? Are we here for a reason? You’ll probably be wondering right up until the very end, but you’ll never really know. Even after it’s over, everyone will still disagree about what it all means.

So, what then? Is life a hopeless chaotic jumble of teleporting islands, four-toed statues, doomsday numbers, mistranslated tattoos, sonic fences, magic boxes, invisible horses, fake beards, light and water wheels, and so on? Or is there a grand purpose to it all? I couldn’t tell you. But regardless, what can you do, other than making the most of each episode?

Here’s an old post that I’ve had sitting around unpublished for two years. With the 24 premiere tonight, it seemed like a good time to put it out there.

First Blood, the first of the Rambo movies, is about a troubled Vietnam war hero trying to get readjusted to life in America. He’s just learned that the only other survivor from his unit has died from cancer due to Agent Orange exposure, but he gets no sympathy from a sheriff who doesn’t like drifters. What lessons might we take away from this?

1. Don’t be too quick to judge people.

Sheriff Teasle makes it clear that his town doesn’t want people like Rambo because of the way he looks. He didn’t consider that Rambo might have issues that for now are more important than getting a haircut or cleaning his jacket. All the ensuing conflict would have been avoided if Teasle hadn’t decided to make an enemy for no good reason. As Rambo said, “All I wanted was something to eat.”

2. Sometimes what you say is less important than how you say it.

Rambo defends his actions by saying “They drew first blood, not me.” Of course, this is just a tough guy way of saying “But Colonel, they started it!”

3. Know when you’re outmatched.

Colonel Trautman’s advice to Teasle was that instead of sending a bunch of poorly trained cops into the woods against an expert in guerrilla warfare, they should just let him go and arrest him later when no one would get hurt. Teasle repeatedly ignores this, always thinking that somehow his next attempt would be different.

4. When you get caught up in something, it’s easy to lose perspective.

Although something may make perfect sense to people right in the middle of it, sometimes an outside observer can see how ridiculous it is. Like how Colonel Trautman sums up Rambo’s crime: “Vagrancy, wasn’t it? That’s gonna look real good on his gravestone in Arlington: Here lies John Rambo, winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor, survivor of countless incursions behind enemy lines. Killed for vagrancy in Jerkwater, USA.”

5. Some job skills don’t transfer well.

Rambo found that his extensive training was useless when he came back from Vietnam, and he wasn’t able to find something else he could do nearly as well. He said: “Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment. Back here I can’t even hold a job parking cars!” A tough problem, but maybe the solution is to become a Career Renegade.

6. Sometimes it’s best to just let it go.

Sheriff Teasle refused to give up on his maniacal desire to catch Rambo, who had never done anything wrong in the first place. This resulted in the accidental death of one cop, many injuries, and major property damage. Still, he refused to back off, even when he acknowledged that it could cost him his life. These are the times when you need to walk away (and solve the problem in a better way).

7. War is bad.

Of course we know this, but usually just as statistics in the news. It’s very different when you actually see the results. You have to feel sorry for people who consider themselves lucky to survive with post-traumatic stress disorder.

8. Sometimes the movie is better than the book.

For some reason there’s a widespread assumption that the book has to be better than the movie. I don’t think that’s always true, and here’s a good example. The book was much more violent and portrayed Rambo as a psychotic killer. In the movie, Rambo was a sympathetic character who went on to become Ronald Reagan’s hero.

9. Be prepared to seize opportunities.

After Kirk Douglas gave up the role of Colonel Trautman over a script dispute, Richard Crenna stepped in after filming had already begun. Although he had already been in 28 movies, this would become his most famous role. You never know when your big break will come, so you have to keep your eyes open.

I’ve never been much of a Star Trek fan, but I went to see it because everyone seems to like it. Yes, it’s good. And in addition to being good sci-fi, it also carries some important life lessons. (Contains spoilers.)

1. Being different isn’t a bad thing.

The young Spock, being half human and half Vulcan, is a child of two worlds, and doesn’t appear to belong in either one. He’s not accepted by the other kids, and even adults speak of his heritage as a disadvantage. In time though, he makes his own path, finding a huge asset in the combination of Vulcan logic and human emotion.

Do you ever assume that being different is a bad thing?

2. Find a balance between the extremes.

At first, Kirk overindulges his reckless nature with nearly disastrous results, while Spock completely shuts off his emotions and follows the rules to a life he doesn’t want. Eventually, they settle on more moderate personalities. Not exactly in the middle, but at a point where they can avoid most of the consequences of the extremes while still being themselves.

Do you have a tendency to be too extreme in any aspect of your personality?

3. Anyone can be worth listening to.

As the fleet responded to a Vulcan distress call, Kirk connected the dots and realized it was a trap. He tried to warn the crew, who wouldn’t even hear him out at first. After all, he had been suspended, and he was regarded as a loose cannon. Still, he was the only one who knew all the relevant information, and because the crew finally decided to listen, they were prepared for the trap.

Do you ever ignore potentially good advice because of your personal bias?

4. Anyone can make a difference.

George Kirk was captain of the U.S.S. Kelvin for only 12 minutes. But he spent those 12 minutes evacuating the crew and sacrificing himself to save 800 lives.

Are you capable of doing more than you give yourself credit for?

5. Revenge is a dish best not served at all.

The saying “revenge is a dish best served cold” is said to be a Klingon proverb. It means that revenge is more likely to succeed when carefully planned out (cold-blooded) as opposed to being hasty and emotional (hot-blooded).

That might be true, but why not skip revenge altogether? It rarely works out to your benefit. Did Captain Nero really need to sit around doing nothing for 20 years, waiting for Spock to emerge from the black hole? That’s a long time to stay mad at someone, especially someone who didn’t intentionally do anything wrong.

Are there any grudges you can drop today?

6. Don’t play with red matter.

Red matter is a substance that ignites to create a black hole. Spock used it to contain a supernova that would have destroyed the galaxy, so this is dangerous stuff. Apparently, Nero forgot that part when he fired on Spock’s ship. Metaphorically, playing with red matter is doing something that can potentially work, but isn’t worth the risk.

Do you ever try to succeed at any cost, regardless of the consequences?

7. Extreme situations call for extreme measures.

When the Enterprise’s engines weren’t powerful enough to escape from the black hole’s gravitational field, Kirk went with Scotty’s idea of ejecting the warp drive reactor cores and exploding them to propel the ship forward. It was a risk – they could have blown themselves up, or the explosion could have done nothing but destroy their warp capability. But since full speed ahead wasn’t enough, they had to try something.

Have you ever ruled out a risky but feasible option, while clinging to something that wasn’t working?

8. There’s no such thing as a no-win scenario.

Kirk took a test that was designed to be a no-win scenario. It’s a simulation in which no matter what you do, your ship is destroyed. The point of the test is to judge your response to the fear of certain death.

On his third attempt, Kirk beat the no-win scenario by altering the simulator’s programming. He was accused of cheating and missing the whole point of the test, to which he responded that he doesn’t believe in the no-win scenario.

The no-win scenario really doesn’t exist, although you may have to reconsider your definition of “winning.”

Are you facing any scenarios you consider to be “no-win?” Are you sure that’s an accurate perception?

(Randy Pausch, a life-long Star Trek fan, received an autographed picture of William Shatner, on which Shatner wrote “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” Randy makes a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo appearance early in the movie as a crew member on the Kelvin, with the line “Captain, we have a visual.”)

Image from Scarface (1983)

1. The world doesn’t really care where you came from.

Don’t think that you need to have a certain background to make it to the top. If you’re lucky enough to be born in a free country, or you’re able to make it to one, you have a shot. You can be a political refugee with an accent, a scar, no money, no skills, and no connections, but you’re free to decide at any point to not let it hold you back.

2. The world can be yours…

Using nothing but street smarts and determination, Tony Montana achieved his vision of the American Dream. He had money, power, respect…everything he always wanted.

3. …but it comes at a price.

On the other hand, he was lucky to even survive long enough to get to that point, and it ended up costing him everything. Before you pursue something, know what the price is, and decide whether you’re willing to pay it. And don’t envy someone until you know what they’ve been through to get to where there are.

4. Don’t underestimate the other guy’s greed.

This was lesson number one from Frank Lopez, and Tony ignored it. If you’re standing in the way of someone who will stop at nothing in their fanatical pursuit of power, you might want to watch out for them.

5. Don’t get high on your own supply.

This was lesson number two from Frank Lopez, and Tony ignored it as well. Of course, literally staying off drugs is always a good idea (as well as moderating your consumption of alcohol and caffeine). But beyond that, you don’t want to get so absorbed in what you’re doing that you forget who you are.

6. The guys that last are the guys who fly straight. Low-key, quiet. But the guys who want it all, chicas, champagne, flash…they don’t last.

(You know, if Tony listened to Frank once in a while, things would have turned out very differently.) Don’t obsess about the pie in the sky. Stay focused and don’t get greedy, and you’ll win in the long run.

7. When you get involved with the wrong people, sometimes no decision is the right one.

Tony sealed his doom when he refused to carry out a hit after the target’s wife and two kids unexpectedly got in the car. He had to choose between sacrificing three innocent people and sacrificing himself. This is why you don’t want to work with people whose values are different from yours. There will be a conflict of interests at some point, and possibly no way out.

8. All you have in this world is your balls and your word—don’t break them for anyone.

This isn’t literally true—you have much more than that—but the point is to live by your own code of ethics. If a criminal can do it, then we certainly can too.

9. Every day above ground is a good day.

Be gracious for what you have. Very often we take things for granted until they’re gone.

10. Don’t kill your best friend for no reason.

Kind of an obvious lesson, but important nonetheless. Relationships that take years to build can take an instant to destroy, so don’t act hastily.

11. When people want to play rough, you can either say “I give up” or “Say hello to my little friend!”

Everyone faces seemingly unwinnable showdowns at some point. Sometimes surrender is the best option, and sometimes it isn’t. But if you’re going to make a stand, then really do it.

12. Be careful when naming something after something else.

Oliver Stone named Tony Montana after his favorite football player, Joe Montana. The problem is that giving him a non-Cuban name destroys the illusion of the movie. He might as well have called him Tony Navratilova or Tony Abdul-Jabbar. Other people might not have the same attachment to your creation’s namesake that you do. Keep this in mind before calling your company something like Joe Montana Software, because all that matters is what other people think of it.

13. If the rose smells sweet enough, someone will be willing to snip off the thorns.

Editing Scarface for network TV presented some serious challenges, most notably finding someone willing to dub out 226 f-words. But someone decided it was worth doing, and got it done.

14. Have a contingency plan.

In the final shootout, Al Pacino badly burned his hand by grabbing his gun by the barrel, and had to sit out for a few weeks. Fortunately, they were able to use this time somewhat productively by shooting a lot of footage of the other people in this scene. It could have been a lot worse. You want to identify your high-risk areas, do what you can to mitigate the risk, and know what you’ll do if things fall through.

Rated R for brief cocaine-fueled maniacal machine gun / grenade launcher violence.

Related reading: The Criminally-Minded Approach for Achieving Goals by Al at 7P. Al reminded me that I had this draft post sitting around collecting dust since January. Apparently I wrote a list post! Who’da thunk it?