You know how sometimes you come across a website that’s offering a freebie you want, but they ask for your email address, so you change your mind? Mailinator is a wonderful tool for those situations.

Anytime you need a throwaway email address that you’re only going to use once, Mailinator can provide one. That saves you from having to opt in to a list, when you just want to get the free download.

It’s very easy to use. Go to mailinator.com. You can make up any email address you want, but I just use a random one. On the left side below “Can’t think up an address,” they’ll have a link to a random address. Right now it says jrcvdgesgazwa@mailinator.com. Click that link and it takes you to the inbox for jrcvdgesgazwa@mailinator.com. The account is automatically created, and you don’t need to sign up for anything.

Now, when you want to download a free report and you need to give them an email address, you just give them jrcvdgesgazwa@mailinator.com. Then when you refresh the Mailinator page, you’ll see you have an email with a link to your free report. Meanwhile, your real email address remains free of spam. jrcvdgesgazwa@mailinator.com might get spam, but it doesn’t matter because you’ll never use that address again.

But you only need this when dealing with a potential spammer!

Mailinator is very useful when you don’t know who you’re dealing with, and you don’t know what they’ll use your email address for. But there are plenty of legitimate email lists out there that don’t spam you. They may offer a free report as a sweetener, but the list itself delivers value, not just sales pitches.

I tend to trust real people a lot more than faceless companies. If you know a person, and they’re offering a free ebook, in exchange for your email address, and they tell you what they’re going to email you, that’s probably fine. I’d be likely to opt in, if I know this person and I like their work.

Many people with legitimate mailing lists use AWeber, which has a very strict anti-spam policy and guarantees that you can opt out at any time. I’m never afraid to give my real email address to AWeber, and that’s what I use for my own newsletter. Besides, AWeber is smart enough to know about Mailinator, so they won’t let you use mailinator.com addresses.

To see if a mailing list is run through AWeber, just click the submit button without entering your name or email address. You’ll get an error of course, but you can see if it’s an AWeber error. If so, you can click the back button and enter your info. I’m sure there are other services with strict anti-spam policies, but I don’t know who they are.

Mailinator will set you free! Go forth and download free reports with reckless abandon!

If you’re reading this post directly on my blog (as opposed to in your email or in your RSS reader), you should have seen a pop-up announcing my email newsletter. You’ll see that pop-up only once, at least in theory (if it ever pops up again, the Escape key will close it), but you can always find the newsletter sign-up on my contact page.

Many of you receive my blog posts via email, but my newsletter is completely separate from that. My newsletter is for the group of super cool people who want to be part of my inner circle.

I’ve been on a number of different email newsletters, and I’ve seen firsthand what annoys me as a subscriber. So before I had a newsletter of my own, I wanted to come up with a better way of doing it. I definitely didn’t want to piss people off with my emails. (Though I did break one of my own rules with the subject of this post!)

Everyone says that all internet marketers need to have a newsletter. But I kept putting it off, because I hadn’t really seen a good role model among the lists I was on. The emails were just one sales pitch after another, or there were way too many emails, or they just weren’t interesting.

But I recently got some inspiration from a couple of good email lists.

Naomi Dunford and her discounts

When Naomi at IttyBiz released SEO School, she wrote a post about it that included a discount code meant for her regular readers. Later, when she released it to the general public, a bunch of people who don’t even read her blog just did a Google search for “SEO School discount code.” People who didn’t know who she was got the discount that was only meant for her fans!

To fix this the next time around, she started an email list. The idea was that whenever she came out with a new product, she’d tell her fans about it first, and let them buy it at a discount. That’s it. No regular emails, just discounts.

I thought this was a good idea because it gave a clear incentive to subscribe, and no one could honestly think they were being spammed (free money, duh). But I wasn’t sure that just doing discount emails would work for me.

If someone joined my list, and then I didn’t email them for a long time, they might wonder “Where the heck are my emails?” And then when I finally came out with a product six months down the road and sent an email, people might have forgotten about me by then. And then they’d wonder, “Who are you, and how did you get my email address? I don’t remember signing up for anything!” Still, this idea had potential for me.

Michael Martine keeping it short and sweet

My other inspiration came from Michael Martine at Remarkablogger. First he had Remarkablogger the blog, then he came out with his Remarkanotes newsletter. (Next he’ll probably come out with his Remarkaclothing line, or the Remarkafragrance for men.)

Michael sends out emails about once a week, so his subscribers don’t forget about him. But his emails are really short and interesting, so it’s more like getting emails from a friend than reading big long dissertations. His list is great for people who want a little something extra, but are short on time.

My newsletter for super cool people

I decided to combine these concepts in my own newsletter.

If you want to be in my inner circle, just sign up below. When I release a new product, you’ll be told ahead of time, and you’ll get a chance to buy it at a discount. (This also helps if you want to be an affiliate, so you can have a head start on writing a review.) I have a new ebook that will be announced to my newsletter subscribers soon, hopefully within a week, so this would be a good time to join my newsletter.

Aside from the discounts, you also get an email whenever I come across something motivational, interesting, helpful, etc. For example, the videos about Nick Vujicic and The Tea-Loving Caterpillars.

I sometimes write long blog posts, but my newsletter emails will be short. And they’ll be infrequent too, probably somewhere between once a month and once a week. Many of us who spend a few hours a day reading blogs sometimes forget that some people don’t want to spend much time on the internet.

And of course, your email won’t be used for any other purpose, you can unsubscribe at any time, and all that good stuff. So, if you want discounts and cool stuff, sign up for my newsletter!

(The form below might not work from your email or RSS reader, so you’ll have to sign up directly on the page. And you can always sign up on my contact page.)

Photo by notoriousxl

1. Email the wrong people.

Use the element of surprise. You always want people to wonder “who is this person, and why are they emailing me?” It’s a good idea to email everyone in your address book, since you’re bound to have lots of people in there who barely remember you. If you have an opt-in mailing list, at least make sure your email is irrelevant to the topic of your list.

2. Send emails way too often.

Every second that goes by without sending an email is a missed opportunity that can never be recovered. Since Americans receive 5,000 marketing messages a day, you need to stand out by making sure that at least half of them are yours.

3. Use vague, tacky subject lines.

If your subject reveals how lame your email is, people might not want to read it. Be sure your subjects make it impossible for people to ignore your emails. Some examples:

• Want to know what cool thing I’m doing right now?
• Do you know this great secret of life?
• Exclusive opportunity – act now!
• DON’T read this if you’re not ready to be amazed!
• Are you too stupid to read this email?

4. Start off with a ridiculously flashy intro.

People will be bored by an email sent under normal conditions. You need to be clear that you’re in the middle of something exciting. For example:

“I’m sending this email from my Blackberry while riding my jet ski over what I think might be the lost city of Atlantis. I’ll have to go in for a closer look, but first I wanted to quickly let you know about a new program I’m offering…”

5. Emphasize the effortless riches.

Dollar amounts keep going up, so you need bigger numbers to impress people. And people are lazier than ever, so you can’t let them think that effort might be required.

Try something like “Make MOUNTAINS OF MONEY overnight with ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT. This is a FULLY AUTOMATED SYSTEM and it can be run WITHOUT EVER GETTING OUT OF BED OR EVEN BEING ALIVE. Don’t ask why we need you if that’s the case, just enjoy THE INSTANT INFUSION OF MEGACASH!”

6. Use specific numbers, while being as vague as possible.

Specific numbers lend credibility, but any particular number might not be big enough. Whatever number they like, you want them to think it’s possible. So stretch out the range as far as you can. For example:

“You do not need to do anything at all to make a minimum of $10,000 a month! If you do well, you could make up to $30,000 a month OR MORE! Some people make up to $100,000 a month PLUS $50,000 a month. OR MORE!”

7. Use excessive formatting.

Plain text is boring. People see it all the time and they just TUNE IT OUT. Make sure ^none of your words are _overlooked.

8. Question whether the recipient is “serious.”

I don’t know what serious really means, but apparently people want to make sure that everyone who reads their emails is serious. Use phrases like “This email is for SERIOUS people only,” “I’m putting together a program just for SERIOUS people,” and “If you’re not SERIOUS, then maybe this isn’t for you.” WHY SO SERIOUS?

9. Call everything a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Some people say that a once in a lifetime opportunity only comes by once in a lifetime, but those people apparently haven’t heard of HYPERBOLE or LYING. Every opportunity needs to be more “once in a lifetime” than the one before it. Of course, it will also be complete crap compared to the next one.

10. Emphasize that it’s totally free, then tell them the cost.

“Free” is such a relative term. Are people in a capitalistic society free? Is there such a thing as a free lunch? Is freedom free? Who knows, but people like the word, so be sure to use it. Any costs can be written off as an “application fee” or “shipping and handling” without jeopardizing the “free” status.

11. Put no useful information in your email.

If you let the cat out of the bag, what will you talk about next time? Always keep people waiting. The purpose of every email is to build anticipation for something that will never come. If it never gets there, then they can never unsubscribe, right?

P.S. Always have a P.S. if you want to look professional. Never mind that a P.S. is meant to be used when you forget to include something in a handwritten letter (since it can’t be edited, unlike an email). This is another good chance to reiterate your main points. For example:

P.S. If you’re serious, you need to act on this once in a lifetime opportunity right now! I started just 2 days ago, and I’ve already made up to $5,000 (or more) in completely passive income!

Here’s a screenshot of Gmail’s spam filter protecting me from yet another highly targeted, benefit-driven email that tugs at my heartstrings. Yes, that was sarcasm. For God’s sake, it’s in Russian.

15 years ago, people were thrilled to get an email advertising a credit card offer. It was such a pleasure to have anything at all in their inbox. Today, things are very different. It’s a lot harder to get people to read your email because we get so much of it.

What’s so perplexing about spammers is that they haven’t updated their email copywriting. They’re really not trying at all.

While I hate spammers and want to see them all fined and thrown in jail, their work does provide some rather obvious lessons for people who want to write emails that aren’t seen as spam.

Let’s look at some of the spam I’ve received, and see how it could be improved.

Wrong language

In the picture above, the problem is that the email is in Russian (or something like that). Since I can’t read Russian, it wasn’t effective. Isn’t that obvious? Even if they don’t know what country I live in, English is a much better guess.

Typos

One email has this subject:

“1000 singleladies from Russia are online now, have ineterst?”

The first thing I notice is the obvious typos and bad grammar. Anyone who would write a subject like this is either extremely sloppy or just not smart. I instantly think “spam” when I see something like this.

Suspicious offers

One email reads:

“I am a pretty woman, and I wish to become a pen pal (by email or Skype) of a handsome and clever guy, interested in further real dates!

I have registered my profile at: http://s-best-toprussgirl.biz?idAff=5″

This seems really suspicious. If you don’t know who this person is, you have to assume it’s a mass mailing. And it doesn’t seem likely that someone would try to find dates with a mass mailing, especially when they don’t even mention their location. Also notice that the URL contains an affiliate ID, which doesn’t make sense unless they’re trying to sell something.

Non-compelling copy

One email simply says:

“New products everyday at our chemists.”

That’s not enough to get someone interested. No one is looking for random new drugs. What drugs do they actually have? Be specific.

No content, only unsubscribe info

One email contains no content at all, just information on how to unsubscribe:

“Unsubscribe | Manage Subscriptions | Privacy Policy

To stop ALL email from ABCNews Newsletters, click here to remove yourself from our lists.

This email was sent by: ABCNews, 7 WEST 66th Street, New York, NY 10023.”

With no content, what is the point of the email? They’re actually doing something right in that they’re giving you a clear call to action. They want you to click the unsubscribe link so they can confirm that your email address is valid, and then sell it to more spammers. I’m sure that ABCNews would not send emails with no content, so it reeks of spam.

Nonsensical content

One email says:

“You are doing too much of sport, support your organism.”

Emails that don’t make sense are a clear sign of spam.

Emails from a name you recognize, but it’s not really them

I got one email from “Cummuta Debt to Wealth.” They’re taking advantage of all the Jon Cummuta debt-elimination ads I hear on the radio. You get this email and think, “Oh, I know him.” But you need to ask, “How does he know me?” If he doesn’t, it must be spam.

Comment spam

When you look at blog comment spam, it gets even worse than the emails.

Comment spammers have a strong incentive to leave decent comments. A blog’s spam filter will catch pretty much all the spam, so it won’t be seen by anyone other than the blog owner, as they check their spam queue for anything that was caught by mistake. But if a comment is just good enough to be approved, it becomes visible to lots of people. Despite this incentive, comment spammers do a much worse job than email spammers.

Here is a typical piece of comment spam:

“cx10neun25ii2pjyt
jnfcaabh rjirbzx

http://ebeslxo.com

rgvgtmjp lluld

http://kwgianogj.com

fypekbj nueyidrnf

http://bckfosvbz.com

taqggjn nxcmo
http://swrobez.com”

What about this comment is going to prompt the blog owner to approve it? Does it add value to the discussion?

Here’s another one:

“J1UT33 wmoalzbwbmai, [url=http://khpnygfptcqxu.com/]khpnygfpcqxu[/url], [link=http://xymooxdncmbly.com/]xymooxncmbly[/link], http://zcxbvevjjvwzt.com/”

Again, why is the blog owner supposed to want to approve this? No one is going to let something like this through.

The next one is better:

“These same was depicted spironolactone story about norvasc heating. Covenant was onspicuous case atrovent stood motionless keflex was pondering pepcid rrangement. That devilish guard during temovate these images fioricet the lock keppra anemic.

Nikolaevna dropped the poker ortho any learning tussionex reared.

Peering more flying just cardura bed went plavix sorceries and aldara visitors. Your interlocut evidently from fluoxetine and merely sumatriptan fellow. What happened him such steroids soon discovered adderall the. Cole cried lost the naproxen objected the evoxac bookworm. Roman authority fearing barman depakote some pot amoxicillin lairs. March possessed everybody gasped sibutramine erlioz before loratadine ith whom bactroban beholder. Knowing that theatre with didrex though according accupril had fed allegra terrace. Things remain cut out phenergan complained confidenti naltrexone countries. Morris resumed ollonovich from suprax paper began motrin officers. Oliver paced foist the roxicet drove off coumadin with grief doxazosin unequally. Sowship himself appeared from hydrochlorothiazide the braggart accupril soldier with esomeprazole caused. Bower built her acquaintan nasacort storming the renova the decor buspirone typescript.”

This one at least contains real words, but they’re in a random order. No one would approve this comment.

Scrapers

Scrapers are people who steal other people’s content and post it on their own blog. It’s a lot easier for them to put up content when they don’t actually have to write it. The problem is that it violates copyright law.

Some scrapers will take just a short excerpt of a post, claiming that it falls under the definition of “fair use.” That’s what happened in this trackback I received:

“Why The Financial Crisis Will Be Harmless, Until It Kills Us All : $700 Billion Bailout Plan | the700billionbailoutplan.org/why-the-financial-crisis-will-be-harmless-until-it-kills-us-all | IP: 67.225.196.41

[...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]

KelOmar | kelomar@noxhnou.com | google.com | IP: 82.208.48.225″

They posted an excerpt of my post and linked to it. They linked to it both because they think that makes it OK to steal, and because they wanted their trackback to appear on my blog. It might be hard to get them to take the post down, but it’s easy enough to delete the trackback so they don’t get traffic from my blog.

Made up news

One person left this comment:

“OMG. Did you hear? Russia attacks USA…
More info here: hotusanewxy.blogspot.com”

After I ran down to my bomb shelter, I discovered that the news was not true. You might get some curiosity clicks this way, but people don’t like being lied to.

URL points to a page with no content

On my Automatic Blog Post Rehasher post, someone left this comment:

“For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.”

OK, that’s clever. They could have said a bit more, but that comment is good enough. But it went straight to my spam queue, most likely because other people reported them for spamming. When I checked their URL, I saw that it went to a page with no content. If it had gone to a decent page, the comment would have been OK.

The same person left this comment on my Todoodlist post:

“Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.”

A halfway decent comment, but I couldn’t approve it because of their URL.

Comment on an unrelated post

Someone left this comment:

“Many times you’ve been thinking that you don’t like any of T-Mobile phones.Or probably you travel abroad a lot? And met difficulties trying to use your phone overseas?

From now and forever you can use your phone in all networks an with all operators. Just buy an unlocked cell phone and enjoy the freedom of communication and use the newest cell phones”

This comment is too much of a sales pitch, but the real problem is that it was left on a post that had nothing to do with cell phones (it was about bloggers having their ducks in a row). If it had been left on a relevant post, it would have had a much better chance (though I still would have deleted it).

One-liners

Someone left a comment saying:

“Its Good to read what you have to say.”

Sorry, that’s not enough of a comment. You’ll have to promote your Australian hypnosis business on another blog.

Very short comments can be OK, but they should be a little more specific, and preferably from someone you know not to be a spammer.

Vague compliments

The Australian hypnosis commenter also left this comment about the tea-loving caterpillars:

“This post has helped break my creativity with a project i\’m working on, thanks.”

Close, but no cigar. It was just a bit too obvious that they hadn’t read the post, plus I remembered them from the previous spam comment.

An important anti-spam tip

If you get an email that might be spam, don’t click the links. But if you must click them, at least check them first. One common spam technique is to include a link that doesn’t point to where it appears to, like this:

http://www.google.com

You see that link and think it’s OK to click it, but it could take you to another site that does bad stuff to your computer. What you want to do is hover your mouse pointer over the link. In most browsers, the actual URL will appear in the lower left corner of the browser window. If the real URL doesn’t match the URL displayed, don’t click the link.

Who writes spam anyway?

I just don’t get spammers. Don’t they know how easy it would be to make their spam look legitimate? They’re really going out of their way to do a bad job. I guess that’s a good thing, because it makes it easier for spam filters to catch them. But it seems like there would be a huge opportunity for decent spam copywriters…