We were warned. 2012 is in sight. And mesothelioma will never be the same again.

After a brief but furious sprint of pounding out words that seemed to come from the heavens, followed by a virtual eternity of painstaking proofreading and editing, my first novel is now available on Amazon.com.

Named after the town that holds the key to the 2012 mystery, the novel is called Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York: The Truth About 2012. It can loosely be described as a cross between The Da Vinci Code, 24, and Wayne’s World.

To make things interesting, I’d like to offer a prize to the first person to find and decipher the Easter eggs. An “Easter egg” in a book, movie, game, etc. is a hidden message, inside joke, or feature. For example, a hidden track on a CD, or a flight simulator hidden in a spreadsheet application.

The prize will be one of the books that I’d like to recycle (mailed anywhere in the world). I’m not exactly sure what they are, but at a minimum, your choices will include:

• Personal Development for Smart People by Steve Pavlina
• Achieve Anything in Just One Year by Jason Harvey
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

Some hints for you:

• There are 5 Easter eggs, and they all follow the same pattern.
• While the novel is filled with inside jokes, the ones meant as Easter eggs will be self-evident, at least in my opinion.
• If not, the fact that there are exactly five, all fitting the same pattern, will leave no doubt as to whether you have found them.
• You have to not just find them, but explain their significance.

If you figure them out, send me an email listing the five Easter eggs and their significance (don’t ruin it for others by revealing them in a comment). If you’re right, then you get to pick a book. I’ll update this post to indicate when the contest is over.

Boy, it feels great to finally get this book out there! Thanks for giving me an audience to write for. Retweets and reviews on Amazon or your blog are greatly appreciated.

You know how sometimes you read or hear something, and you have the feeling that you’re missing an inside joke? People who read my novel Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York may have that feeling every few pages. While some of the Easter eggs are obvious, many are not.

As I had always planned to, I’ve updated the epilogue to point out the hidden references, symbolism that may have been overlooked, notes about the actual writing of the novel, etc.

Here are some of the questions that are answered:

• Where do the characters’ names come from?
• What is the significance of the photon with a wavelength of 400 nanometers?
• What is the meaning of Jack’s cryptic notes, which even he doesn’t understand?
• What blogger is referenced twice, though not explicitly named?
• What’s special about the exact time that Jack wakes up?

etc., etc. To get the full Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York experience, you need to read the epilogue – but it contains spoilers! (The full text of the novel is still freely available at the link above.)

65 million years ago, an asteroid slammed into what would become the town of Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York. It left a thick layer of atmospheric dust that would shroud the world in darkness for 1,000 years. But it also left something else…

Now, in the final countdown to the Mayan-prophesied doomsday of 2012, a series of mysterious occurrences signals that the end is near. In a frantic race against the clock, mesothelioma lawyer Jack Crowley will risk everything to find the truth, knowing he is the last hope of saving the world from unspeakable evil.

My first novel is now available to be read online, for free. As you can see, it’s a 2012 doomsday novel revolving around a lawyer in an unknown town in New York. Before we go any further,

1. I’m aware that the asteroid really landed in Mexico, not New York. This is explained in the book.

2. I’m aware that the Mayans didn’t really predict the end of the world in 2012. This is explained too.

I’m not sure what genre this is, but it’s something like an apocalyptic thriller parody. Here are some selected characters:

Jack Crowley: A successful New York mesothelioma attorney at the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. He’s sick of all the 2012 hype, and he thought today would be just like any other. He was wrong.

Milli Vanilli Chilli Willi: A prominent mesothelioma physician who seems capable of anything. But can she cure the mother of all cancers?

Frank Breadstick: A bright-eyed paralegal whose good intentions are often compromised by his poor judgment. Will he be more of an asset than a liability?

Count Voldemort Sidious Hitler the Terrible (Morty): Senior partner at Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. Mesothelioma law is his life. Does he know more than he’s letting on?

Kentucky Jones (Tuck): Part archaeologist, part New Age thinker, part cowboy. Can he decrypt the important clues left by past civilizations?

Ivana Suyurass: A fierce lawyer with a fiery temper, she usually gets what she wants. Why is she showing a sudden interest in certain people?

Plenty O’Lawsuits: A young lawyer new to the firm. Will she find mesothelioma law to be the calling she hopes it is?

Teflon Tyrone: He doesn’t talk much, but you wouldn’t want to run into him in a dark alley. So what happens when someone makes that mistake?

Feel free to leave comments noting any typos, inconsistencies, plot holes, etc. that you find. All suggestions will be considered for inclusion in future revisions. (I’m aware that some of the links point to blank pages, and I’ll be working on this soon.) Other than that, just sit back and see what happens on this eventful December 20, 2012.

Right now, an evil cancer is threatening to end the world.
The only ones who can stop it are mysteriously disappearing.
And people I work with may be involved in both.

I’m mesothelioma lawyer Jack Crowley,
and today is the longest day of my life.

Read Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York, before it’s too late!