Motivation

Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

1,000 Ways To Be Happy

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Because apparently the blogosphere doesn’t have enough already…

Take a walk.
Learn a new language.
Talk to a child.
Play with a child.
Adopt a child.
Work on your 5-year plan.
Set realistic goals.
Cross something off your todo list.
Stop and smell the roses.
Pretend to be a marine biologist.
Hug someone.
Kiss someone.
Do something else with someone.
Digg something.
Forgive yourself.
Forgive someone else.
Empty your spam folder.
Shake someone’s hand.
Start a business.
Make a list of things you’re thankful for.
Stop complaining.
Stretch.
Make someone else happy.
Bake a cake from scratch.
Give excess stuff to charity.
Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Play pinball.
Sing.
Listen to music.
Listen to a car alarm as if it were music.
Call a friend and just chat.
Quit your job.
Use positive affirmations.
Do some spring cleaning.
Tell a joke.
Decide not to keep up with the Joneses.
Buy an expensive car and give it to the Joneses, just to mess with them.
Draw something.
Start a garden.
Quit smoking.
Get some fresh air.
Just decide to be happy.
Practice origami.
Jump in puddles.
Stay focused on the moment.
Dream.
Buckle your seat belt.
Balance your checkbook.
Do laundry.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Put on a fake moustache and go around telling everyone you’re looking for your long lost twin.
Go to church.
Stop going to church.
Only watch TV shows that make you feel better.
Start hitting yourself, and see how good it feels when you stop.
Get enough sleep.
Cross the street.
Obey the law.
Lose weight.
Gain weight.
Refinance your mortgage.
Pick your battles carefully.
Find a feather.
Go to the Super Bowl.
Go to the World Series.
Go to the Olympics.
Go to a party.
Have your portrait painted.
Watch the launch of the space shuttle.
Eat a box of donuts.
Brew your own beer.
Grow a beard.
Write a fan letter.
Do jury duty.
Go to Oktoberfest.
Be a mentor.
Teach a kid to read.
Write your mission statement.
Watch a lunar eclipse.
Celebrate a made-up holiday.
Support a cause.
Drive across America.
Count the stars.
FTP a file.
Go to the beach.
Ride a roller coaster.
Go fishing.
Go hot air ballooning.
Go camping.
Stop worrying about what other people think.
Compliment someone.
Take up photography.
Dye your hair blue and pretend you don’t know it’s blue.
Have phone sex with a telemarketer.
Stop watching the news.
Vote for someone who’s not George W. Bush.
Switch to Gmail.
Switch to Firefox.
Switch shampoos.
Clip coupons.
Light a candle.
Go to a museum.
Change a tire.
Change a diaper.
Go dancing.
Sneeze.
Make a time capsule.
Read articles about how to be happy.
Stop being a perfectionist.
Dress up like a clown.
Floss.
Stop being envious.
Stop being fearful.
Stop being angry.
Stop being sad.
Talk to someone about your problems and realize how stupid they sound.
Drop out of school.
Go back to school.
Look at trees.
Count to 1,000,000.
Go quack at some ducks.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Take a kid’s nose and eventually give it back.
Do a good deed.
Perform CPR on someone (when the situation warrants it).
Become an organ donor.
Visit the library.
Embrace simplicity.
Lower your expectations.
Wash your hands.
Read a random article on Wikipedia.
See how fast you can run.
See how high you can jump.
Mow the lawn.
Learn sign language.
Learn Pig Latin.
Teach your kids Pig Latin as their native language.
Subscribe to a blog.
Get married.
Get divorced.
Say please.
Say thank you.
Say you’re welcome.
Leave comments on a blog.
Read a blog post.
Write a blog post.
Read a book.
Write a book.
Watch a movie.
Write a movie script.
Read a haiku.
Write a haiku.
Read a sonnet.
Write a sonnet.
Visit Alabama.
Visit Alaska.
Visit Arizona.
Visit Arkansas.
Visit California.
Visit Colorado.
Visit Connecticut.
Visit Delaware.
Visit Florida.
Visit Georgia.
Visit Hawaii.
Visit Idaho.
Visit Illinois.
Visit Indiana.
Visit Iowa.
Visit Kansas.
Visit Kentucky.
Visit Louisiana.
Visit Maine.
Visit Maryland.
Visit Massachusetts.
Visit Michigan.
Visit Minnesota.
Visit Mississippi.
Visit Missouri.
Visit Montana.
Visit Nebraska.
Visit Nevada.
Visit New Hampshire.
Visit New Jersey.
Visit New Mexico.
Visit New York.
Visit North Carolina.
Visit North Dakota.
Visit Ohio.
Visit Oklahoma.
Visit Oregon.
Visit Pennsylvania.
Visit Rhode Island.
Visit South Carolina.
Visit South Dakota.
Visit Tennessee.
Visit Texas.
Visit Utah.
Visit Vermont.
Visit Virginia.
Visit Washington, D.C.
Visit Washington state.
Visit West Virginia.
Visit Wisconsin.
Visit Wyoming.
Visit Albania.
Visit Algeria.
Visit Andorra.
Visit Angola.
Visit Antigua and Barbuda.
Visit Argentina.
Visit Armenia.
Visit Australia.
Visit Austria.
Visit Azerbaijan.
Visit the Bahamas.
Visit Bahrain.
Visit Bangladesh.
Visit Barbados.
Visit Belarus.
Visit Belgium.
Visit Belize.
Visit Benin.
Visit Bhutan.
Visit Bolivia.
Visit Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Visit Botswana.
Visit Brazil.
Visit Brunei.
Visit Bulgaria.
Visit Burkina Faso.
Visit Burundi.
Visit Cambodia.
Visit Cameroon.
Visit Canada.
Visit Cape Verde.
Visit Chad.
Visit Chile.
Visit China.
Visit Colombia.
Visit Comoros.
Visit Costa Rica.
Visit Côte d’Ivoire.
Visit Croatia.
Visit Cuba.
Visit Cyprus.
Visit Czech Republic.
Visit Denmark.
Visit Djibouti.
Visit Dominica.
Visit the Dominican Republic.
Visit East Timor.
Visit Ecuador.
Visit Egypt.
Visit El Salvador.
Visit Equatorial Guinea.
Visit Eritrea.
Visit Estonia.
Visit Ethiopia.
Visit Fiji.
Visit Finland.
Visit France.
Visit Gabon.
Visit the Gambia.
Visit Germany.
Visit Greece.
Visit Grenada.
Visit Guatemala.
Visit Guinea.
Visit Guinea-Bissau.
Visit Guyana.
Visit Honduras.
Visit Hungary.
Visit Iceland.
Visit India.
Visit Indonesia.
Visit Ireland.
Visit Israel.
Visit Italy.
Visit Jamaica.
Visit Japan.
Visit Jordan.
Visit Kazakhstan.
Visit Kenya.
Visit Kiribati.
Visit Kuwait.
Visit Kyrgyzstan.
Visit Laos.
Visit Latvia.
Visit Lesotho.
Visit Liberia.
Visit Liechtenstein.
Visit Lithuania.
Visit Luxembourg.
Visit Macedonia.
Visit Madagascar.
Visit Malawi.
Visit Malaysia.
Visit Maldives.
Visit Mali.
Visit Malta.
Visit the Marshall Islands.
Visit Mauritania.
Visit Mauritius.
Visit Mexico.
Visit Micronesia.
Visit Moldova.
Visit Monaco.
Visit Mongolia.
Visit Montenegro.
Visit Morocco.
Visit Mozambique.
Visit Namibia.
Visit Nauru.
Visit Nepal.
Visit the Netherlands.
Visit New Zealand.
Visit Nicaragua.
Visit Niger.
Visit Nigeria.
Visit Norway.
Visit Oman.
Visit Palau.
Visit Panama.
Visit Papua New Guinea.
Visit Paraguay.
Visit Peru.
Visit the Philippines.
Visit Poland.
Visit Portugal.
Visit Qatar.
Visit Romania.
Visit Russia.
Visit Rwanda.
Visit Saint Kitts and Nevis.
Visit Saint Lucia.
Visit Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.
Visit Samoa.
Visit San Marino.
Visit São Tomé and Príncipe.
Visit Senegal.
Visit Serbia.
Visit Seychelles.
Visit Sierra Leone.
Visit Singapore.
Visit Slovakia.
Visit Slovenia.
Visit the Solomon Islands.
Visit South Africa.
Visit Spain.
Visit Suriname.
Visit Swaziland.
Visit Sweden.
Visit Switzerland.
Visit Syria.
Visit Tajikistan.
Visit Tanzania.
Visit Thailand.
Visit Togo.
Visit Tonga.
Visit Trinidad and Tobago.
Visit Tunisia.
Visit Turkey.
Visit Turkmenistan.
Visit Tuvalu.
Visit Uganda.
Visit the Ukraine.
Visit the United Kingdom.
Visit Uruguay.
Visit Uzbekistan.
Visit Vanuatu.
Visit Vatican City.
Visit Venezuela.
Visit Vietnam.
Visit Zambia.
Stumble something.
Do pushups.
Go jogging.
Smile.
Laugh.
Swim (backstroke).
Swim (breaststroke).
Swim (butterfly).
Swim (freestyle).
Go diving.
Take deep breaths.
Meditate.
Do jumping jacks.
Do cartwheels.
Stretch.
Go canoeing.
Lie in a hammock.
Go to the zoo.
Solve the Towers of Babylon.
Play basketball.
Play baseball.
Go bowling.
Play volleyball.
Play beach volleyball.
Play tennis.
Ride a horse.
Play rugby.
Play cricket.
Do crunches.
Go on a picnic.
Learn how to juggle.
Learn how to solve Rubik’s Cube.
Practice speedcubing.
Play soccer.
Do a jigsaw puzzle.
Do sudoku.
Do a crossword puzzle.
Play golf.
Practice yoga.
Do a headstand.
Throw away your PDA.
Play ultimate frisbee.
Play underwater football.
Play underwater rugby.
Play water polo.
Learn how to ride a unicycle.
Learn morse code.
Go scuba diving.
Go snorkeling.
Take up archery.
Take up painting.
Take up sculpture.
Take up auto racing.
Go surfing.
Go bodyboarding.
Go skateboarding.
Go hang gliding.
Go skiing.
Go cross-country skiing.
Go snowboarding.
Make a snowman.
Make snow angels.
Go sailing.
Play bocce.
Play dodgeball.
Play kickball.
Have a snowball fight.
Have a food fight.
Go rock climbing.
Go skydiving.
Upgrade WordPress.
Install a new WordPress plugin.
Look at something with binoculars.
Play chess.
Play checkers.
Ride a bike.
Solve a mystery.
Be there for someone.
Ride a train.
Get on a plane.
Take up wrestling.
Take up sumo wrestling.
Take up judo.
Play laser tag.
Play paintball.
Clean out your garage.
Clean your refrigerator.
Vacuum the carpet.
Polish the banister.
Clean a toilet.
Take up ballet.
Take up ballroom dancing.
Take up breakdancing.
Take up Irish dancing.
Take up Latin dancing.
Take up salsa dancing.
Take up tap dancing.
Take up hip-hop.
Take up fencing.
Take up kendo.
Take up boxing.
Take up karate.
Take up kickboxing.
Take up kung fu.
Take up taekwondo.
Take up hapkido.
Take up jeet kune do.
Take up ninjitsu.
Practice with nunchakus.
Play straight pool.
Play eight-ball.
Play nine-ball.
Play three-ball.
Play seven-ball.
Play ten-ball.
Play cribbage.
Play cutthroat.
Play Russian pyramid.
Play bumper pool.
Take up bullfighting.
Take up gymnastics (balance beam).
Take up gymnastics (floor).
Take up gymnastics (high bar).
Take up gymnastics (parallel bars).
Take up gymnastics (pommel horse).
Take up gymnastics (rings).
Take up gymnastics (uneven bars).
Take up gymnastics (vault).
Take up cheerleading.
Take up rope jumping.
Take up rhythmic gymnastics.
Take up trampolining.
Take up the trapeze.
Play handball.
Play four square.
Play field hockey.
Play lacrosse.
Play indoor field hockey.
Play indoor soccer.
Play hurling.
Go rollerblading.
Go roller skating.
Go ice skating.
Play ice hockey.
Play underwater hockey.
Play street hockey.
Go hunting.
Fly a kite.
Defuse a bomb.
Be a volunteer firefighter.
Enter a biathlon.
Enter a triathlon.
Enter a pentathlon.
Enter a decathlon.
Enter a marathon.
Enter a half marathon.
Enter an ultramarathon.
Enter a 10K race.
Enter a 5 mile race.
Enter a 1 mile race.
Enter a 1500 meter race.
Enter a 400 meter race.
Enter a 100 meter dash.
Enter a 100 yard dash.
Enter a 50 meter dash.
Enter a 50 yard dash.
Go motorboating.
Go waterskiing.
Ride a motorcycle.
Go kayaking.
Go whitewater rafting.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.
Go paragliding.
Go parasailing.
Go skysurfing.
Play badminton.
Play jai alai.
Play with a Ouija board.
Play paddleball.
Play ping pong.
Play platform tennis.
Recycle.
Turn off lights when not in use.
Plant a tree.
Help someone with their homework.
Help someone with their Eagle Scout project.
Update a Wikipedia entry.
Play racquetball.
Play squash.
Play softball.
Play t-ball.
Play speedball.
Play speedminton.
Play speed golf.
Play speed chess.
Play Chinese checkers.
Use a GPS navigation system.
Enter a hurdles race.
Go yachting.
Try ski jumping.
Go sledding.
Go bobsledding.
Do clay pigeon shooting.
Play hide and seek.
Play red rover.
Play tag.
Play freeze tag.
Go hiking.
Go to a waterfall.
Play backgammon.
Play Parcheesi.
Play Chutes and Ladders.
Play Go.
Play Monopoly.
Go to a rodeo.
Join AARP.
Renew some kind of membership.
Register a domain name.
Do a high jump.
Do a long jump.
Do a triple jump.
Do a pole vault.
Play hopscotch.
Do a discus throw.
Do a hammer throw.
Do a javelin throw.
Do a shot put.
Carry the Olympic torch.
Open a high-yield savings account.
Go racewalking.
Take up ham radio.
Go orienteering.
Enter a wheelchair race.
Play shuffleboard.
Twirl a baton.
Throw a boomerang.
Go bungee jumping.
Enter an eating contest.
Enter an egg and spoon race.
Play hackysack.
Go lumberjacking.
Go spelunking.
Buy a new mattress.
Play tetherball.
Enter a three-legged race.
Enter a sack race.
Enter a typing contest.
Play pin the tail on the donkey.
Play wallball.
Take up synchronized swimming.
Take up inline speed skating.
Take up figure skating.
Take up arm wrestling.
Take up thumb wrestling.
Take up bodybuilding.
Take up weightlifting.
Take up powerlifting.
Take up toe wrestling.
Play tug of war.
Play air hockey.
Play Connect Four.
Play dominoes.
Play Scrabble.
Play Stratego.
Play Risk.
Play foosball.
Play croquet.
Play darts.
Play horseshoes.
Take up knife throwing.
Play marbles.
Play jacks.
Play mini-golf.
Play beach handball.
Ride a dune buggy.
Play beach soccer.
Play beach rugby.
Join a marching band.
Join the circus.
Play polo.
Join Toastmasters.
Play ultimate football.
Play fantasy football.
Play wheelchair tennis.
Play wheelchair rugby.
Play wiffle ball.
Play flag football.
Play touch football.
Ride a jet ski.
Follow someone on Twitter.
Eat a banana.
Eat an apple.
Eat a pear.
Eat an orange.
Eat grapes.
Eat blueberries.
Eat strawberries.
Eat a kiwi.
Eat a watermelon.
Eat a cantaloupe.
Eat an apricot.
Eat cherries.
Eat a plum.
Eat a nectarine.
Eat a tangerine.
Eat blackberries.
Eat raspberries.
Eat cranberries.
Eat gooseberries.
Eat non-poisonous honeysuckle berries.
Eat mulberries.
Eat a coconut.
Eat a mango.
Eat mangosteen.
Eat rhubarb.
Eat figs.
Eat a honeydew melon.
Eat raisins.
Eat dates.
Eat olives.
Eat pomegranate seeds.
Eat blood oranges.
Eat a clementine.
Eat grapefruit.
Eat a tangelo.
Eat an avocado.
Eat a guava.
Eat a kumquat.
Eat a passion fruit.
Eat peanuts.
Eat a tomato.
Eat cashews.
Eat chili peppers.
Eat macadamia nuts.
Eat a pineapple.
Eat a plantain.
Eat tofu.
Eat squash.
Eat beets.
Eat broccoli.
Eat asparagus.
Eat a salad.
Eat brussel sprouts.
Eat corn.
Eat cabbage.
Eat lettuce.
Eat spinach.
Eat endive.
Eat peas.
Eat turnips.
Eat pickles.
Eat cucumbers.
Eat eggplant.
Eat a bell pepper.
Eat a cayenne pepper.
Eat a chili pepper.
Eat zucchini.
Eat black-eyed peas.
Eat chickpeas.
Eat lentils.
Eat rice.
Eat celery.
Eat an onion.
Eat a carrot.
Eat an artichoke.
Eat ginger.
Eat a potato.
Eat a sweet potato.
Eat a radish.
Get off caffeine.
Eat less sugar.
Eat chocolate (but cut back on sugar overall).
Eat less processed food.
Eat a peach.
Eat less meat.
Drink less alcohol.
Drink more water.
Become a vegetarian.
Become a vegan.
Become a raw foodist.
Lower your cholesterol.
Lower your blood pressure.
Drink orange juice.
Eat salmon.
Play with a dog.
Play with a puppy.
Play with a cat.
Play with a kitten.
Start an ant farm.
Look for an alligator.
Look for an antelope.
Look for an ape.
Look for a baboon.
Look for a badger.
Look for a bat.
Look for a bear.
Look for a beaver.
Look for a bee.
Look for a beetle.
Look for a bird.
Look for a bison.
Look for a bluebird.
Look for a buffalo.
Look for a butterfly.
Look for a buzzard.
Look for a camel.
Look for a caterpillar.
Look for a cheetah.
Look for a chicken.
Look for a cobra.
Look for a coyote.
Look for a crane.
Look for a crocodile.
Look for a deer.
Look for a dolphin.
Look for a donkey.
Look for a dove.
Look for a duck.
Look for a duckling.
Look for a eagle.
Look for an eel.
Look for an elephant.
Look for an elk.
Look for an emu.
Look for a falcon.
Look for a ferret.
Look for a finch.
Look for a fish.
Look for a flamingo.
Look for a fox.
Look for a frog.
Look for a tadpole.
Look for a gazelle.
Look for a gerbil.
Look for a giraffe.
Look for a goat.
Look for a goldfinch.
Look for a goose.
Look for a gorilla.
Look for a guinea pig.
Look for a gull.
Look for a hamster.
Look for a hare.
Look for a hawk.
Look for a heron.
Look for a hippo.
Look for a hog.
Look for a hornet.
Look for a horse.
Look for a hummingbird.
Look for a hyena.
Look for a jackal.
Look for a jaguar.
Look for a jay.
Look for a jellyfish.
Look for a kangaroo.
Look for a ladybug.
Look for a lark.
Look for a leopard.
Look for a lion.
Look for a llama.
Look for a lobster.
Look for a magpie.
Look for a mallard.
Look for a manatee.
Look for a mink.
Look for a mole.
Look for a monkey.
Look for a moose.
Look for a mouse.
Look for a mule.
Look for a nightingale.
Look for an opossum.
Look for an ostrich.
Look for an otter.
Look for an owl.
Look for an ox.
Look for an oyster.
Look for a panda.
Look for a panther.
Look for a parrot.
Look for a partridge.
Look for a peafowl.
Look for a pelican.
Look for a penguin.
Look for a pheasant.
Look for a pig.
Look for a pigeon.
Look for a polecat.
Look for a pony.
Look for a quail.
Look for a rabbit.
Look for a bunny.
Look for a raccoon.
Look for a ram.
Look for a rat.
Look for a raven.
Look for a reindeer.
Look for a rhinoceros.
Look for a sea lion.
Look for a sea urchin.
Look for a walrus.
Look for a shark.
Look for a sheep.
Look for a skunk.
Look for a snake.
Look for a sparrow.
Look for a squirrel.
Look for a swallow.
Look for a swan.
Look for a tiger.
Look for a toad.
Look for a tadpole.
Look for a turkey.
Look for a turtle.
Look for a weasel.
Look for a whale.
Look for a wolf.
Look for a wombat.
Look for a wren.
Look for a yak.
Look for a zebra.
Play straight poker.
Play stud poker.
Play draw poker.
Play community poker.
Play bridge.
Play euchre.
Play hearts.
Play pinochle.
Play spades.
Play rummy.
Play 500 rummy.
Play gin rummy.
Play gin.
Play Mah-Jongg.
Play Go Fish.
Play Old Maid.
Play Crazy Eights.
Play Bingo.
Play Mao.
Play Uno.
Play war.
Play slapjack.
Play Egyptian ratscrew.
Play blackjack.
Play solitaire.
Play FreeCell.
Play Seven Up.
Play the flute.
Play the Irish flute.
Play the fife.
Play the pipe organ.
Play the pan pipes.
Play the recorder.
Play the slide whistle.
Play the tin whistle.
Play the piccolo.
Play the alto flute.
Play the bass flute.
Blow a whistle.
Play the piccolo clarinet.
Play the soprano clarinet.
Play the saxonette.
Play the basset clarinet.
Play the basset horn.
Play the alto clarinet.
Play the bass clarinet.
Play the saxophone.
Play the alto saxophone.
Play the tenor saxophone.
Play the bass saxophone.
Play the oboe.
Play the bagpipes.
Play the bugle.
Play the French horn.
Play the mellophone.
Play the sousaphone.
Play the trombone.
Play the trumpet.
Play the tuba.
Play the accordion.
Play the harmonica.
Play the banjo.
Play the clavichord.
Play the fiddle.
Play the acoustic guitar.
Play the electric guitar.
Play the harp.
Play the harpsichord.
Play the lute.
Play the mandola.
Play the mandolin.
Play the piano.
Play the viola.
Play the violin.
Play the piccolo.
Play the zither.
Play the bass drum.
Play the bongo drum.
Play the snare drum.
Play the steel drum.
Play the timpani.
Play the triangle.
Play the xylophone.
Play the castanets.
Play the chimes.
Play the cowbell.
Play the cymbals.
Play the glass harmonica.
Play the glockenspiel.
Play the gong.
Play the handbell.
Play the maracas.
Play the metallophone.
Play the rainstick.
Play the rattle.
Play the spoons.
Play the tambourine.
Play the vibraphone.
Play the electronic organ.
Play the electric piano.
Play the mellotron.
Play the synthesizer.
Play the laser harp.

What are your top 1,000 ways to be happy? Share them in the comments.

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Good News From The Doctor

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

I know someone who’s been having fairly serious problems with his back. After he went to see the doctor, he was very happy to tell everyone the good news:

“The doctor said that if I eat right, which I won’t, and exercise, which I won’t, everything will be fine!”

He seemed perfectly content knowing that he had the power to change, if not the desire. Sometimes there’s a psychological difference between having a choice and not having a choice, even if you allow the outcome to be the same.

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Want to hear the stream of consciousness ramblings of a possibly insane life coach? Then read Tim Brownson’s free ebook Don’t Laugh At The Life Coach. It’s a collection of posts he’s written on his blog, The Discomfort Zone. It’s witty and entertaining, and chock-full of examples of things not to do.

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Mister Rogers Addresses The U.S. Senate

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

In my post Don’t Label Me!, I talked about whether or not labeling is a good thing. I said that despite their bad reputation, labels are really necessary for communication, and when used in a thoughtful way, they make it much easier to express thoughts. However, when used carelessly, labels can be unhelpful, misleading, or damaging.

Barbara Swafford at Blogging Without A Blog left a comment, saying in part,

“Labels can be destructive, especially when applied to children. Call a child ‘shy’ and they begin to believe that. Call a child a ‘loser, good for nothing…’, and they often grow up without direction. But, call a child a ‘star’ or ‘outstanding’ or any other positive affirmation, and they often excel.”

I agree. It’s bad enough to use a negative label on an adult, even if they know it’s not true. It’s much worse to use it on a child, who will believe everything they’re told. But tell children how special they are, and there’s no telling how much good it will do.

And this is a perfect segue into a video I came across a few months ago, of someone who understood this perhaps better than anyone…Fred Rogers.

In 1969, the U.S. Senate held hearings about funding for the newly-formed Corporation for Public Broadcasting. A $20 million grant proposed by former president Lyndon Johnson was in jeopardy. President Richard Nixon wanted that amount cut in half. And Mister Rogers had to convince the tough-as-nails Senator John Pastore to give them the money they needed.

What a gift to be able to talk like that and sound so sincere! He turns Senator Pastore from a block of ice to goosebumps in just a few minutes, just by believing that children need to be told they’re special and appreciated and understood. Maybe we should be investing a little more in this kind of stuff.

“I give an expression of care every day to each child, to help him realize that he is unique. I end the program by saying ‘You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.’”
- Fred Rogers

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In other news, Writer Dad is the winner of my first contest, and he will receive a free copy of Bill Strickland’s Make the Impossible Possible. Congratulations, Writer Dad! I’ll be in touch.

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Randy And His Wonderful Pauschisms

Friday, August 1st, 2008

I got my first clue that Randy Pausch was a bit different when he got everyone on a first name basis, giving us all name tags and insisting that we simply call him “Randy.” I got my second clue when he said that he was giving away a giant stuffed bear to whoever did the best job on the first project. I got my third clue when he put on safety goggles and smashed a VCR with a sledgehammer. This all happened on the first day of class.

That was 12 years ago. Today, Randy Pausch is famous for his last lecture, a talk called “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” that he gave to reflect on important life lessons as he fought with pancreatic cancer. And while he passed away about a week ago, I figured there was no reason I couldn’t make him a posthumous guest of honor in my series Hunter’s Heroes: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Souls.

I’ll start by pointing you to some of his work, and then I’ll move on to some “Pauschisms” that you haven’t seen before.

First of all, if you haven’t seen The Last Lecture yet, you can watch it right here (1 hour 16 minutes):

After “The Last Lecture” the lecture came “The Last Lecture” the book. It’s along the same lines as the lecture, and partly based on it. He goes into more detail about some things he talked about in the lecture and answers some of the questions I had, like “If the lecture was just for your kids, why not record it at home?”

But he also talks about a number of things he didn’t mention in the lecture, such as my blog, which he mentions on page 184. (Yeah, I know I’ve said that like four times now. What can I say, I don’t get mentioned in books very often!) I’d say the main difference between the book and the lecture is that the book seems much more personal, as if he was really writing just for his kids.

A lot of people watched his last lecture but missed the one that he’s always been the most proud of, his time management lecture. In spite of all the technological advances made in the last 12 years, his updated version of this lecture is substantially the same as it was back then (1 hour 26 minutes, Randy comes on at 7:30).

Randy also had his own ABC special with Diane Sawyer (41 minutes).

And he gave this testimony to the Labor, Health and Human Services Subcommittee on behalf of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (8 minutes).

Before The Last Lecture, Randy was known as a friendly, insightful, and entertaining professor of computer science. I was in his Usability Engineering class at the University of Virginia (not Carnegie Mellon), where we learned about the often ignored practice of designing things to be usable. For example, if a smart person can’t figure out how to program their VCR, the problem isn’t with them, it’s with the VCR. Nothing drives that point home quite like a sledgehammer.

But while the class was useful and interesting, what we really liked were Randy’s “Pauschisms,” his profound sayings that he managed to work into every class, whether they seemed to be directly relevant or not. The following Pauschisms are just what I remember from 12 years ago so obviously they’re not exact quotes, but the message has been preserved, if not the wording.

On the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few:

“The stealth bomber costs $2 billion. Why does it have an ejector seat? If that plane goes down, that’s $2 billion that can’t be spent to save other lives. Even if a pilot’s in trouble, and he only has a 1% chance of landing safely, I still don’t want him to think there’s any other way.”

On being approachable:

“Please, call me Randy.”

On your email identity:

“I strongly suggest that you configure your email account to use your real name. Not something like ‘John the Stud,’ or whatever you thought was cool when you were 19.”

On ambiguous words:

“That’s the trouble with the word ‘last.’ It can mean either ‘final’ or ‘previous.’ And if you think it’s obvious, that everyone will know what you mean, that’s when you know you’re in trouble.”

On dress code:

“You know, Randy, this is a university, not a beach house.”

“Gee, you should have thought of that before you gave me tenure.”

On valuing your time:

“If I were to ask you for $20, you’d say ‘no way.’ And yet, I’m willing to bet that if I came up with any kind of flimsy excuse, any one of you would gladly give me half an hour of your time.”

On the scarcity of time and money:

“You always have infinitely more money than time. Even if you’re in debt. You can always make more money, but you can never make more time.”

On money’s power to corrupt:

“Money is a resource. You can always ignore it.”

On wasting time with unimportant tasks:

“Your goal is to get tenure. Planning the Christmas party is not going to help you get tenure. On the other hand, pissing off the head of the committee isn’t exactly going to help either. So you might suck it up and say, ‘OK, I’ll do it this one time.’”

On data vs. guesswork:

“You’re saying that your guess is better than my data?”

On being asked if he tested Disney’s Aladdin attraction on enough people for the results to be statistically meaningful:

“Is 25,000 enough?”

On remembering the human element:

“The Aladdin attraction had all the latest and greatest virtual reality technology, but there was a problem. Users didn’t find it realistic. And when we asked them why, they said ‘Because the other people didn’t look at me.’”

On having a story:

“People would play with the Aladdin attraction, and after a minute or so they’d get bored and ask what they were supposed to do. So we came up with a story. The magic lamp had been broken up into five pieces, and they had to go out and find them. After that, people could play for hours.”

Name tags

Now, back to that first day of class. When we got there, Randy had set out name tags on a table, and our names were already printed on them. He said if we went by a different name, just make the correction and they’d print a new one for next time. So every day we had class, we’d pick up our name tags and put them on our desks. That was the only class I had where the teacher called everyone by name, and it made such a big difference.

But I didn’t realize at the time that Randy had an ingenious dual purpose for the name tags. Once when I was talking to one of my team members about a project, he was checking his email and said “Oh, I got an email from Randy.” I looked at it, and just saw the subject: “Missing class on 10/17.” Of course! If you’re not there to pick up your name tag, he knows who you are. I don’t know what happened after that, but how many teachers even care if you show up to class?

Teamwork

We always worked on projects in teams, which were switched up after each project. And we all hated this, because doing something as a team inherently meant three times as much work as doing it solo. But it helped prepare us for the real world, where you usually have to work with people that you didn’t choose to work with. For each project, we wrote anonymous evaluations of our team members, and we only got to read them all at the end of the semester. Randy’s theory was that if something’s wrong with you, if people tell you enough times then you eventually listen.

Once we had an interesting team situation that threw Randy for a loop. He told us:

“I got an email from a student that started off: ‘Randy, I need to tell you that not all of our team members carried an equal share of the load.’ And right here I thought, ‘Oh boy, here’s another person complaining about his team members.’ This happens every semester, and I always say that we change the teams after every project so that everyone gets to work with everyone else, so I don’t want to hear any complaints. But then the email surprised me. It said: ‘On this project, I did not do as much work as the others. Please give some of my points to them.’ I had never seen something like this before, and I didn’t know what to do. And I decided that the fair thing to do would be to put it to a vote. By a show of hands, how many people think I should give some of this person’s points to his team members, keeping in mind there’s no guarantee that this will happen when you get stuck with a bad person? OK, the ayes have it.”

Not normal

One of my favorite Randy stories has also been popular with my friends, so I’ll end with that.

One day Randy was telling us that engineers as a group are not normal, and they often don’t keep in mind that the rest of the population is not like them. For example, engineers are not normal in that they like to use jargon, so they might write a user manual that no one can understand. And they’re not normal in that they like to edit autoexec.bat files (remember those?), so they might assume that users will know how to do this.

He called on someone and said, “Give me three reasons why you, plural, are not normal.” The student came up with some answers, and we talked about them.

Then one of the students, who had a notorious reputation for needing to draw attention to himself, started one of his typical clown routines. Randy called on him and said, “Give me three reasons why you, plural, are not normal. We could talk all day about why you, singular, are not normal.” Everyone laughed, and the problem student always seemed to be a bit less obnoxious after that.

Yoda, Captain Kirk, and Jim Carrey

Randy’s fellow professor Gabe Robbins described him as a combination of Yoda, Captain Kirk, and Jim Carrey, meaning he had a delightful mix of wisdom, leadership, and humor. I’m sure he’d rather be remembered for those things than being “the guy who had cancer.”

Still, he was a big supporter of pancreatic cancer research, a deadly disease that strikes without warning, and which we’ve made very little progress against. You can support research into curing pancreatic cancer via the Lustgarten foundation or the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN).

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From $20 In His Pocket To Owning 3 Hotels: Shilpan Patel’s Story

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

Success Soul

Here we go with the first edition of Hunter’s Heroes: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Souls.

You may know Shilpan Patel from his Digg-decimating blog Success Soul: Abundance and Simplicity for Mind, Body, and Soul. (Update 12/28/2011: his new blog is Street Smart Finance.) But did you know that he came to the U.S. with only $20 in his pocket, and worked his way up to owning 3 hotels? I asked Shilpan to share his story with us, and he was kind enough to oblige.

Hunter: Shilpan, why don’t you start off with what made you decide to come to the U.S.? I think that with your engineering background, you could have done pretty well in your native India. What caused you to choose a life over here, and how old were you when you decided this?

Shilpan: My father is a successful businessman. I have seen him working hard everyday to build a respectable business on his own. I could have just stayed in India after earning an engineering degree but I wanted to chart my own course. America is a land of endless opportunities. It was an easy choice when I realized that to chart my own destiny I have to leave home and do what life demands. I was 25 years old when I came to US about 17 years ago.

Hunter: Whenever I hear about someone coming to the U.S. with a tiny amount of money, I always wonder about the practical matters. I mean, you need food and shelter, and $20 doesn’t buy a whole lot. How did you get a foothold? Did you have family and friends over here to help you get started?

Shilpan: Well, I had a close friend who was kind enough to let me stay with him for the first several months. It was still difficult as I’m a vegetarian. I have never had to worry about the veggie food back in India but it was rather difficult in America at least for the first several months. It’s funny. I walked one day to a local pizza shop and ordered a pepperoni pizza with the false assumption that what I saw in the picture was a slice of a tomato. Later when I learned what it was – I laughed at myself for the stupidity.

Hunter: That’s not stupidity, it’s just part of getting adjusted to a strange land. I would have assumed it was a pepperoni pizza, but that’s because I’m so used to it. By the way, everyone, keep in mind that while there are plenty of vegetarian options available in the U.S. today, that was not the case 17 years ago.

Moving on, I’ve never known anyone in the hotel business before. How did you decide that’s what you wanted to do? Was it a family tradition, did it come from a love of real estate, did it come from a love of providing service, or for some other reason?

Shilpan: I always wanted to go into a business, as my father was a businessman. He still is my role model. I found out that lots of Indians owned hotels and for good reasons – it builds equity, it provides tax write-off and for some it also provides a primary residence.

Ten years ago, my oldest daughter got into kindergarten. My wife insisted that both of my daughters have to attend a private school. See, I went to the finest school in my town back in India. Most Indians make sure that their children get a good education. I was working for Johnson & Johnson at the time but my salary was not enough to pay for private schooling. Need is the mother of motivation. We sold our house and purchased a brand new hotel that had a nice living apartment. That was ten years ago.

I used to drive 45 miles to drop our kids off at the private school and then drive another 60 miles to work everyday for almost seven years. My wife would pick them up and make sure that they did their homework on time, etc. We worked hard, very hard for the first seven years of owning our first hotel. I never had any breaks or any vacations. My vacation would be to take friends to Atlanta or Stone Mountain Park if they visit us.

When I look back in retrospect, as crazy as it seems, I’m proud that every bit of effort was worth it. My daughters are very bright and I’m sure that when they chart their own course, they will have gratitude for me and my wife for the sacrifices that we have made along the way.

Hunter: I’m sorry, I’m going to need a minute to process this…

OK, for anyone who missed it, his morning commute was 105 miles for seven years! And when he says they worked “hard, very hard,” I’m sure that’s a euphemism for “way harder than most people could possibly put up with.” I have no doubt that your daughters will appreciate all the sacrifices when they’re old enough to understand.

So, from the time you decided you wanted to own hotels, how did the timeline play out? What year did you start, and when did you buy each hotel? How much time did you have to invest in learning the ropes, as well as actually running the business?

Shilpan: I actually had given hope to buy the first hotel. It’s an interesting story. Ira was the owner and builder of my first hotel. I made a very attractive offer to him as I was determined to buy the hotel but he did not respond. I was disappointed and angry for his lack of response. I had depicted a rather rude image of him in my mind.

Boy, I was absolutely wrong. Several months later, he called me and informed me that if I’m still interested, he is ready to close the deal. I was amused and confused. When I met him, he discussed all the private issues he went through during the time I made him an offer. As he was speaking, I was cursing myself for such a poor judgment of a man who was as nice as anyone I met in this great nation. This experience changed my entire way of thinking about life. He not only helped me establish a relationship with the local bank but also lent some funds to close the deal. It was an incredible experience.

When we took over the hotel, we did not know much about the business. My wife and I were determined to learn and deal with whatever challenges we had to face to learn the ropes. It was a struggle for a while as I was also working at the time. I strongly believe that if you decide to change your life, you can definitely do that. All you have to do is to free up your mind – do not restrict it with the stereotypes. Nothing is impossible if you do not program your mind with restrictions.

Hunter: I really like how your initial perception of Ira turned out to be wrong, and you got to see how he really is. A lot of the time, we judge somebody by a first impression that could be influenced by things going on in their life that we don’t know about. It reminds me of when Randy Pausch said: “Find the best in everybody. You might have to wait a long time, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting, it will come out. And be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity.” And this certainly became an opportunity for you, Shilpan.

Now let’s get into some nitty-gritty details. How does someone actually buy a hotel? Do you have to be rich to do it? How much does a hotel cost, and what kind of down payment do you need? How do you locate hotels for purchase and evaluate profitability? And how the heck do you learn how to run them?

Shilpan: No one has to be rich to buy a hotel. There is a prevailing myth that hotels are purchased by rich people. It is true that hotels do require huge capital investment but if you are keen to work hard, you can find partners. In my case, I had 28K when I made the offer. I knew that I did not have enough money as I had lost all of my assets in the stock mania of the mid 90′s. I borrowed some from friends with a promissory note to pay 10% return on their investment. As I said, Ira also surprised me by lending 100K of his own money. I’m still in disbelief.

It’s all due to my strict adherence to honesty and integrity that I learned from my father as a businessman. If you are honest, transparent to your partner, your friends and everyone else – the universe makes a way for your success. I have no doubt about the power of the universe and its positive influence in my life. It takes 20% down similar to a home purchase deal, but as I said with the help from friends and the owner himself, I was able to buy it.

I still remember that day. I was very nervous going to the bank as I had serious doubts about my ability to close the deal. I kept my eyes closed while the attorney was going through the paperwork, occasionally nodding to whatever he asked me without paying attention one iota to what he was saying. I was expecting the deal to go sour. All of sudden I heard the attorney’s somber voice – Mr. Patel, congratulations, you are the owner of this beautiful hotel. Success meets us on the cross roads when we are looking hard for a failure to show up. It’s amazing.

Hunter: I think you just shattered the stereotype many of us had in our minds about all hotel owners being like Donald Trump. How good it must have felt to hear the attorney say those words!

Tell us about a day in the life of a hotel owner. Do you actively manage the hotels yourself? How many employees do you have? What kinds of tasks do you perform, what are the hours like, and how stressful is it?

Shilpan: Gosh, life of a hotel manager. I have done everything Hunter – from managing the front desk to cleaning toilets. My wife has silently supported my efforts so I’m immensely grateful to her, but we both are thankful to this great nation for the opportunity. We both actively manage our properties. As a hotel manager, we have to schedule employees, take care of daily purchasing, deal with any issues and most importantly, make sure that we keep the property up to or exceed the franchise standards in terms of cleanliness and curb appeal.

Hunter: I guess in a business like that, you have to wear all kinds of hats. Have you ever experienced any major setbacks? Have you ever thought about throwing in the towel, or questioned whether you had chosen the right business?

Shilpan: Fortunately, we have not had major setbacks. It’s been relentless hard work though. As I said, we both have worked tirelessly for the first seven years. Now, we don’t work as hard but we still put in more than 60 hours per week. I’m not a quitter by nature. I’m not the smartest guy out there but I have an iron will. So does my wife. She is very focused and dedicated to our family. I guess you can call me lucky in this regard. Hunter, if you keep working hard, you can get luckier. I’m a staunch believer in doing your best without allowing thoughts of negativity to hijack your dreams.

Hunter: It was Samuel Goldwyn who said “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” But I think you’re a good example of that as well.

How does someone know if they’re cut out for the hotel business? And how can someone learn more about how to get started?

Shilpan: As I said, if I can do it, anyone can succeed. I’m not the one with IQ of 180 but I have succeeded with the relentless work. That’s all it takes to keep digging when there is no hope for the gold by general consensus. Always follow your heart and do what makes you happy. If the hotel business excites you but you don’t want to work beyond your regular 40 hours, it may not be your best suit. I’d suggest managing someone’s business for a year or so to get the feeling. I wasn’t fortunate to do so. I have learned the hard way but in the end what matters is the sheer determination and deep faith in your pursuit. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else has any interest in doing so either.

Hunter: And finally, where are your hotels located, for the next time we’re in town? Can you offer our readers any special discount, say 10% off and an extra chocolate on their pillow when they subscribe to your blog and subscribe to my blog?

Shilpan: For my blogger friends, I live about 60 miles north of Atlanta. I currently own a Ramada and a Quality Inn and I’m building a brand new Country Inn and Suites with an upscale shopping plaza right off I-85 near Atlanta. I’m very generous as a friend. It may be more than just 10% if you call me and introduce yourself. I will give you a box of chocolates and a hug if you subscribe to my blog. That’s the promise I will make and keep for all of you.

I am a passionate writer and thinker about life, bliss and goodness. I’m not a trained writer but I promise to write from my heart and with utmost honesty. You can see what I’m up to at my blog.

Hunter, thank you for this opportunity to share my life story. I’m both humbled and honored to do so. I hope that it will inspire those who still have self-doubt about their ability to make a profound change in their lives.

Hunter: And thank you, Shilpan, for this incredible interview. Even for those of us who already knew you, I think it helps us see you in a different light. I’ll try to refrain from making a Forrest Gump response to your “box of chocolates” comment, but guys – definitely go check out his blog for all kinds of great life advice. You never know what you’re gonna get.

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Hunter’s Heroes: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Souls

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

It’s time to announce a new series I’m going to be running on this blog, titled “Hunter’s Heroes: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Souls.” (I’m using “Heroes” to refer to both men and women, as opposed to the more accurate but much clumsier “Heroes/Heroines.”)

There are countless people out there who exemplify a true hero in my eyes. People who are not necessarily born with a silver spoon in their mouth or blessed with superhuman abilities, but who nevertheless work their way up to being great role models in one way or another.

While I don’t want to open my blog up for guest posting, I do think it’s a good idea to do interviews. It’s one thing to listen to someone talk, but it’s another thing to have a conversation with them. Instead of doing broad “tell us everything about yourself” interviews, I’m going to try to focus on a particular angle, preferably showing a side of the interviewee that we haven’t seen a million times before. And I won’t be following any kind of regular schedule; I’ll do just them “whenever.”

Stay tuned for stories of regular people showing incredible courage, integrity, persistence, faith, selflessness, achievement, and so on. Be sure to subscribe for free updates so you don’t miss any. Come on, you know you want to!

Here’s my list of heroes so far:

From $20 In His Pocket To Owning 3 Hotels: Shilpan Patel’s Story
Randy And His Wonderful Pauschisms
Akashic Record Reading With Akemi Gaines, Part 1
Akashic Record Reading With Akemi Gaines, Part 2
Steve Pavlina’s Secrets Of Truth, Love, And Power
EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) With Evelyn Lim
Light Ascension With Akemi Gaines, Part 1
Light Ascension With Akemi Gaines, Part 2

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Forgiving Yourself For A Fatal Mistake

Friday, July 18th, 2008

In a 2006 episode of Scrubs (which is tied for the highest-rated episode of the series), Dr. Cox makes a decision that appears to save the day, and then backfires horribly.

Three patients need new organs, and two of them will die within a few hours if they don’t get transplants. Dr. Cox is doing everything he can to find the organs he needs, and he finally gets them when another patient dies of an apparent drug overdose. But after the transplants are made, he learns that the donor actually died of rabies. This means that all three patients are now infected, and the race is on to save them.

Then this happened: (warning – really sad!)

(This episode was based on the true story of three American patients who died in 2004 after receiving transplants from a donor with rabies. The donor died of a brain hemorrhage after smoking crack cocaine, so that was assumed to be the cause of death. Only later was he found to have rabies, which would produce similar symptoms.)

How would you feel if you made the call that caused someone to die? Would you completely shut down, turn to destructive behavior, and let it take over your life? Or would you be able to effectively work through the crisis in the healthiest way possible?

Mary Jaksch explains how to successfully emerge from the darkest moments in her ebook From Tragedy to Triumph: Winning Through a Life Crisis. Unfortunately, bad things can happen when we least expect them. If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my review of her ebook (the previous link) and see if you think it would be helpful to you, now or in the future.

As for Dr. Cox, let’s hear your thoughts. Did he make the right call by ordering the transplants without waiting for an autopsy? Should he have first ordered transplants for the two patients who were about to die, but waited on the third one? If he made the wrong call, is it forgivable? The third patient was his friend. Does this make a difference, or is a life a life? When deciding whether to quit practicing medicine, is it more important to consider his past mistake or the good he could do in the future?

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From Tragedy To Triumph: Winning Through A Life Crisis

Monday, July 14th, 2008

Have you ever experienced a life crisis, one that threatened to cripple you with fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, or stress? Mary Jaksch did last year, when an unscrupulous builder cheated her out of a six-figure sum and left her future in jeopardy.

Fortunately for Mary though, she had the benefit of being a psychotherapist and Zen master. She knew a way of getting through her crisis that was a lot healthier than what most of us would have done. After all, she’s helped many people work through the worst times in their lives, showing them how to recover and be happy again. And now she’s showing us how to do just that in her ebook.

The five steps of healing that Mary covers are acceptance, presence, action, forgiveness, and integration. Mary goes into detail on how to move through each step, using examples of people she knows who have successfully recovered from a crisis.

And speaking of these examples, be warned that they are pretty brutal and depressing. If you’d be bothered by reading about things like a 26-year old girl being knifed and stoned to death, then that’s something to consider. However, in the other reviews I’ve read, no one else has mentioned this, so maybe it’s just me.

I figure that the best way to use an ebook like this is not to wait until you’re in the middle of a life crisis, but to read it beforehand and then refer to it when you need it. It’s like car insurance: you hope you never need it, but it’s sure better to be prepared, isn’t it?

This ebook is 42 pages, beautifully laid out and illustrated, and it even comes with an audio version at no extra cost. It’s really cheap at only $12.50, and there’s an affiliate program that pays 40%.

From Tragedy to Triumph shows you how to reclaim your life after a family death, job loss, divorce, serious health issue, etc. You’ll learn how to:

Overcome fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, and stress.

Use proven feel-better strategies.

Rid yourself of obsessive thoughts.

Free yourself from hate, resentment, and bitterness.

Find forgiveness.

Return to your normal life happy and free of worry.

Discover new meaning in life.

Whether you’re currently going through a life crisis, or you want to know how to reclaim your life if one happens, From Tragedy to Triumph will help you find your way through the healing process.

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Indulging Your Inner Child

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

Child
Photo by Hamed Masoumi

In a post about gratitude and independence, Akemi Gaines talks about a few things, including a conversation she had with her inner child that was too adorable not to link to. Akemi and her inner child were in a grocery store after receiving $400 of dream money. In part, their conversation went like this:

Her inner child: Hey, I want that big flat of strawberries!
Her adult self: Amm . . . this dream money is for something nice, not about getting groceries.
Her inner child: But I want to eat all those strawberries! Lots and lots of them. I don’t want dinner, I want to eat all the berries.
Her adult self: Well . . .
Her inner child: You only get me that small tub from time to time. I want lots of strawberries, blackberries, blueberries . . .
Her adult self: You are right. . . well, maybe we can split the $400 and get some berries . . .

And Jerry Seinfeld’s inner child showed itself to be alive and well when he said this:

But I have to say I enjoy adulthood. I enjoy the fact that now, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie. Okay? I have three cookies or four cookies or eleven cookies if I want. What was the big deal with the cookies? “Not before dinner.” “Not too many.” “You’ve had enough.” “Not now.” Well, now I’m a grown-up, give me the cookies! Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. Beyond recognition. Then I call my mother up right after it to tell her. “Hello Mom? I just ruined my entire appetite…cookies.”

When was the last time you indulged your inner child? Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to ruin your appetite, run in the halls, color outside the lines, or something of that sort. Then tell us what you did!

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A Complaint Free World

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Complaint free bracelet

Six months ago, I heard about A Complaint Free World, a movement started by Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Missouri. It turns out that most people complain 15-30 times a day, which fills us with a lot of negative energy for no reason. Bowen’s church is taking on the problem by distributing purple complaint free bracelets like the one above.

Some scientists believe that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit, so the idea is to go for 21 days without complaining. You put the bracelet on and start counting the days. Whenever you complain, gossip, or criticize, you move the bracelet to the other wrist, and start again at day 0. It usually takes people 4-10 months to go for 21 days without complaining, but then they find their lives more enjoyable.

The Complaint Free FAQ defines complaining as “expressing pain, grief, or discontent,” and says that thinking a complaint doesn’t count if you don’t say it. But another page says that complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a deficiency or a mistake so that it can be put right, and not complaining doesn’t mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. You can see how the rules are a bit vague.

I first heard about this from Tim Ferriss, who took 3 months to make it to 21 days in a row without complaining. Since he believes in constructive criticism, his definition of complaining is “describing an event or person negatively without indicating next steps to fix the problem.”

The bracelets used to be free, and they just asked for donations from those who were able to pay. But they ran into many problems: postage costs nearly doubling, duplicate requests (because they were so backed up and people were impatient), very large requests without donations (thousands of people requested 10,000, 25,000, and even 250,000 bracelets without a donation), and fraudulent requests that wasted postage (one person wrote that he wanted to “see if you are stupid enough to send them”). When that happened, they discarded all open requests and asked people to request them again, with a limit of 3 bracelets per request (though larger quantities could be purchased). Now you can order 2 free bracelets (with $0.75 shipping), or you can buy 5 for $5.

I ordered 3 for my family in September, and then re-ordered them when asked to, but they haven’t arrived yet (not that I’m complaining). However, when I first found Clay Collins at The Growing Life, I noticed he was wearing a purple bracelet in his picture. I asked him about it, and he was generous enough to send me one of his extra bracelets! (Now don’t go flooding him with requests, because he probably doesn’t have any more.)

I started wearing the bracelet a week ago, and the results have been…well, I can’t finish that without complaining. I’ve had to switch the bracelet several times per day. Only once have I gone for 24 hours without complaining, and that was on the weekend. I’m very surprised by this, because I don’t think of myself as a complainer. But I see that I make a lot of mini-complaints, like telling my computer to hurry up when it freezes just trying to open Notepad.

I’m still early in the trial though, and I’m bound to get better. Even Rev. Bowen himself took three and a half months to finish 21 days. I’ll post an update when I finish, but don’t expect that anytime soon.

You can order your bracelets from A Complaint Free World right now, and simply use a rubber band until they arrive. A rubber band may not be glamorous, but it’s not like the bracelets emit some kind of anti-complaint radiation. And if you notice someone else complaining, you can tell them to switch their bracelet, but the rules specifically say that means you have to switch yours. Let me know if you’re able to complete this challenge for a complaint free world.

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