“If little labour, little are our gains:
Man’s fortunes are according to his pains.”

- Robert Herrick, Hesperides, 1650

“Gain with pain is good.
Gain without pain is better.”

- me, just now

Above is a picture of my right arm, showing my battle scars from my first class of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The bruises look much worse in real life, and I’ve got them on both arms, one side of my chest, one ankle, and one toe. But do pains imply gains?

Over the last couple of days, I took trial classes at two different BJJ schools, both of which looked great on paper. Both were fun and educational, but one of them barely made me break a sweat, while the other left me bruised, sore, and out of breath.

Which one do you think I signed up with? Which one would you have signed up with? I went with the second one (the pains), but I don’t think the most painful choice is always the best one.

Yes, some things require a struggle, and always quitting at the first sign of difficulty won’t serve you well. But it’s entirely possible to push to the point where additional pain becomes pointless or even counterproductive.

A common example is what weightlifters call overtraining. Some people think they need to do tons of sets every day and fight through the soreness, when in reality backing off and doing much less would give them more gains as well as less pains.

There’s a happy middle ground between cowardice and masochism. First, pick your battles (no sense in fighting for something that’s not important). Then, decide on a strategy (try to work smarter, not necessarily harder). Next, take what pain you must, but don’t mistake it for the goal. Finally, enjoy your gains, hopefully with as few pains as possible.

It’s easy to look at famous people and assume that they must have stumbled onto overnight success somehow. We think they were born with amazing talent that was immediately appreciated by the world. Unfortunately, this makes it easy to think that if you’re not successful by now, there’s no point in trying.

Of course, this isn’t true, even though it may seem that way. It’s always good to be reminded that even the biggest successes are almost always preceded by numerous failures, and that persistence is the key to eventually being a success.

Someone emailed me to say they featured my blog in their post 50 Famously Successful People Who Failed At First. I was annoyed that this turned out not to be true (apparently the email was a sloppy copy and paste job), but anyway, it’s a good list of people who reached success only after they had gotten failure out of their system.

It’s broken up into categories: business gurus, scientists and thinkers, inventors, public figures, Hollywood types, writers and artists, musicians, and athletes. But be warned that I noticed a few factual errors.

Here are some of my favorites that I hadn’t heard before, and which appear to be true:

• Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.”
• Elvis Presley was fired and told “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”

Do you know any successful failures who should be added?

Photo by Hammarstrand

Once upon a time, there were two brothers, Mario and Luigi. They were humble Italian American plumbers whose prospects didn’t seem particularly bright. For all their hard work, they couldn’t seem to find a better job than pest control in the New York sewers.

But one fateful day in 1985, Mario and Luigi were offered an opportunity. They were approached by a panicked citizen from the Mushroom Kingdom, who was clearly in need of help. Princess Toadstool had been captured by Bowser, king of the Koopas, and Mario and Luigi were the only ones who could save her.

Little did they know that their response to the challenge would change their lives forever.

Luigi spoke first. “Hello, mushroom man. This is most troubling news, and I certainly hope that Princess Toadstool is rescued as soon as possible. But what exactly would saving her entail? Would it be a fairly straightforward quest?”

“I’m afraid not,” the mushroom man answered. “Bowser has taken over the whole Mushroom Kingdom. Our people have been turned into inanimate objects, and Bowser’s thugs now roam the land. You will be greatly outnumbered.”

“But I’m not a fighter,” Luigi replied. “How can I defeat all these enemies? I don’t even know how to beat one of them, let alone a whole army.”

“You won’t at first,” the mushroom man said. “But you’ll learn with practice. Every enemy has a weakness that can be exploited, and once you get the hang of it, it won’t seem so hard.”

Luigi was still having grave doubts about this whole thing. “But I don’t want to have to go through a big learning curve,” he said. “I only want to face enemies that are really easy to beat, and no danger at all.”

“I’m afraid that won’t be the case here,” the mushroom man said. “Even the smallest enemy is bigger than you, and if one so much as touches you, you’ll die!”

“Egads!” Luigi shouted. “I can’t do that! Only a fool would choose to do something so risky. If I’m not sure that I can succeed, then why would I take such a big chance?”

“Oh, it’s not as bad as you think,” the mushroom man replied. “You’re more powerful than you know. You can jump on the enemies and smush them. There are also power-ups scattered throughout the land to help you. A magic mushroom will make you double in size. A fire flower will let you throw fireballs with your bare hands. And a starman will even make you invincible for a brief period of time.”

“Invincible?” Luigi asked. “That sounds a little hard to believe. Is it completely guaranteed?”

“Well, no,” the mushroom man admitted. “You would still be vulnerable in some ways. You could fall down a bottomless pit, or your time could run out. Nothing is ever perfectly safe, and you’re not immortal.”

“Now you tell me!” Luigi was now getting quite agitated. “This is starting to sound really iffy. I don’t know if I can take such a big risk. Do I have enough talent? Am I too old? Do I have enough life insurance?”

“Don’t worry,” the mushroom man said reassuringly. “It’s really not that big a risk. You’ll start out with three lives, and if you need more, you can find the hidden 1-Up mushrooms or collect coins to get extra lives. And if all else fails, you can always continue not far from where you left off. You haven’t really failed until you stop trying.”

“OK, mushroom man,” Luigi began. “Here’s what I’m gonna do for you. Yes, I’ll save Princess Toadstool, but only if you agree to my conditions. I want you to draw me a map showing the locations of all the hidden mushrooms. I want to start out with all the power-ups and infinite lives. I want to know about all the secret worlds and warp zones. I don’t want to go near fire, I don’t want to jump long distances, and I don’t want to get wet. Oh, and I also don’t want…”

The mushroom man had stopped listening by now. “Maybe I’m talking to the wrong brother,” he said. He turned to look at Mario, but he wasn’t there anymore – he was already off on his quest! Because Mario had simply decided that he was going to save the princess, and that was enough to get started. He’d figure out the details on the way.

Mario ended up saving the princess, and Luigi may have tagged along, but it was clear who was running the show. They had no choice but to name the game Super Mario Bros., and it became the best-selling video game of all time (it was finally outsold by Wii Sports in 2009, 24 years later).

Mario went on to star in many other games that bore his name, and he took his rightful place in history. He got his own TV show, movie, comics, and merchandise line. And Luigi was there for the ride, but he was always known as Mario’s sidekick.

Now, when duty calls, will you be a Mario or a Luigi?

“Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.”

- Shel Silverstein, “Put Something In,” A Light in the Attic

Yesterday was Shel Silverstein’s birthday. He died ten years ago, but his words live on.

Think of what you can do today to put something silly in the world. Then tell us what you did.

Erin Pavlina has an ebook out called 10 Ways to Raise Your Vibration in Under 10 Minutes. It’s free, but you have to sign up for her newsletter “Spiritual Wisdom for Conscious People” (you can unsubscribe at any time).

It’s a very quick read, with 10 tips you can put into practice right now to “raise your vibration.” If that sounds too mystical for you, you can substitute the phrase “put yourself in a good mood.”

Are you feeling depression, anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, gloominess, shame, grief, apathy, or helplessness? If so, you’ll learn ways to instantly trade all that in for strength, happiness, vibrancy, cheerfulness, delight, elation, euphoria, hopefulness, lightheartedness, and peace of mind. (Wow, the thesaurus is sure getting a workout!)

Harry Potter fends off a pack of Dementors with his Patronus charm, a magical version of the LOA.

What can Harry Potter teach us about the law of attraction? What would he even need it for, if he has a magic wand? Actually, one of his most powerful charms is nothing more than the LOA in a more visible form.

Of all the evil forces Harry faces, few are as sinister as the Dementors. Immortal soul-sucking wraiths, they turn the air cold and dark, feed on positive emotions, and make people feel like they’ll never be happy again. If they succeed in carrying out “the Dementor’s Kiss,” the victim is left as an empty shell with no chance of recovery, a fate believed to be worse than death.

Fortunately, there’s a very effective defense against Dementors, called a Patronus charm. Harry simply points his wand and says the magic words “Expecto Patronum!” Unlike most of Harry’s incantations, this one is correct classical Latin, meaning “I await a protector.”

And then the protector–the Patronus–arrives, an ethereal being flowing out of his wand as bluish white light. It absorbs the Dementors’ negative energy and repels them like a dog herding sheep.

Oh, how nice it would be to just wave a wand and sit back, letting the universe send a magical protector to chase away evil while you went about your business.

But here’s the catch – even in the magical world of Harry Potter, there is no universe-appointed protector. The Patronus is just you. It comes from your own emotions and, when fully formed, appears as an animal that reflects your personality or is somehow significant to you (according to various online quizzes, mine would be a phoenix, an eagle, a hawk, or a stag).

It’s an incarnation of your deepest positive feelings, that part of you that feels no despair and is thus immune to negative energies. Remus Lupin tells Harry, “In order for it to work, you need to think of a memory. Not just any memory, a very happy memory, a very powerful memory…Allow it to fill you up…lose yourself in it.”

So the Patronus is only as good as the one conjuring it. Although it’s completely within their control, it’s still very difficult to master, especially when under the stress of facing a Dementor. Lose your focus, and the Patronus becomes a weak veil of mist that won’t protect you from a fly. Even Harry failed in his first few attempts to cast one.

Whether there’s any metaphysical basis for the law of attraction, there’s no denying that a positive attitude can work wonders in plainly obvious ways. When people are putting you down, telling you you’re no good, saying you’ll fail, it takes a tough mind to tune them out. Most people don’t.

But if you let yourself be overcome by negative thoughts, there’s no escape. You fall victim to the Dementor’s Kiss, and become an empty shell of what was once a courageous soul. And the odds of an empty shell accomplishing anything meaningful are precisely zero.

OK, I know what you’re thinking. In a fantasy world, it’s not so hard to think happy thoughts for a few seconds until an enchanted animal spews forth from your wand and saves the day. In reality, it’s a lot harder to stay positive year after year when facing obstacles that don’t run away so easily. A dead-end job, poor health, and a struggling relationship don’t instantly fix themselves when you say “Expecto Patronum.” Why can’t we live in a world where things are that simple?

True, in our world, there’s a very convoluted connection between thoughts and outcomes. Overnight success still takes years, even when you stay focused and do everything right. But if results appeared instantly, would that be any better? Not really.

There will always be challenges, and the easier they are to overcome, the quicker they’re replaced with harder ones. A world that gave more power to you would also give more power to your obstacles.

If you could unlock a door by saying “Alohomora,” people could also say “Colloportus” to make the important doors Alohomora-proof. If you could disapparate (teleport) at will, people could also use anti-disapparition jinxes to keep you where you belong. If you could knock out any enemy by saying “Stupefy,” their friends could wake them up with the counter spell “Rennervate.” There are no special breaks, even for wizards, and certainly not for you and me.

Don’t wish for the world to be less challenging. Will yourself to have the strength to deal with it. Courage doesn’t require anyone’s permission but your own.

Are you awaiting a protector? If so, when will you create one?

For much more on the law of attraction, read Greatness Without Genies: The Law of Attraction for Realists.

How do you celebrate life? Let me count the ways. OK, there are 114 ways by my count.

Of course, I’m probably biased, having just read Marelisa Fabrega’s free ebook 114 Ways to Celebrate Life.

Just click and download instantly, no email address required. Then get lots of ideas for how you can make your life more enjoyable today. It kinda reminds me of Zen Habits.

As I went though the list, I kept count of how many of these things I’ve done in the last week or so. I’ve done 11 of them, including blowing bubbles (#36), going to a baseball game (#73), and eating Lucky Charms (#83).

(It would have been 13, but unfortunately the list does not include getting something from the ice cream man, or playing basketball with a stuffed cow.)

How many of the 114 have you done recently?

Incidentally, this is an example of a list post (or list ebook) done right.

In the 1991 Simpsons episode “Stark Raving Dad,” Homer wears a pink shirt to work, is mistaken for a “free thinking anarchist,” and gets sent to a mental institution. When it’s time to decide on his roommate, one of the asylum workers says “put him in with the big white guy who thinks he’s the little black guy.”

It turns out to be someone who thinks he’s Michael Jackson (and who was actually voiced by Michael Jackson, though credited as John Jay Smith and not revealed until later).

This guy may be delusional, but he sure is nice and helpful. When Bart doesn’t get his sister Lisa a birthday present, she gets very upset. “Michael” tells Bart that when he was a kid he didn’t have much money, so for his sisters’ birthdays he wrote them a song to show that he cared. And so he helps Bart find the words he can’t say in the song Happy Birthday Lisa (written by the real Michael Jackson though sung by Kipp Lennon). Lisa calls it the best present she ever got.

After “Michael” says his work is done and starts walking away, Bart asks why his voice suddenly changed. His answer is:

“This is my real voice. My name is Leon Kompowsky and I’m a brick layer from Patterson, New Jersey. All my life I was very angry until one day I just [switching to Michael Jackson voice] talked like this. All of a sudden everybody was smiling at me and I was only doing good on this Earth. So I kept doing it. To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?”

This is just one of the many gifts Michael Jackson gave the world. Maybe not his biggest one, but just another thing he did to make people smile.

With this awful recession weakening people’s spirits, it’s important to remind ourselves now and then that there’s a lot of stuff to feel good about. Here are 5 of my favorite YouTube videos that never fail as mood boosters. Any one of them could make your day. Watch all 5 and you might choke on your own happy hormones.

Susan Boyle auditions for Britain’s Got Talent

I just came across this one yesterday via Career Renegade, but it’s quickly taking the world by storm. Susan Boyle, a plain looking, unemployed, 47 year old woman, did a singing audition last week before a highly judgmental audience, including the brutal judges Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan. (YouTube embedding is disabled for this one, but just click on the picture.)

Reunion with Christian the lion

John Rendall and Ace Berg rescued a lion cub from a sad life in a London department store in 1969. After Christian the lion got too big for them to keep, they had to return him to Africa. Then after he readjusted to the wild, John and Ace paid him a visit. Would he remember them?

Mister Rogers addresses the U.S. Senate

President Lyndon Johnson proposed a $20 million grant for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, but President Nixon wanted that amount cut in half. A youngish Mister Rogers went before the tough-as-nails Senator John Pastore, to persuade him that children are worth investing in.

Nick Vujicic living life without limits

Being a little different isn’t stopping Nick Vujicic from being happy, or inspiring millions of people.

Free parking changes the world

The short film Validation raked up awards at film festivals in 2007. No wonder, when you see what free parking can do for people. 16 minutes, but definitely worth setting aside time for.

By the way, a couple of these videos were popularized by big bloggers a few months ago, but subscribers to my newsletter saw them first. Sign up now, so you don’t miss the next one!

Super Bowl XLIII hasn’t started yet, so I don’t know what’s going to happen. It remains to be seen whether the Arizona Cardinals will beat the odds to win their first Super Bowl, while stopping the Pittsburgh Steelers from their record sixth Super Bowl win.

Regardless, nobody expected the Cardinals to make it this far. Although they’re the oldest team in the NFL, they’d never made it to the Super Bowl. Before the season started, oddmakers listed their odds of making it to the Super Bowl at 50 to 1. But they did, becoming only the second team to ever do so with 7 losses.

They might win the Super Bowl tonight, and they might not. But even if they don’t, their strategy will eventually work. That’s because it’s the only way to do anything:

1. Set your goal.
2. Make a plan.
3. Execute your plan.
4a. If successful, proceed to step 5.
4b. If not successful, go back to step 2. Repeat as many times as necessary.
5. Achieve your goal.

This plan might not get you to your goal quickly, but it’s better than the alternative:

1. Set your goal.
2. Do whatever.
3. Give up on your goal.

Of course, other things factor into this, like desire, knowledge, and skill. But if you’re not willing to keep trying, the rest doesn’t matter.