On March 31st, I wrote a post about A Complaint Free World, a movement started by Rev. Will Bowen. People complain 15-30 times a day on average, but this complaining really doesn’t do any good. And Bowen has a simple idea for fixing it.

Just put on one of his purple bracelets. If you ever complain, switch it to the other wrist. When you keep it on the same wrist for 21 days in a row, you’ve established a habit of not complaining, and life is better.

A couple days ago, Will Bowen found my blog, I guess through a Google search (I’m currently #24 for “a complaint free world”). Someone from his organization emailed and called me, saying they wanted to send me a copy of their book, as well as the bracelets I requested a while back but haven’t received yet. Not that I’m complaining! But their all-volunteer staff is really backed up, and they’ve had problems with fraudulent requests and so forth. I’ve been using a bracelet that I got from alternate productivity superdude Clay Collins.

What makes this even better is the timing. When they contacted me, I had just completed the 21 day challenge 4 days earlier. So they offered to send me a complaint free t-shirt, and reminded me that I could have my name added to the list of 21 Day Complaint Free Champions.

It took me 5 months to go for 21 consecutive days without complaining, which is within the typical range of 4-10 months. Rev. Will Bowen took three and a half months to finish, and Tim Ferriss took three months (not sure why, the guy only works 4 hours a week). I showed very gradual progress, taking a week to make it one day without complaining, and taking maybe three months to make it a week without complaining.

What I noticed early on is that I felt very vulnerable when I didn’t allow myself to complain, like I had deprived myself of an essential means of defense. When talking to people, I felt like I had to be very careful not to say what was on my mind, and just take whatever they said without reacting much. But this feeling faded pretty fast.

The day after I started, I found that someone who had done something for me made a mistake that really needed to be fixed. I didn’t know what to do. Did I have to just accept what they had done, and live with the innocent but awful mistake? I checked the website for a loophole.

Fortunately, the website said you’re allowed to inform someone of a mistake that needs to be corrected. You just can’t get all emotional about it. So with that in mind, I found that complaining, as they define it, really wasn’t the necessary part of life that we make it out to be. I considered myself to be a low-volume complainer when I started, but I was surprised to see how much I complained without noticing. And I’ve noticed that a lot of people pick some really stupid things to complain about.

I’ve come a long way, but I’m certainly not perfect about not complaining. They say that complaints don’t count if you keep them in your head, and I’ve needed to use that technicality to make it for 21 days. I still complain in my head more than I’d like to, so I’m still working on that. But I was really surprised that I managed to not complain out loud when I upgraded to WordPress 2.6 and couldn’t log in to my blog.

So far, I only know for sure of one person who I’ve gotten to wear the bracelet. He’s been inconsistent with wearing it, and ironically, he’s been complaining that the bracelet isn’t comfortable. But he’s trying, and that’s really the point. Just make an effort, and you’ll get there eventually.

Are you complaint free? If not, what’s stopping you?

Image from The Simpsons

Abraham Simpson, also known as “Grampa,” is well known to fans of The Simpsons around the world. One of the leading experts on misery, he can teach us much about how to live more miserable lives. Here are some of his most important lessons.

1. Don’t take any crap from inanimate objects.

Being inanimate is just another excuse for being lazy, and we have to show these objects who’s boss. Abraham’s crowning achievement was being featured in the newspaper for yelling at a fluffy white cloud. In his day, clouds respected their elders. Nowadays, they’re floating around like they own the place. Don’t let them.

2. Be a lousy father.

Your kids probably won’t take care of you in your golden years, so why not get revenge in advance? Your children are the future…unless you stop them.

When his son Homer was six years old, Abraham told him, “Homer, you’re dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!”

When Homer grew up, one day he realized that his parents never told him his middle name. When he asked what it was, Abraham said, “How should I know? It was your mother’s job to name you, and love you and such. I was mainly in it for the spanking.”

3. Write letters to complain about anything that isn’t exactly how you like it.

Abraham wrote a letter to the president, saying “Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.” While he didn’t specify which ones should be cut in the letter, on another occasion he said, “I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah.”

He also wrote a letter to complain about the commercials on TV, saying, “Dear advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels.”

While many people would let these things slide, Abraham knows that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.

4. Make enemies with animals.

While humans deserve most of your wrath, animals aren’t automatically exempt. Every one of them is a potential threat, and you can never let your guard down.

Abraham once underestimated a turtle, who stole his false teeth and ran off. Adding insult to injury, when he finally caught up, the turtle bit him with his own teeth.

When a gorilla threatened to move in on his girlfriend, Abraham vowed to give him the frowning of a lifetime.

He was looking for a new pet at the retirement home, after they “accidentally killed that smart mouth bird.” Sure, “accidentally.”

5. Remain stuck in the past. Preferably, a past that never actually happened.

Abraham is very much stuck in a past that he created with his imagination, as well as what he was able to piece together from sugar packets. The past is much more important than the present, because you can make it whatever you want it to be, as long as you don’t get caught.

He claims to have invented the toilet, turned cats and dogs against each other, canceled Star Trek, lived in the head of the Statue of Liberty, been spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions, nearly killed Hitler with a javelin in the 1936 Olympics, invented kissing as a new way of spreading germs in World War I, and died in World War II.

Go ahead, try to prove him wrong (well, maybe we can prove he didn’t die in World War II since he’s alive today). Anything that’s not verifiably false is true enough. Don’t pay any attention to the present, because soon enough it becomes the past, and then you can change it to your liking.

This post is a sample entry for my “How To Be Miserable” Contest, sponsored by life coach Tim Brownson. Enter for your chance to win a book or a coaching session!

Well gang, we’ve just seen 1,000 Ways To Be Happy. But in the interest of living a balanced life, we should now explore the art of being miserable.

I’m running a contest sponsored by professional life coach Tim Brownson. Tim is offering these terrific prizes:

• A full life coaching session of one hour. (Tim suggests that helping the person understand their values would be most beneficial, but he’s happy to let them decide what they want the session to cover.)
• A signed copy of his book “Don’t Ask Stupid Questions - There Are No Stupid Questions” (mailed anywhere in the world).
• A copy of his ebook “Know Yourself - Change Yourself.”

The 1st place finisher will choose the prize they want, the 2nd place finisher will choose from the remaining two prizes, and the 3rd place finisher will get the remaining prize.

To enter the contest, you’ll write a post about how to be miserable. To see some sample ways to be miserable, and to get an idea about the spirit of the contest, watch Tim’s video Ways To Be Miserable.

There are three steps to entering:

1. Write a post about how to be miserable. The style and format is up to you. You might pick your favorite method of misery and describe it in detail, or you might write a list post, or you might record a video post…whatever works for you. Entries will be judged by Tim and me on the basis of originality, humor, and insight.

2. Link to both Tim and me in your post. Exactly how you do that is up to you, just use decent keywords in the link text. Here are some examples of how you might do it:

“Hunter Nuttall is running a contest on his personal development blog, sponsored by life coach Tim Brownson.” (links go to our main pages)

or

“I came across this ‘How To Be Miserable’ Contest that Hunter is running, based on Tim Brownson’s Ways To Be Miserable Video.” (links go to specific posts)

3. Leave a comment below to tell us you’ve entered the contest. We want to be able to see all the entries in one place, so just leave a comment below saying “Hi, my post about how to be miserable is here: http://…” Of course, you’re welcome to leave a comment without having entered the contest. And don’t worry about someone else reading your post and stealing your ideas, because we’ll know who wrote what first.

I’ll write a misery post just for fun and to demonstrate a sample entry, not to actually enter the contest. On the other hand, if we don’t have at least three people enter, then heck yeah I’ll claim a prize–I want that coaching!

(BTW, in my last contest, I said that if you entered but didn’t win, your entry would roll forward to the next contest. Obviously that won’t work here since this isn’t a random drawing, so your entry from last time will roll forward to the next contest after this one.)

All entries must be received by 11:59 PM EST Monday, September 1, 2008. Good luck, and may the most miserable person win!

Because apparently the blogosphere doesn’t have enough already…

1. Take a walk.
2. Learn a new language.
3. Talk to a child.
4. Play with a child.
5. Adopt a child.
6. Work on your 5-year plan.
7. Set realistic goals.
8. Cross something off your todo list.
9. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Pretend to be a marine biologist.
11. Hug someone.
12. Kiss someone.
13. Do something else with someone.
14. Digg something.
15. Forgive yourself.
16. Forgive someone else.
17. Empty your spam folder.
18. Shake someone’s hand.
19. Start a business.
20. Make a list of things you’re thankful for.
21. Stop complaining.
22. Stretch.
23. Make someone else happy.
24. Bake a cake from scratch.
25. Give excess stuff to charity.
26. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
27. Play pinball.
28. Sing.
29. Listen to music.
30. Listen to a car alarm as if it were music.
31. Call a friend and just chat.
32. Quit your job.
33. Use positive affirmations.
34. Do some spring cleaning.
35. Tell a joke.
36. Decide not to keep up with the Joneses.
37. Buy an expensive car and give it to the Joneses, just to mess with them.
38. Draw something.
39. Start a garden.
40. Quit smoking.
41. Get some fresh air.
42. Just decide to be happy.
43. Practice origami.
44. Jump in puddles.
45. Stay focused on the moment.
46. Dream.
47. Buckle your seat belt.
48. Balance your checkbook.
49. Do laundry.
50. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
51. Put on a fake moustache and go around telling everyone you’re looking for your long lost twin.
52. Go to church.
53. Stop going to church.
54. Only watch TV shows that make you feel better.
55. Start hitting yourself, and see how good it feels when you stop.
56. Get enough sleep.
57. Cross the street.
58. Obey the law.
59. Lose weight.
60. Gain weight.
61. Refinance your mortgage.
62. Pick your battles carefully.
63. Find a feather.
64. Go to the Super Bowl.
65. Go to the World Series.
66. Go to the Olympics.
67. Go to a party.
68. Have your portrait painted.
69. Watch the launch of the space shuttle.
70. Eat a box of donuts.
71. Brew your own beer.
72. Grow a beard.
73. Write a fan letter.
74. Do jury duty.
75. Go to Oktoberfest.
76. Be a mentor.
77. Teach a kid to read.
78. Write your mission statement.
79. Watch a lunar eclipse.
80. Celebrate a made-up holiday.
81. Support a cause.
82. Drive across America.
83. Count the stars.
84. FTP a file.
85. Go to the beach.
86. Ride a roller coaster.
87. Go fishing.
88. Go hot air ballooning.
89. Go camping.
90. Stop worrying about what other people think.
91. Compliment someone.
92. Take up photography.
93. Dye your hair blue and pretend you don’t know it’s blue.
94. Have phone sex with a telemarketer.
95. Stop watching the news.
96. Vote for someone who’s not George W. Bush.
97. Switch to Gmail.
98. Switch to Firefox.
99. Switch shampoos.
100. Clip coupons.
101. Light a candle.
102. Go to a museum.
103. Change a tire.
104. Change a diaper.
105. Go dancing.
106. Sneeze.
107. Make a time capsule.
108. Read articles about how to be happy.
109. Stop being a perfectionist.
110. Dress up like a clown.
111. Floss.
112. Stop being envious.
113. Stop being fearful.
114. Stop being angry.
115. Stop being sad.
116. Talk to someone about your problems and realize how stupid they sound.
117. Drop out of school.
118. Go back to school.
119. Look at trees.
120. Count to 1,000,000.
121. Go quack at some ducks.
122. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
123. Take a kid’s nose and eventually give it back.
124. Do a good deed.
125. Perform CPR on someone (when the situation warrants it).
126. Become an organ donor.
127. Visit the library.
128. Embrace simplicity.
129. Lower your expectations.
130. Wash your hands.
131. Read a random article on Wikipedia.
132. See how fast you can run.
133. See how high you can jump.
134. Mow the lawn.
135. Learn sign language.
136. Learn Pig Latin.
137. Teach your kids Pig Latin as their native language.
138. Subscribe to a blog.
139. Get married.
140. Get divorced.
141. Say please.
142. Say thank you.
143. Say you’re welcome.
144. Leave comments on a blog.
145. Read a blog post.
146. Write a blog post.
147. Read a book.
148. Write a book.
149. Watch a movie.
150. Write a movie script.
151. Read a haiku.
152. Write a haiku.
153. Read a sonnet.
154. Write a sonnet.
155. Visit Alabama.
156. Visit Alaska.
157. Visit Arizona.
158. Visit Arkansas.
159. Visit California.
160. Visit Colorado.
161. Visit Connecticut.
162. Visit Delaware.
163. Visit Florida.
164. Visit Georgia.
165. Visit Hawaii.
166. Visit Idaho.
167. Visit Illinois.
168. Visit Indiana.
169. Visit Iowa.
170. Visit Kansas.
171. Visit Kentucky.
172. Visit Louisiana.
173. Visit Maine.
174. Visit Maryland.
175. Visit Massachusetts.
176. Visit Michigan.
177. Visit Minnesota.
178. Visit Mississippi.
179. Visit Missouri.
180. Visit Montana.
181. Visit Nebraska.
182. Visit Nevada.
183. Visit New Hampshire.
184. Visit New Jersey.
185. Visit New Mexico.
186. Visit New York.
187. Visit North Carolina.
188. Visit North Dakota.
189. Visit Ohio.
190. Visit Oklahoma.
191. Visit Oregon.
192. Visit Pennsylvania.
193. Visit Rhode Island.
194. Visit South Carolina.
195. Visit South Dakota.
196. Visit Tennessee.
197. Visit Texas.
198. Visit Utah.
199. Visit Vermont.
200. Visit Virginia.
201. Visit Washington, D.C.
202. Visit Washington state.
203. Visit West Virginia.
204. Visit Wisconsin.
205. Visit Wyoming.
206. Visit Albania.
207. Visit Algeria.
208. Visit Andorra.
209. Visit Angola.
210. Visit Antigua and Barbuda.
211. Visit Argentina.
212. Visit Armenia.
213. Visit Australia.
214. Visit Austria.
215. Visit Azerbaijan.
216. Visit the Bahamas.
217. Visit Bahrain.
218. Visit Bangladesh.
219. Visit Barbados.
220. Visit Belarus.
221. Visit Belgium.
222. Visit Belize.
223. Visit Benin.
224. Visit Bhutan.
225. Visit Bolivia.
226. Visit Bosnia and Herzegovina.
227. Visit Botswana.
228. Visit Brazil.
229. Visit Brunei.
230. Visit Bulgaria.
231. Visit Burkina Faso.
232. Visit Burundi.
233. Visit Cambodia.
234. Visit Cameroon.
235. Visit Canada.
236. Visit Cape Verde.
237. Visit Chad.
238. Visit Chile.
239. Visit China.
240. Visit Colombia.
241. Visit Comoros.
242. Visit Costa Rica.
243. Visit Côte d’Ivoire.
244. Visit Croatia.
245. Visit Cuba.
246. Visit Cyprus.
247. Visit Czech Republic.
248. Visit Denmark.
249. Visit Djibouti.
250. Visit Dominica.
251. Visit the Dominican Republic.
252. Visit East Timor.
253. Visit Ecuador.
254. Visit Egypt.
255. Visit El Salvador.
256. Visit Equatorial Guinea.
257. Visit Eritrea.
258. Visit Estonia.
259. Visit Ethiopia.
260. Visit Fiji.
261. Visit Finland.
262. Visit France.
263. Visit Gabon.
264. Visit the Gambia.
265. Visit Germany.
266. Visit Greece.
267. Visit Grenada.
268. Visit Guatemala.
269. Visit Guinea.
270. Visit Guinea-Bissau.
271. Visit Guyana.
272. Visit Honduras.
273. Visit Hungary.
274. Visit Iceland.
275. Visit India.
276. Visit Indonesia.
277. Visit Ireland.
278. Visit Israel.
279. Visit Italy.
280. Visit Jamaica.
281. Visit Japan.
282. Visit Jordan.
283. Visit Kazakhstan.
284. Visit Kenya.
285. Visit Kiribati.
286. Visit Kuwait.
287. Visit Kyrgyzstan.
288. Visit Laos.
289. Visit Latvia.
290. Visit Lesotho.
291. Visit Liberia.
292. Visit Liechtenstein.
293. Visit Lithuania.
294. Visit Luxembourg.
295. Visit Macedonia.
296. Visit Madagascar.
297. Visit Malawi.
298. Visit Malaysia.
299. Visit Maldives.
300. Visit Mali.
301. Visit Malta.
302. Visit the Marshall Islands.
303. Visit Mauritania.
304. Visit Mauritius.
305. Visit Mexico.
306. Visit Micronesia.
307. Visit Moldova.
308. Visit Monaco.
309. Visit Mongolia.
310. Visit Montenegro.
311. Visit Morocco.
312. Visit Mozambique.
313. Visit Namibia.
314. Visit Nauru.
315. Visit Nepal.
316. Visit the Netherlands.
317. Visit New Zealand.
318. Visit Nicaragua.
319. Visit Niger.
320. Visit Nigeria.
321. Visit Norway.
322. Visit Oman.
323. Visit Palau.
324. Visit Panama.
325. Visit Papua New Guinea.
326. Visit Paraguay.
327. Visit Peru.
328. Visit the Philippines.
329. Visit Poland.
330. Visit Portugal.
331. Visit Qatar.
332. Visit Romania.
333. Visit Russia.
334. Visit Rwanda.
335. Visit Saint Kitts and Nevis.
336. Visit Saint Lucia.
337. Visit Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.
338. Visit Samoa.
339. Visit San Marino.
340. Visit São Tomé and Príncipe.
341. Visit Senegal.
342. Visit Serbia.
343. Visit Seychelles.
344. Visit Sierra Leone.
345. Visit Singapore.
346. Visit Slovakia.
347. Visit Slovenia.
348. Visit the Solomon Islands.
349. Visit South Africa.
350. Visit Spain.
351. Visit Suriname.
352. Visit Swaziland.
353. Visit Sweden.
354. Visit Switzerland.
355. Visit Syria.
356. Visit Tajikistan.
357. Visit Tanzania.
358. Visit Thailand.
359. Visit Togo.
360. Visit Tonga.
361. Visit Trinidad and Tobago.
362. Visit Tunisia.
363. Visit Turkey.
364. Visit Turkmenistan.
365. Visit Tuvalu.
366. Visit Uganda.
367. Visit the Ukraine.
368. Visit the United Kingdom.
369. Visit Uruguay.
370. Visit Uzbekistan.
371. Visit Vanuatu.
372. Visit Vatican City.
373. Visit Venezuela.
374. Visit Vietnam.
375. Visit Zambia.
376. Stumble something.
377. Do pushups.
378. Go jogging.
379. Smile.
380. Laugh.
381. Swim (backstroke).
382. Swim (breaststroke).
383. Swim (butterfly).
384. Swim (freestyle).
385. Go diving.
386. Take deep breaths.
387. Meditate.
388. Do jumping jacks.
389. Do cartwheels.
390. Stretch.
391. Go canoeing.
392. Lie in a hammock.
393. Go to the zoo.
394. Solve the Towers of Babylon.
395. Play basketball.
396. Play baseball.
397. Go bowling.
398. Play volleyball.
399. Play beach volleyball.
400. Play tennis.
401. Ride a horse.
402. Play rugby.
403. Play cricket.
404. Do crunches.
405. Go on a picnic.
406. Learn how to juggle.
407. Learn how to solve Rubik’s Cube.
408. Practice speedcubing.
409. Play soccer.
410. Do a jigsaw puzzle.
411. Do sudoku.
412. Do a crossword puzzle.
413. Play golf.
414. Practice yoga.
415. Do a headstand.
416. Throw away your PDA.
417. Play ultimate frisbee.
418. Play underwater football.
419. Play underwater rugby.
420. Play water polo.
421. Learn how to ride a unicycle.
422. Learn morse code.
423. Go scuba diving.
424. Go snorkeling.
425. Take up archery.
426. Take up painting.
427. Take up sculpture.
428. Take up auto racing.
429. Go surfing.
430. Go bodyboarding.
431. Go skateboarding.
432. Go hang gliding.
433. Go skiing.
434. Go cross-country skiing.
435. Go snowboarding.
436. Make a snowman.
437. Make snow angels.
438. Go sailing.
439. Play bocce.
440. Play dodgeball.
441. Play kickball.
442. Have a snowball fight.
443. Have a food fight.
444. Go rock climbing.
445. Go skydiving.
446. Upgrade WordPress.
447. Install a new WordPress plugin.
448. Look at something with binoculars.
449. Play chess.
450. Play checkers.
451. Ride a bike.
452. Solve a mystery.
453. Be there for someone.
454. Ride a train.
455. Get on a plane.
456. Take up wrestling.
457. Take up sumo wrestling.
458. Take up judo.
459. Play laser tag.
460. Play paintball.
461. Clean out your garage.
462. Clean your refrigerator.
463. Vacuum the carpet.
464. Polish the banister.
465. Clean a toilet.
466. Take up ballet.
467. Take up ballroom dancing.
468. Take up breakdancing.
469. Take up Irish dancing.
470. Take up Latin dancing.
471. Take up salsa dancing.
472. Take up tap dancing.
473. Take up hip-hop.
474. Take up fencing.
475. Take up kendo.
476. Take up boxing.
477. Take up karate.
478. Take up kickboxing.
479. Take up kung fu.
480. Take up taekwondo.
481. Take up hapkido.
482. Take up jeet kune do.
483. Take up ninjitsu.
484. Practice with nunchakus.
485. Play straight pool.
486. Play eight-ball.
487. Play nine-ball.
488. Play three-ball.
489. Play seven-ball.
490. Play ten-ball.
491. Play cribbage.
492. Play cutthroat.
493. Play Russian pyramid.
494. Play bumper pool.
495. Take up bullfighting.
496. Take up gymnastics (balance beam).
497. Take up gymnastics (floor).
498. Take up gymnastics (high bar).
499. Take up gymnastics (parallel bars).
500. Take up gymnastics (pommel horse).
501. Take up gymnastics (rings).
502. Take up gymnastics (uneven bars).
503. Take up gymnastics (vault).
504. Take up cheerleading.
505. Take up rope jumping.
506. Take up rhythmic gymnastics.
507. Take up trampolining.
508. Take up the trapeze.
509. Play handball.
510. Play four square.
511. Play field hockey.
512. Play lacrosse.
513. Play indoor field hockey.
514. Play indoor soccer.
515. Play hurling.
516. Go rollerblading.
517. Go roller skating.
518. Go ice skating.
519. Play ice hockey.
520. Play underwater hockey.
521. Play street hockey.
522. Go hunting.
523. Fly a kite.
524. Defuse a bomb.
525. Be a volunteer firefighter.
526. Enter a biathlon.
527. Enter a triathlon.
528. Enter a pentathlon.
529. Enter a decathlon.
530. Enter a marathon.
531. Enter a half marathon.
532. Enter an ultramarathon.
533. Enter a 10K race.
534. Enter a 5 mile race.
535. Enter a 1 mile race.
536. Enter a 1500 meter race.
537. Enter a 400 meter race.
538. Enter a 100 meter dash.
539. Enter a 100 yard dash.
540. Enter a 50 meter dash.
541. Enter a 50 yard dash.
542. Go motorboating.
543. Go waterskiing.
544. Ride a motorcycle.
545. Go kayaking.
546. Go whitewater rafting.
547. Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.
548. Go paragliding.
549. Go parasailing.
550. Go skysurfing.
551. Play badminton.
552. Play jai alai.
553. Play with a Ouija board.
554. Play paddleball.
555. Play ping pong.
556. Play platform tennis.
557. Recycle.
558. Turn off lights when not in use.
559. Plant a tree.
560. Help someone with their homework.
561. Help someone with their Eagle Scout project.
562. Update a Wikipedia entry.
563. Play racquetball.
564. Play squash.
565. Play softball.
566. Play t-ball.
567. Play speedball.
568. Play speedminton.
569. Play speed golf.
570. Play speed chess.
571. Play Chinese checkers.
572. Use a GPS navigation system.
573. Enter a hurdles race.
574. Go yachting.
575. Try ski jumping.
576. Go sledding.
577. Go bobsledding.
578. Do clay pigeon shooting.
579. Play hide and seek.
580. Play red rover.
581. Play tag.
582. Play freeze tag.
583. Go hiking.
584. Go to a waterfall.
585. Play backgammon.
586. Play Parcheesi.
587. Play Chutes and Ladders.
588. Play Go.
589. Play Monopoly.
590. Go to a rodeo.
591. Join AARP.
592. Renew some kind of membership.
593. Register a domain name.
594. Do a high jump.
595. Do a long jump.
596. Do a triple jump.
597. Do a pole vault.
598. Play hopscotch.
599. Do a discus throw.
600. Do a hammer throw.
601. Do a javelin throw.
602. Do a shot put.
603. Carry the Olympic torch.
604. Open a high-yield savings account.
605. Go racewalking.
606. Take up ham radio.
607. Go orienteering.
608. Enter a wheelchair race.
609. Play shuffleboard.
610. Twirl a baton.
611. Throw a boomerang.
612. Go bungee jumping.
613. Enter an eating contest.
614. Enter an egg and spoon race.
615. Play hackysack.
616. Go lumberjacking.
617. Go spelunking.
618. Buy a new mattress.
619. Play tetherball.
620. Enter a three-legged race.
621. Enter a sack race.
622. Enter a typing contest.
623. Play pin the tail on the donkey.
624. Play wallball.
625. Take up synchronized swimming.
626. Take up inline speed skating.
627. Take up figure skating.
628. Take up arm wrestling.
629. Take up thumb wrestling.
630. Take up bodybuilding.
631. Take up weightlifting.
632. Take up powerlifting.
633. Take up toe wrestling.
634. Play tug of war.
635. Play air hockey.
636. Play Connect Four.
637. Play dominoes.
638. Play Scrabble.
639. Play Stratego.
640. Play Risk.
641. Play foosball.
642. Play croquet.
643. Play darts.
644. Play horseshoes.
645. Take up knife throwing.
646. Play marbles.
647. Play jacks.
648. Play mini-golf.
649. Play beach handball.
650. Ride a dune buggy.
651. Play beach soccer.
652. Play beach rugby.
653. Join a marching band.
654. Join the circus.
655. Play polo.
656. Join Toastmasters.
657. Play ultimate football.
658. Play fantasy football.
659. Play wheelchair tennis.
660. Play wheelchair rugby.
661. Play wiffle ball.
662. Play flag football.
663. Play touch football.
664. Ride a jet ski.
665. Follow someone on Twitter.
666. Eat a banana.
667. Eat an apple.
668. Eat a pear.
669. Eat an orange.
670. Eat grapes.
671. Eat blueberries.
672. Eat strawberries.
673. Eat a kiwi.
674. Eat a watermelon.
675. Eat a cantaloupe.
676. Eat an apricot.
677. Eat cherries.
678. Eat a plum.
679. Eat a nectarine.
680. Eat a tangerine.
681. Eat blackberries.
682. Eat raspberries.
683. Eat cranberries.
684. Eat gooseberries.
685. Eat non-poisonous honeysuckle berries.
686. Eat mulberries.
687. Eat a coconut.
688. Eat a mango.
689. Eat mangosteen.
690. Eat rhubarb.
691. Eat figs.
692. Eat a honeydew melon.
693. Eat raisins.
694. Eat dates.
695. Eat olives.
696. Eat pomegranate seeds.
697. Eat blood oranges.
698. Eat a clementine.
699. Eat grapefruit.
700. Eat a tangelo.
701. Eat an avocado.
702. Eat a guava.
703. Eat a kumquat.
704. Eat a passion fruit.
705. Eat peanuts.
706. Eat a tomato.
707. Eat cashews.
708. Eat chili peppers.
709. Eat macadamia nuts.
710. Eat a pineapple.
711. Eat a plantain.
712. Eat tofu.
713. Eat squash.
714. Eat beets.
715. Eat broccoli.
716. Eat asparagus.
717. Eat a salad.
718. Eat brussel sprouts.
719. Eat corn.
720. Eat cabbage.
721. Eat lettuce.
722. Eat spinach.
723. Eat endive.
724. Eat peas.
725. Eat turnips.
726. Eat pickles.
727. Eat cucumbers.
728. Eat eggplant.
729. Eat a bell pepper.
730. Eat a cayenne pepper.
731. Eat a chili pepper.
732. Eat zucchini.
733. Eat black-eyed peas.
734. Eat chickpeas.
735. Eat lentils.
736. Eat rice.
737. Eat celery.
738. Eat an onion.
739. Eat a carrot.
740. Eat an artichoke.
741. Eat ginger.
742. Eat a potato.
743. Eat a sweet potato.
744. Eat a radish.
745. Get off caffeine.
746. Eat less sugar.
747. Eat chocolate (but cut back on sugar overall).
748. Eat less processed food.
749. Eat a peach.
750. Eat less meat.
751. Drink less alcohol.
752. Drink more water.
753. Become a vegetarian.
754. Become a vegan.
755. Become a raw foodist.
756. Lower your cholesterol.
757. Lower your blood pressure.
758. Drink orange juice.
759. Eat salmon.
760. Play with a dog.
761. Play with a puppy.
762. Play with a cat.
763. Play with a kitten.
764. Start an ant farm.
765. Look for an alligator.
766. Look for an antelope.
767. Look for an ape.
768. Look for a baboon.
769. Look for a badger.
770. Look for a bat.
771. Look for a bear.
772. Look for a beaver.
773. Look for a bee.
774. Look for a beetle.
775. Look for a bird.
776. Look for a bison.
777. Look for a bluebird.
778. Look for a buffalo.
779. Look for a butterfly.
780. Look for a buzzard.
781. Look for a camel.
782. Look for a caterpillar.
783. Look for a cheetah.
784. Look for a chicken.
785. Look for a cobra.
786. Look for a coyote.
787. Look for a crane.
788. Look for a crocodile.
789. Look for a deer.
790. Look for a dolphin.
791. Look for a donkey.
792. Look for a dove.
793. Look for a duck.
794. Look for a duckling.
795. Look for a eagle.
796. Look for an eel.
797. Look for an elephant.
798. Look for an elk.
799. Look for an emu.
800. Look for a falcon.
801. Look for a ferret.
802. Look for a finch.
803. Look for a fish.
804. Look for a flamingo.
805. Look for a fox.
806. Look for a frog.
807. Look for a tadpole.
808. Look for a gazelle.
809. Look for a gerbil.
810. Look for a giraffe.
811. Look for a goat.
812. Look for a goldfinch.
813. Look for a goose.
814. Look for a gorilla.
815. Look for a guinea pig.
816. Look for a gull.
817. Look for a hamster.
818. Look for a hare.
819. Look for a hawk.
820. Look for a heron.
821. Look for a hippo.
822. Look for a hog.
823. Look for a hornet.
824. Look for a horse.
825. Look for a hummingbird.
826. Look for a hyena.
827. Look for a jackal.
828. Look for a jaguar.
829. Look for a jay.
830. Look for a jellyfish.
831. Look for a kangaroo.
832. Look for a ladybug.
833. Look for a lark.
834. Look for a leopard.
835. Look for a lion.
836. Look for a llama.
837. Look for a lobster.
838. Look for a magpie.
839. Look for a mallard.
840. Look for a manatee.
841. Look for a mink.
842. Look for a mole.
843. Look for a monkey.
844. Look for a moose.
845. Look for a mouse.
846. Look for a mule.
847. Look for a nightingale.
848. Look for an opossum.
849. Look for an ostrich.
850. Look for an otter.
851. Look for an owl.
852. Look for an ox.
853. Look for an oyster.
854. Look for a panda.
855. Look for a panther.
856. Look for a parrot.
857. Look for a partridge.
858. Look for a peafowl.
859. Look for a pelican.
860. Look for a penguin.
861. Look for a pheasant.
862. Look for a pig.
863. Look for a pigeon.
864. Look for a polecat.
865. Look for a pony.
866. Look for a quail.
867. Look for a rabbit.
868. Look for a bunny.
869. Look for a raccoon.
870. Look for a ram.
871. Look for a rat.
872. Look for a raven.
873. Look for a reindeer.
874. Look for a rhinoceros.
875. Look for a sea lion.
876. Look for a sea urchin.
877. Look for a walrus.
878. Look for a shark.
879. Look for a sheep.
880. Look for a skunk.
881. Look for a snake.
882. Look for a sparrow.
883. Look for a squirrel.
884. Look for a swallow.
885. Look for a swan.
886. Look for a tiger.
887. Look for a toad.
888. Look for a tadpole.
889. Look for a turkey.
890. Look for a turtle.
891. Look for a weasel.
892. Look for a whale.
893. Look for a wolf.
894. Look for a wombat.
895. Look for a wren.
896. Look for a yak.
897. Look for a zebra.
898. Play straight poker.
899. Play stud poker.
900. Play draw poker.
901. Play community poker.
902. Play bridge.
903. Play euchre.
904. Play hearts.
905. Play pinochle.
906. Play spades.
907. Play rummy.
908. Play 500 rummy.
909. Play gin rummy.
910. Play gin.
911. Play Mah-Jongg.
912. Play Go Fish.
913. Play Old Maid.
914. Play Crazy Eights.
915. Play Bingo.
916. Play Mao.
917. Play Uno.
918. Play war.
919. Play slapjack.
920. Play Egyptian ratscrew.
921. Play blackjack.
922. Play solitaire.
923. Play FreeCell.
924. Play Seven Up.
925. Play the flute.
926. Play the Irish flute.
927. Play the fife.
928. Play the pipe organ.
929. Play the pan pipes.
930. Play the recorder.
931. Play the slide whistle.
932. Play the tin whistle.
933. Play the piccolo.
934. Play the alto flute.
935. Play the bass flute.
936. Blow a whistle.
937. Play the piccolo clarinet.
938. Play the soprano clarinet.
939. Play the saxonette.
940. Play the basset clarinet.
941. Play the basset horn.
942. Play the alto clarinet.
943. Play the bass clarinet.
944. Play the saxophone.
945. Play the alto saxophone.
946. Play the tenor saxophone.
947. Play the bass saxophone.
948. Play the oboe.
949. Play the bagpipes.
950. Play the bugle.
951. Play the French horn.
952. Play the mellophone.
953. Play the sousaphone.
954. Play the trombone.
955. Play the trumpet.
956. Play the tuba.
957. Play the accordion.
958. Play the harmonica.
959. Play the banjo.
960. Play the clavichord.
961. Play the fiddle.
962. Play the acoustic guitar.
963. Play the electric guitar.
964. Play the harp.
965. Play the harpsichord.
966. Play the lute.
967. Play the mandola.
968. Play the mandolin.
969. Play the piano.
970. Play the viola.
971. Play the violin.
972. Play the piccolo.
973. Play the zither.
974. Play the bass drum.
975. Play the bongo drum.
976. Play the snare drum.
977. Play the steel drum.
978. Play the timpani.
979. Play the triangle.
980. Play the xylophone.
981. Play the castanets.
982. Play the chimes.
983. Play the cowbell.
984. Play the cymbals.
985. Play the glass harmonica.
986. Play the glockenspiel.
987. Play the gong.
988. Play the handbell.
989. Play the maracas.
990. Play the metallophone.
991. Play the rainstick.
992. Play the rattle.
993. Play the spoons.
994. Play the tambourine.
995. Play the vibraphone.
996. Play the electronic organ.
997. Play the electric piano.
998. Play the mellotron.
999. Play the synthesizer.
1000. Play the laser harp.

What are your top 1,000 ways to be happy? Share them in the comments.

I know someone who’s been having fairly serious problems with his back. After he went to see the doctor, he was very happy to tell everyone the good news:

“The doctor said that if I eat right, which I won’t, and exercise, which I won’t, everything will be fine!”

He seemed perfectly content knowing that he had the power to change, if not the desire. Sometimes there’s a psychological difference between having a choice and not having a choice, even if you allow the outcome to be the same.

###

Want to hear the stream of consciousness ramblings of a possibly insane life coach? Then read Tim Brownson’s free ebook Don’t Laugh At The Life Coach. It’s a collection of posts he’s written on his blog, The Discomfort Zone. It’s witty and entertaining, and chock-full of examples of things not to do.

In my post Don’t Label Me!, I talked about whether or not labeling is a good thing. I said that despite their bad reputation, labels are really necessary for communication, and when used in a thoughtful way, they make it much easier to express thoughts. However, when used carelessly, labels can be unhelpful, misleading, or damaging.

Barbara Swafford at Blogging Without A Blog left a comment, saying in part,

“Labels can be destructive, especially when applied to children. Call a child ’shy’ and they begin to believe that. Call a child a ‘loser, good for nothing…’, and they often grow up without direction. But, call a child a ’star’ or ‘outstanding’ or any other positive affirmation, and they often excel.”

I agree. It’s bad enough to use a negative label on an adult, even if they know it’s not true. It’s much worse to use it on a child, who will believe everything they’re told. But tell children how special they are, and there’s no telling how much good it will do.

And this is a perfect segue into a video I came across a few months ago, of someone who understood this perhaps better than anyone…Fred Rogers.

In 1969, the U.S. Senate held hearings about funding for the newly-formed Corporation for Public Broadcasting. A $20 million grant proposed by former president Lyndon Johnson was in jeopardy. President Richard Nixon wanted that amount cut in half. And Mister Rogers had to convince the tough-as-nails Senator John Pastore to give them the money they needed.

What a gift to be able to talk like that and sound so sincere! He turns Senator Pastore from a block of ice to goosebumps in just a few minutes, just by believing that children need to be told they’re special and appreciated and understood. Maybe we should be investing a little more in this kind of stuff.

“I give an expression of care every day to each child, to help him realize that he is unique. I end the program by saying ‘You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.’”
- Fred Rogers

###

In other news, Writer Dad is the winner of my first contest, and he will receive a free copy of Bill Strickland’s Make the Impossible Possible. Congratulations, Writer Dad! I’ll be in touch.

In a 2006 episode of Scrubs (which is tied for the highest-rated episode of the series), Dr. Cox makes a decision that appears to save the day, and then backfires horribly.

Three patients need new organs, and two of them will die within a few hours if they don’t get transplants. Dr. Cox is doing everything he can to find the organs he needs, and he finally gets them when another patient dies of an apparent drug overdose. But after the transplants are made, he learns that the donor actually died of rabies. This means that all three patients are now infected, and the race is on to save them.

Then this happened: (warning - really sad!)

(This episode was based on the true story of three American patients who died in 2004 after receiving transplants from a donor with rabies. The donor died of a brain hemorrhage after smoking crack cocaine, so that was assumed to be the cause of death. Only later was he found to have rabies, which would produce similar symptoms.)

How would you feel if you made the call that caused someone to die? Would you completely shut down, turn to destructive behavior, and let it take over your life? Or would you be able to effectively work through the crisis in the healthiest way possible?

Mary Jaksch explains how to successfully emerge from the darkest moments in her ebook From Tragedy to Triumph: Winning Through a Life Crisis. Unfortunately, bad things can happen when we least expect them. If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my review of her ebook (the previous link) and see if you think it would be helpful to you, now or in the future.

As for Dr. Cox, let’s hear your thoughts. Did he make the right call by ordering the transplants without waiting for an autopsy? Should he have first ordered transplants for the two patients who were about to die, but waited on the third one? If he made the wrong call, is it forgivable? The third patient was his friend. Does this make a difference, or is a life a life? When deciding whether to quit practicing medicine, is it more important to consider his past mistake or the good he could do in the future?

Have you ever experienced a life crisis, one that threatened to cripple you with fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, or stress? Mary Jaksch did last year, when an unscrupulous builder cheated her out of a six-figure sum and left her future in jeopardy.

Fortunately for Mary though, she had the benefit of being a psychotherapist and Zen master. She knew a way of getting through her crisis that was a lot healthier than what most of us would have done. After all, she’s helped many people work through the worst times in their lives, showing them how to recover and be happy again. And now she’s showing us how to do just that in her ebook.

The five steps of healing that Mary covers are acceptance, presence, action, forgiveness, and integration. Mary goes into detail on how to move through each step, using examples of people she knows who have successfully recovered from a crisis.

And speaking of these examples, be warned that they are pretty brutal and depressing. If you’d be bothered by reading about things like a 26-year old girl being knifed and stoned to death, then that’s something to consider. However, in the other reviews I’ve read, no one else has mentioned this, so maybe it’s just me.

I figure that the best way to use an ebook like this is not to wait until you’re in the middle of a life crisis, but to read it beforehand and then refer to it when you need it. It’s like car insurance: you hope you never need it, but it’s sure better to be prepared, isn’t it?

This ebook is 42 pages, beautifully laid out and illustrated, and it even comes with an audio version at no extra cost. It’s really cheap at only $12.50, and there’s an affiliate program that pays 40%.

From Tragedy to Triumph shows you how to reclaim your life after a family death, job loss, divorce, serious health issue, etc. You’ll learn how to:

Overcome fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, and stress.

Use proven feel-better strategies.

Rid yourself of obsessive thoughts.

Free yourself from hate, resentment, and bitterness.

Find forgiveness.

Return to your normal life happy and free of worry.

Discover new meaning in life.

Whether you’re currently going through a life crisis, or you want to know how to reclaim your life if one happens, From Tragedy to Triumph will help you find your way through the healing process.

Photo by Hamed Masoumi

In a post about gratitude and independence, Akemi Gaines talks about a few things, including a conversation she had with her inner child that was too adorable not to link to. Akemi and her inner child were in a grocery store after receiving $400 of dream money. In part, their conversation went like this:

Her inner child: Hey, I want that big flat of strawberries!
Her adult self: Amm . . . this dream money is for something nice, not about getting groceries.
Her inner child: But I want to eat all those strawberries! Lots and lots of them. I don’t want dinner, I want to eat all the berries.
Her adult self: Well . . .
Her inner child: You only get me that small tub from time to time. I want lots of strawberries, blackberries, blueberries . . .
Her adult self: You are right. . . well, maybe we can split the $400 and get some berries . . .

And Jerry Seinfeld’s inner child showed itself to be alive and well when he said this:

But I have to say I enjoy adulthood. I enjoy the fact that now, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie. Okay? I have three cookies or four cookies or eleven cookies if I want. What was the big deal with the cookies? “Not before dinner.” “Not too many.” “You’ve had enough.” “Not now.” Well, now I’m a grown-up, give me the cookies! Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. Beyond recognition. Then I call my mother up right after it to tell her. “Hello Mom? I just ruined my entire appetite…cookies.”

When was the last time you indulged your inner child? Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to ruin your appetite, run in the halls, color outside the lines, or something of that sort. Then tell us what you did!

Six months ago, I heard about A Complaint Free World, a movement started by Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Missouri. It turns out that most people complain 15-30 times a day, which fills us with a lot of negative energy for no reason. Bowen’s church is taking on the problem by distributing purple complaint free bracelets like the one above.

Some scientists believe that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit, so the idea is to go for 21 days without complaining. You put the bracelet on and start counting the days. Whenever you complain, gossip, or criticize, you move the bracelet to the other wrist, and start again at day 0. It usually takes people 4-10 months to go for 21 days without complaining, but then they find their lives more enjoyable.

The Complaint Free FAQ defines complaining as “expressing pain, grief, or discontent,” and says that thinking a complaint doesn’t count if you don’t say it. But another page says that complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a deficiency or a mistake so that it can be put right, and not complaining doesn’t mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. You can see how the rules are a bit vague.

I first heard about this from Tim Ferriss, who took 3 months to make it to 21 days in a row without complaining. Since he believes in constructive criticism, his definition of complaining is “describing an event or person negatively without indicating next steps to fix the problem.”

The bracelets used to be free, and they just asked for donations from those who were able to pay. But they ran into many problems: postage costs nearly doubling, duplicate requests (because they were so backed up and people were impatient), very large requests without donations (thousands of people requested 10,000, 25,000, and even 250,000 bracelets without a donation), and fraudulent requests that wasted postage (one person wrote that he wanted to “see if you are stupid enough to send them”). When that happened, they discarded all open requests and asked people to request them again, with a limit of 3 bracelets per request (though larger quantities could be purchased). Now you can order 2 free bracelets (with $0.75 shipping), or you can buy 5 for $5.

I ordered 3 for my family in September, and then re-ordered them when asked to, but they haven’t arrived yet (not that I’m complaining). However, when I first found Clay Collins at The Growing Life, I noticed he was wearing a purple bracelet in his picture. I asked him about it, and he was generous enough to send me one of his extra bracelets! (Now don’t go flooding him with requests, because he probably doesn’t have any more.)

I started wearing the bracelet a week ago, and the results have been…well, I can’t finish that without complaining. I’ve had to switch the bracelet several times per day. Only once have I gone for 24 hours without complaining, and that was on the weekend. I’m very surprised by this, because I don’t think of myself as a complainer. But I see that I make a lot of mini-complaints, like telling my computer to hurry up when it freezes just trying to open Notepad.

I’m still early in the trial though, and I’m bound to get better. Even Rev. Bowen himself took three and a half months to finish 21 days. I’ll post an update when I finish, but don’t expect that anytime soon.

You can order your bracelets from A Complaint Free World right now, and simply use a rubber band until they arrive. A rubber band may not be glamorous, but it’s not like the bracelets emit some kind of anti-complaint radiation. And if you notice someone else complaining, you can tell them to switch their bracelet, but the rules specifically say that means you have to switch yours. Let me know if you’re able to complete this challenge for a complaint free world.