The Secret Of Indestructible Confidence
December 18th, 2011
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Dirk de Bruin (perhaps better known on the internet as Diggy) has released his Confidence Black Book, a complete 30-day guide to becoming a more confident person in all areas of life.
I had initially assumed that it was about dating, but it really has a much broader scope, covering diet, exercise, relationships, career, and other things. In short, it’s about conquering limiting beliefs that stand in the way of increased happiness, success, and goal achievement.
I appreciate that he based the book on his own personal experiences, as he spent seven years learning how to build confidence and the kind of life he wants to live. That’s how he can say for certain that his stuff works, because he used it all himself.
While I thought he had a lot of good insights in the book, I cheated by skipping the 30 daily tasks he gives. (Tip: don’t do this!) I also skipped over the bonuses (12 motivational videos and an NLP visualization method video, so there’s even more value than meets the eye.
He’s set up an opt-in page to a series of free videos with tips and insight into becoming more confident. I haven’t seen them, but if you want the secret to indestructible confidence, you know what to do.
December 19th, 2011 at 8:31 pm
The secret of absolute confidence is realizing that nothing — yes, I said nothing — is about myself. Whatever anyone says about me is about themselves, not me. Whatever I think about myself is about my ego thinking, not about true me. Realizing this lifts stress. In fact, when you really understand this, you don’t even need confidence. Confidence only reinforces ego. (but it’s okay to play with ego for the time being, if you want)
December 19th, 2011 at 9:10 pm
@ Akemi, in a way, we don’t need anything at all. I could decide that I don’t need water, knowing that it was only my ego being dehydrated and not the true me. But I think most people are happy to let the ego run the show most of the time.
BTW, do you have a good post about the ego, what it’s for, what it’s not for? Is it earth-bound, or does it cross over?
December 19th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Hunter, you are being funny, right? You need water for survival, not for ego enhancement.
I haven’t written a post on the ego — there are plenty of articles on it out there. Here is a short — ego is not really an entity. We talk about the ego as if it were some kind of entity with personality, but the ego is really just a function of our mind pretending to be a person. So it is not earth-bound nor cross over or anything, it really isn’t there, and the fake image disappear when we die.
December 21st, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Btw back to the issue of confidence. Next time when someone criticize you, stare them in the eye. You will see their anxiety, frustration, or even fear. At this point, you can have mercy on them and forgive them.
Confidence built on personal achievement is fragile, no matter how great the achievement may be. Understanding why you don’t even need confidence is liberating.
December 21st, 2011 at 9:07 pm
@ Akemi, now I can’t wait to try that!