Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York
December 7th, 2009
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65 million years ago, an asteroid slammed into what would become the town of Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York. It left a thick layer of atmospheric dust that would shroud the world in darkness for 1,000 years. But it also left something else…
Now, in the final countdown to the Mayan-prophesied doomsday of 2012, a series of mysterious occurrences signals that the end is near. In a frantic race against the clock, mesothelioma lawyer Jack Crowley will risk everything to find the truth, knowing he is the last hope of saving the world from unspeakable evil.
My first novel is now available to be read online, for free. As you can see, it’s a 2012 doomsday novel revolving around a lawyer in an unknown town in New York. Before we go any further,
1. I’m aware that the asteroid really landed in Mexico, not New York. This is explained in the book.
2. I’m aware that the Mayans didn’t really predict the end of the world in 2012. This is explained too.
I’m not sure what genre this is, but it’s something like an apocalyptic thriller parody. Here are some selected characters:
Jack Crowley: A successful New York mesothelioma attorney at the law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. He’s sick of all the 2012 hype, and he thought today would be just like any other. He was wrong.
Milli Vanilli Chilli Willi: A prominent mesothelioma physician who seems capable of anything. But can she cure the mother of all cancers?
Frank Breadstick: A bright-eyed paralegal whose good intentions are often compromised by his poor judgment. Will he be more of an asset than a liability?
Count Voldemort Sidious Hitler the Terrible (Morty): Senior partner at Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. Mesothelioma law is his life. Does he know more than he’s letting on?
Kentucky Jones (Tuck): Part archaeologist, part New Age thinker, part cowboy. Can he decrypt the important clues left by past civilizations?
Ivana Suyurass: A fierce lawyer with a fiery temper, she usually gets what she wants. Why is she showing a sudden interest in certain people?
Plenty O’Lawsuits: A young lawyer new to the firm. Will she find mesothelioma law to be the calling she hopes it is?
Teflon Tyrone: He doesn’t talk much, but you wouldn’t want to run into him in a dark alley. So what happens when someone makes that mistake?
Feel free to leave comments noting any typos, inconsistencies, plot holes, etc. that you find. All suggestions will be considered for inclusion in future revisions. (I’m aware that some of the links point to blank pages, and I’ll be working on this soon.) Other than that, just sit back and see what happens on this eventful December 20, 2012.
Right now, an evil cancer is threatening to end the world.
The only ones who can stop it are mysteriously disappearing.
And people I work with may be involved in both.
I’m mesothelioma lawyer Jack Crowley,
and today is the longest day of my life.
Read Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York, before it’s too late!
December 8th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Umm… you read “Ignore Everybody”, right?
The novel sounds very much like you. I’m not a big fiction reader, but I’ll try to get around it.
December 8th, 2009 at 8:02 am
I have a blog, Online Novels, http://online-novels.blogspot.com/ with the names, descriptions and web addresses of several hundred free novels available on the internet; please let me know if I may include a link to your book, Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York.
Thank you.
Sincerely, Susan Crealock
December 9th, 2009 at 7:22 am
@ Akemi, did I ignore them enough?
@ Susan, sure you can link to it. Thanks!
December 9th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Hey, I just noticed you updated the tagline of this blog.
Polymath Hunter Nuttall — who can write in both hands, juggle, write parody songs, write novels, make hilarious computer programs, and discuss spirituality… Sounds cool to me.
December 10th, 2009 at 1:37 am
@ Akemi, I changed that recently, but haven’t written about it yet. Thanks for the summary of me.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:14 am
Cool, I just changed my “Tagline” on my Blog too. It’s now “Internet Marketing for Inspired Entrepreneurs”.
I like your idea of focusing on Polymaths.
-Paul
December 11th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I’m sure I missed a few
December 11th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@ Paul, I like your tagline. Our taglines are a big part of our first impression, our mini elevator pitch. So I think it’s important to choose them carefully, and refine them as needed.
@ Akemi, yeah, you forgot “gratuitous eater of bananas!”
June 24th, 2010 at 12:01 am
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