Blogger’s Paradise
February 23rd, 2009
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(To the tune of Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio)
As I search for new blogs like a stoner on meth
I take a look at them all
And realize there’s nothin’ left
‘Cause I’ve been subscribing to blogs for so long
That even Google Reader thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain’t never run a post that didn’t deserve it
A self-respecting spammer, you know that’s unheard of
You betta watch your homies who assisted, see if they’re twisted
Or you might find one day that your blog’s been delisted
I really hate to say I told you so
As they go, I see myself at a new plateau, fool
I’m the white hat G that little bloggers wanna be like
Down with every rule in sight
Goin’ for the A-list in my own right
We been spending most our lives
Living in a blogger’s paradise
Approving comments if they’re nice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
I got hate mail once or twice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
I’m on the net like white on rice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
Look at the situation they got me facin’
Caught up in a fad that swept across the nation
I can’t get down with the hyped-up schemes
Too many pics of AdSense checks got me chasing dreams
I’m a educated fool with ideas on my mind
But I gotta stash some cash to escape from the grind
I got a Thesis-tricked, plugin-pimped, WordPress-whacked banger
And I hate comment spam, so don’t arouse my anger, fool
Failure ain’t never more than one post away
And every niche gets more crowded, day after day
I’ve got one thousand readers now
But will I ever see two
The way things is goin’ I don’t know
Tell me why are we
So blind to see
That the blogosphere
Ain’t meant to be?
We been spending most our lives
Living in a blogger’s paradise
The haters can be cold as ice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
It’s all empty bits and bytes
Living in a blogger’s paradise
It’s like Twitter but less concise
Living in a blogger’s paradise
Content brings the traffic
Traffic brings the power
Minute after minute
Hour after hour
Everybody’s bloggin’, but most of them ain’t tryin’
Half of them are trippin’, half of them are lyin’
They say I gotta drop 2 Gs
For them to wanna teach me
If I don’t ever trust them, how can they reach me?
I guess they can’t
I guess they won’t
I guess they front
That’s why I know my blog is out of luck, fool
We been spending most our lives
Living in a blogger’s paradise
AdSense slashed my per click price
Living in a blogger’s paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
The odds are worse than Vegas dice
Living in a blogger’s paradise
Tell me why are we
So blind to see
That the blogosphere
Ain’t meant to be?
Tell me why are we
So blind to see
That the blogosphere
Ain’t meant to be?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
Hi Hunter,
Wow, this is amazing. You are such a creative person. You had me cracking up at this. Its definitely worth spreading around the interwebs.
Cheers,
Jeremy
Jeremy Day´s last blog post..Going through a lull…
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
How creative you are. You have made me smile and laugh so hard this morning.
Jeremy thank you for sending this to me. It has made a very cold Monday lighten up.
Cheers
Bunny got Blog´s last blog post..What Do You Read When Reading The News?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
Very nice! This is the way to start off my Monday morning!
Jim Gaudet´s last blog post..A Realist Take on The Secret and The Law of Attraction
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:37 am
“It’s like Twitter but less concise”
GENIUS and downright hilarious. Love. It. Hunter, I can’t tell you how awesome this is. Awesome. AWESOME.
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog post..Carnival of Personal Development
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Great! I loved it
Dragos Roua´s last blog post..Trip To Thailand – Day 1
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
AMAZING. I’m happy for any excuse to listen to this song again, and I’m shamelessly delighted that you’ve created this nutty take on it
Zoe´s last blog post..Push Ahead With What You Have: A Video
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Mr. Nuttall, I thoroughly enjoyed this.
You’re not contemplating quitting, right??
Vered – MomGrind´s last blog post..The Joys Of Parenthood
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Thanks, everyone. At first I was like “Really, no one’s going to comment?” Then I found that WordPress wasn’t emailing me the comment notifications for some reason. So I’m glad you liked it.
@ Vered, I was wondering if people would think it was autobiographical. Notice I don’t have Thesis, so I can’t be the narrator.
But no, I’m definitely not quitting.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Hi Hunter,
You DA MAN! That Gansta rhyme is uebercool and had me rolling on the floor in hysterics. Very creative indeed and it even makes a lot of sense (unlike so many rap songs these days).
Thumbs up!
Monika Mundell´s last blog post..The Best Way To Anchor Correctly
February 24th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Brilliant Hunter! You made me LMAO! Ahh how I relate and I was just sifting through my never ending google reader entries when I found this gem! Thanks Hunter!
Love,
Jenny
Jenny Mannion´s last blog post..Interview with James Sinclair, Director of “What If?” Part II
February 24th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Good. I was worried!
Vered – MomGrind´s last blog post..Antibacterial Products Are Dangerous. PLEASE Stop Using Them.
February 24th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
@ Monika, some sense, yes, but not completely. Like I never understood why it’s “so blind to see” instead of “too blind to see.” Doesn’t that have the opposite meaning? Anyway, glad you liked it!
@ Jenny, I thought you might like it because you mentioned a few rap songs before. Glad I didn’t disappoint!
@ Vered, fear not.
February 25th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Hey Hunter,
Didn’t disappoint at all!
Funny, every time I have heard a “positive rap song” since your post I have thought of you…. there are a lot…. but I also realized a lot of the songs I was thinking of could be categorized more reggae/world/hiphop music like Shaggy who has a number of wonderfully uplifting songs “Strength of a woman” is one of my favorites 
. Also, I didn’t get my daughter dancing to MJ yet on video but I got her first comedy performance on video I thought you’d get a kick out of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN7EyyVYUoU
Nice to hear you will continue blogging! You have quite a comfy spot here!
I also LOVED your post on Steve Pavlina’s games – my other blog is about kid’s games and it is my other passion — so VERY cool to have those links and check them out – THANK YOU! I had heard he created them but had no clue what they were.
Ok Hunter — could stay here all day but gotta get on with the responsibilities that come with a “blogger’s paradise”!
Love,
Jenny
February 25th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
You getting all lyrical now, Hunter? I don’t know the Gangster song, so I can only imagine, but I’d say you are being very creative! I was a bit worried you were depressed, actually, until I read the other comments. Cheers!
February 25th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
@ Jenny, adorable video.
Regarding Steve’s games – Dweep is his, but Lolo is not. Because the full version of Dweep isn’t out there anymore, I just wanted to point to a similar game that was. Otherwise people would get frustrated when they finished the 5 levels of the Dweep trial and wanted more. They’re both great games, and making a non-violent game that entertaining must be really tough.
@ Robin, I guess someone who doesn’t know that song would perceive this very differently. Coolio’s version is a depressing song about how awful his world is. The lyrics in my version are very similar, but the joke is that blogging isn’t really something you’d compare to growing up with gangsters. Weird Al did a parody called “Amish Paradise,” where the joke was the mismatch between Amish and gangster life. Oh, and Stevie Wonder wrote the original, “Pastime Paradise,” which is very uplifting.
February 26th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Hi Hunter: He, he
Do a YouTube video of you reciting this 
Yes, two smiley faces on the same comment, this was awesome.
February 26th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
@ Marelisa, maybe someday.
February 27th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I agree with Marelisa. You place the video on You Tube, we will all send it to our peeps and tweets. That’s all you gotta do to live in a blogger’s paradise. Are you trying to tell me I won’t become rich from my blog?
Stacey / Create a Balance´s last blog post..What Are Your Intentions?
February 27th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I’m not familiar with the original song, but I second Marelisa.
Damn, and you insist you have no talent? You still subscribe to the fantasy of starving on the street??
Add that to the credit of your YouTube video. . .
Akemi – Yes to Me´s last blog post..Spiritual Self Protection And Clearing
February 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am
@ Stacey, do you want to play the part of Michelle Pfeiffer in the video?
@ Akemi, I meant talent that mattered in terms of making a living. Yeah, I can write parody lyrics, and it can be entertaining, but it’s not something people pay for. I don’t really think I’ll starve on the street, because there will always be jobs. Starving on the street is just an image that people can understand when you’re explaining why you need income.
February 28th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
ROFL – This is brilliant Hunter. Did you ever think about giving song writing a go?
Whether you give up blogging or not – I really hope you don’t give up writing.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
@ Cath, that’s what one of my high school teachers said – don’t give up writing. I won’t, and I’m not giving up blogging either.