Being Emphatically Wishy-Washy
December 12th, 2008
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Photo by Mike Babcock
I started off writing another post on ROWE, about the issue of whether jobs require our physical presence during core hours.
On my post ROWE Vs. TOWE, Dot at Deeper Issues commented:
“I say it depends on the business. If all the business’s clients start their day at 8:30, then 9:00 doesn’t work. Also, when people start being late, morale falls.
ROWE is an attractive concept to people who don’t like the 9-to-5, but it’s not for everyone. So many Internet entrepreneurs make the assumption that all employees are potential entrepreneurs, or at least are high-level white collar workers. If your job is answering your boss’s phone, for example, and your boss gets in at 8:30, then for you to arrive at 9:00 is going to mess up his day and possibly miss out on clients who call while he’s on the phone with someone else. If you’re the boss, on the other hand, it may matter less when you get in.”
As I started writing, I realized I needed a full post just to respond to her claim that “so many Internet entrepreneurs make the assumption that all employees are potential entrepreneurs.” So let’s talk about that now, and revisit the 9-5 another time.
The “entrepreneur assumption” is an objection I see all the time about Robert Kiyosaki’s extremely pro-entrepreneur attitude. The critics say that not everyone is supposed to be an entrepreneur; if everyone were an entrepreneur, who would teach kids, cook meals, give haircuts, etc?
But I don’t think anyone is saying that EVERYONE is a potential entrepreneur. Or that everyone is anything, really. People have their opinions, and they’re either just writing what they want to say, or they’re writing for other people like them, or they’re writing for people they want to convince.
It might be less objectionable if they stuck in some qualifiers and were less assertive, but that would also water down their message. The same way that “I’m gonna bust a cap in yo ass” is potentially less accurate than “I reserve the right to bust a cap in a body part of yours yet to be determined,” but it gets the point across much better.
I’m actually somewhere in the middle of the qualifying your words debate. Some people deliberately state their opinions as facts to challenge people to either agree or disagree with them, while others choose their words carefully to avoid offending people.
I’m somewhere in between. While I don’t want to say anything that’s so oversimplified as to be irresponsible, I also assume that my readers are either somewhat like me, or at least they want to hear my opinion. Without any assumptions, nothing would ever get done.
Right now, I’m being awfully bold in assuming that my readers speak English. I just jumped right in, making no attempt to ask if English is an acceptable language to use, and making no apology for doing so.
OK, that’s a pretty basic assumption, and I think everyone can forgive me for making it. What about things that aren’t so agreeable?
I started blogging shortly after reading Steve Pavlina’s 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job, which I really liked and wanted to write my own version of. But I can’t honestly say that no one should ever get a job, because, um…we need to buy stuff. So I wrote Top 10 Reasons Not To Have A Job, which got the point across without being so blunt. I even followed it up with Top 10 Reasons To Have A Job for some balance, even though I had a hard time coming up with 10 reasons.
Some people might say this was far too wishy-washy. I would almost agree, except I think some balance is needed on this topic. I get sick of all the people saying that jobs are for suckers, while ignoring the odds against success as an entrepreneur.
However, I’m not always going to be this balanced, because it would take forever and be too boring. Sometimes we need to be direct. Let me give it a try: George W. Bush was by far the worst president in U.S. history, and he did unspeakable damage to the country. I’d call him evil, except he’s too dumb to be evil on purpose. He makes Sarah Palin look like Marilyn vos Savant.
Now that comment was a little one-sided. I didn’t even attempt to point out his good qualities, and this would get more complaints than a more balanced assessment would. But a personal political blog with strong opinions is far more likely to be popular than one that plays it safe.
At the same time, the comment I made about Bush was still relatively safe. Bush is pretty unpopular, and let’s be honest, he’s a glorified rodeo clown. So not too many people will be offended here.
You want something that’s offensive? Try Steve Pavlina’s 10 Reasons You Should Never Have a Religion. It’s very controversial to say the least, and it’s arguable whether it helped him more than it hurt him. I would never write something like that, even if I agreed with it. Too great a risk of offending innocent people, without enough benefit to offset that.
But I’ve taken a stand at times. I’ve said you’d have to be crazy to want a job, even though that’s not perfectly accurate or applicable to everyone. Then again, I wouldn’t necessarily rule out the possibility of posting things I don’t even agree with, just for the sake of showing multiple sides of the story.
Sometimes, the real answer doesn’t seem to be reducible to a simple yes or no. On the other hand, we want to see people take a stand and have an opinion already!
What do you think? Be opinionated and direct, or balanced and gentle? Please state your opinion as an absolute certainty, and say that everyone who disagrees with you is a communist.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:05 am
Hi Hunter – First, thank you for the link. I think it depends on the topic. If someone is dishing out that which could be construed as medical advice (for example), then the information should be accurate and well researched. However, with that being said, disclaimers should also be in place.
If it’s a topic that has a lot of variables, you’ll received comments from those with differing opinions. For me, I prefer to open the door to those types of comments. They not only teach me to open my mind and see the bigger picture, but they help others to expand their knowledge base. For that reason, I prefer to be balanced and gentle. But, you already knew that, didn’t you?
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..Ready, Aim – Focus!
December 12th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Hi Hunter – I think it takes a certain kind of personality to do “prickly” with success. You’re going to ruffle some feathers when you do, and it won’t matter to a swashbuckler. Others prefer to be liked, or have been conditioned to make nice. Finessing an opinionated stance is something to which we all can aspire as writers, while being true to our voice.
Having fought my share of down and dirty battles in political chatrooms and email lists starting about 15 years ago, I let a lot more things go nowadays than I used to, and I try (don’t always succeed) to be more neutral. Some say provocative things purely for the sake of it, and others truly don’t realize they do at all. Perhaps they’re not tuned into their audience?
The online magnifier distorts these tendencies, because we’re using our own sensitive lens. I’ve also observed that certain opinions hold cache for a time, and then the thundering herd moves onto the next collective opinion. So there’s hope for old George W.
One reliable over the years has been the comment provocateur. It must be a very lonely bridge under which some of these trolls live. I see a big difference between lively debate and downright ugly. Setting the stage in one’s own blog encourages or discourages that kind of thing. I firmly believe one is entitled to throw someone out of one’s house at any time, for any reason.
Betsy Wuebker´s last blog post..BRIGHTLY SHONE THE MOON THAT NIGHT…
December 12th, 2008 at 9:02 am
I’m with you Hunter.
How many times have I clicked through a blog title like “Why you have maggots growing in your intestines and how they are slowly killing you” to find out in the first line that ‘hey, I don’t mean you literally have maggots, it’s just a metaphor, and it’s a catchy title, and it most definitely works because here you are…’ I used to feel duped, but now it has happened so many times it is cliché.
The world is too sensationalized as it is. Turn on CNN on any given day, and you’ll see something about “America on the Brink”. The brink of war, the brink of financial collapse, the brink of hurricane disaster, the brink of being poisoned by cheap drugs from that third-world country Canada…
I’m with you. You can be compelling without being over the top. Have a viewpoint, make a statement, but keep it real. I’m tired of being on the brink. Give me something that will make me feel happy, not less scared.
~Graham
Graham Strong´s last blog post..Why Your Ideas Are All Wet…
December 12th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Thanks for all the link love lately, Hunter. I really wanted to comment that I have no opinion on this.
However, me not having an opinion is like the sun not rising. Actually, I was only pointing out that ROWE wouldn’t work in all situations. Personally, I long for ROWE, I would give a lot for ROWE, I sometimes wish I could retire just to be able to work in a ROWE situation. Loving your posts lately, and not just because you mention my name so much. 
Dot´s last blog post..How to Get Published
December 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am
I was thinking about you, Hunter, when I was reading Steve’s recent posts on how to make money in recession by creating and delivering value and what it is to create strong value. In the latter article, he insists to make your point — in other words, to not to be wishy wasy. Because wishy washy doesn’t deliver much value.
I mostly agree with Steve (yes, my blog will have a stronger edge!), but at the same time, I was thinking about your blog and why I like it.
You deliver different kind of value. I hope you don’t take offense about this, but I don’t read your blog to get another personal development tips. I know all the tips you discuss (except about SEO and tech stuff). But I like your blog because you have a way to lighten up my mood. I LOVE your sense of humor. That is value.
It doesn’t matter whether you take what you call a “strong tone” as you say in this post. You are still funny.
Now think about it. In this stressful time, is delivering a few moments of smile valuable? Absolutely. Steve doesn’t make me smile, and I don’t go there to smile. I go there to learn. Two different objectives.
Akemi – Yes to Me´s last blog post..Ideal Death And More On Life And Death
December 12th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Hi Hunter – some clever shite silicon valley guy was posting on his blog, a while ago, about how to attract visitors. I said it was good to offend folk now and again. He replied that I should never offend people. He was so patronizing that I told him to go and f… himself.
I think if you’re always trying to please folk – they’ll get bored with what they’re reading. They might think they want to be pleased all the time, but deep down they don’t.
Cath Lawson´s last blog post..I’m Not A Bloody Fortune Teller But….
December 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I tend to err on the side of “balanced and gentle”, online and offline. It just feels right. I’m not looking to offend people and when I realize that I have, I feel really bad.
Vered – MomGrind´s last blog post..Most Flattering Jeans
December 12th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
@Cath,
Luv you.
Akemi – Yes to Me´s last blog post..Gratitude For Healing Water, Online Gratitude Journal #19
December 13th, 2008 at 2:12 am
@ Barbara, I guess we have to decide how far we want to leave the door open. It depends on whether you’re more interested in making a point or hearing everyone’s opinions.
@ Betsy, there’s definitely a difference between lively debate and downright ugly. While I’ve had to delete some comments on my blog, I’ve only had to throw one person out of my house (a spammer who was getting through the filter).
@ Graham, I really don’t like misleading headlines. I guess I might have done some, but hopefully not the kind that will get someone’s hopes up. I don’t even like to say “how to” unless I can back it up with a real solution instead of just some tips.
@ Dot, the link love is just because of your great comments! I’ll return to ROWE again soon, and we’ll see if we can do something about making it mainstream.
@ Akemi, thanks. Yes, I read those posts by Steve. I’m going to return to your comments in another post about value.
@ Cath, I almost completely agree, except doesn’t Barbara try to please people all the time? And yet, we keep going back for more. Maybe there’s room for a few nice people out there.
@ Vered, I’ve noticed that. Even when you point out hideous fashion mistakes, you do it very politely.
I don’t think you need to feel too bad about offending people, if it’s unintentional.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:20 am
I write the way I am mostly! I’m blogging like twice a week and in between writing my posts, I am doing blog commenting. I have to be myself!
I do have my own opinions on things but I do not think it right that I impose my views on others. On my blog, in fact, the things I share more often than not go against the conventional grain of thinking and beliefs. Still, I hope to be balanced and fair, because I can see that everyone is speaking from their own paradigm. I also do not see any point in offending others with my alternative views. I’d rather be hanging out with like-minded folks!
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Affirm Universal Truths For Financial Abundance
December 13th, 2008 at 2:47 am
@ Evelyn, I know you write the way you are, making your view known without imposing on others. But the way I am is variable, which makes it hard to decide on a way to write!
December 13th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Great, interesting article Hunter.
I too often assume that everyone wants to be an entrepreneur, and often I am disheartened when I find that that is not always the case. ‘Why wouldn’t youwant to be an entrepreneur?’ is always the question in my mind, but then again I know that it is not plausible or desirable for most people to run their own business. And besides, it’s hard as hell!!!
Conrad Hees´s last blog post..San Diego, A Dick, Individuality, and Some Introspection
December 14th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I think it goes back to personality type. When I was more of an ENTJ I didn’t worry about offending anyone and wasn’t concerned with their feelings. Not so much anymore. I would like to be more like that but I seem to have developed a sympathy/empathy gene that I can’t get rid of. I think it makes me wishy washy. I don’t like seeing all sides of the story and sympathy for it all.
December 15th, 2008 at 2:48 am
@ Conrad, and yet, many people have no interest in being an entrepreneur even before they know it’s hard as hell!
@ Carol, sorry, I don’t know how to get rid of your sympathy gene.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:04 am
@Hunter — I wasn’t really suggesting you — I hope that’s not the impression I gave! My point was that it is important to have a strong headline, but it is easy enough to do that without sensationalizing it. I think that too much these days, people are going for “shock and awe”. Which is fine, except when you cross over into “misleading and almost lying”.
Writing is about connecting with your readers. If you irk them from the start with a misleading headline, you may get their attention but you won’t get their trust.
~Graham
Graham Strong´s last blog post..Why Your Ideas Are All Wet…
December 15th, 2008 at 9:31 am
ALWAYS make an emphatic statement. No one will hear you and/or it won’t count if you don’t. To solidify my point, I’ll leave you with my FAVORITE quote and THE BEST COMMERCIAL IN THE WORLD.
Quote: “No woman ever made history by being well-behaved.”
Commercial (Apple, Think Different): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE
December 16th, 2008 at 1:01 am
@ Graham, no, I didn’t think you meant me. Shock and awe does get tiring after a while, doesn’t it?
@ Caroline, that quote makes a good point. But also, you can make good history or bad history.
December 17th, 2008 at 3:11 am
Hi Hunter – I saw your comment to Catherine and took it as a compliment. I do hope there is room for “nice people”. And, thank you for continually coming back for more.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..BTW Your BFF Is ROTFL @ Your SERPs
December 18th, 2008 at 1:37 am
@ Barbara, yes, there’s room for nice people. You could even say it’s an underserved niche!