Have You Been Infected With The Critic Virus?
November 24th, 2008
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Image from I Am Legend (2007)
I Am Legend is about a just-around-the-corner future where they find a cure for cancer by genetically re-engineering the measles virus. But the virus mutates into an airborne strain with catastrophic results.
90% of the world’s population is killed.
9% mutate into evil vampire zombies like the one above. They’re extremely hostile, have superhuman strength, and have a one-track mind focused on killing people. Fortunately, they can only come out at night because of their painful sensitivity to ultraviolet radiation.
(The pic comes from the alternate ending where they all decide to become friends. You can see the love in their eyes.)
1% are immune to the virus. This sounds good, until you consider that these people have to constantly defend themselves from hordes of evil vampire zombies.
That’s how it goes with critics too. I’m not talking about people who simply have different opinions, but people who tell you that you need to change. There seems to be some kind of airborne critic virus that affects people differently.
90% of your critics are dead to constructive criticism. They can only offer completely useless feedback like “you suck.”
9% of your critics are mutants who retain some of their humanity, but aren’t helpful. This can be because they have unreasonable demands, or they’re not seeing all sides of the situation, or maybe they simply have opinions that are perfectly valid, just being expressed in an overly confrontational way. Unfortunately, ultraviolet light does not deter them.
In Ode To My Hatemail, Naomi Dunford gives a long list of complaints she’s received about Online Business School. These complaints are not only really picky, but they contradict each other.
Some people complained that they hate audio, and want it all to be video. Others complained that they hate video, and want it all to be audio. And others complained that they hate PDFs, and wonder why she thinks people are deaf and need transcripts. This is the thanks she gets for making everything available in different formats to make everyone happy.
But 1% of your critics are the people you need to listen to. No one is perfect, and there are always things we can do better. When someone offers good constructive advice, we should listen. But how do you know who to listen to?
You might not, at first. It might take some time for the advice to sink in, or you might need to hear it from multiple people. But what you want to look for is people who know what they’re talking about, understand your situation, and want to help you.
But sometimes after fighting off so many of the bad critics, we fail to recognize the good ones. Robert Neville (Will Smith) survived by only going out in the daylight, covering his tracks with rubbing alcohol, rigging his property with UV spotlights and explosives, and sleeping in a bathtub with his assault rifle. Not much of a life. By the time he finally met another immune person, he had forgotten how to be human.
Don’t hide from your critics, just know who to pay attention to. Also be careful when you’re the critic.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Hi Hunter – I heard that someone sent back Naomi’s course today because there wasn’t enough swearing in it. Some people just can’t be pleased by anything. And as you say, you need to know which ones to ignore and which ones to listen to.
I had a customer with a problem – we put it right immediately and he still called Trading Standards. They said he was on the phone to them almost every day complaining about different businesses.
November 24th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Hunter,
It is REALLY hard to sort the “valid” criticisms from the “invalid” ones. When they’re all pelting you like freezing rain, it’s especially hard to tell the valid from the invalid. It makes it even harder when some of the criticism is just being flung in an effort to shine the spotlight from you onto the critic.
There are a lot of people online who are taking pot shots at bloggers trying to “steal” the limelight. I hate it when I see it happening on other blogs. Naomi’s blog is a prime example. Fortunately, the atmosphere is cozy and warm around here!
Kathy – Virtual Impax´s last blog post..When You Hear Hemp, Do you Think “Rope” or “Dope”?
November 24th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Hi Hunter,
I’ve always had little use for critics. I think that the 90% rule is probably pretty accurate. I think I can spot valid, helpful advice when I see it – the problem is I rarely see it.
I recently had someone contact me and say, “Hey ya knuckle-head. I tried to do this and that on your site and couldn’t because you don’t have thus and such.” you know what? Damn. She was right. You know what else? She happened to be one of my “tribe”. I spent the day correcting those things and my site is better for it.
This is a rare circumstance however.
Some people get a sense of power from their mindless blatherings. They feel as if they are in control when they force their negative commentary upon others.
Cheers
George
Tumblemoose´s last blog post..10 “Must Have” books for writers
November 24th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
It’s a fine line, isn’t it? I think most of us learn to shut off criticism to the point that we sometimes ignore important feedback that could help us improve ourselves and our blogs.
November 25th, 2008 at 12:42 am
It’s always hard to please everyone. At the end of the day, I believe that it is important that we do what feels right. In terms of feedback, like you said, we pick the constructive ones. We keep an open mind and try not take criticisms personally. I find that I usually need to take some time to put my ego aside before being able to dive into the areas that I need to buck up on. With practice, it seems to get easier each time. As much as possible, I tell myself that everyone (even those that complain) are my dharma teachers in patience, awareness and keeping calm.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Law Of Attraction Quiz
November 25th, 2008 at 3:01 am
Thanks for this post. I’ve been thinking myself recently about what all the anonymous negative commentary on the internet can teach us. Along the lines of what Evelyn said, negativity flung our way tests our ability to stay aware of our critics’ humanity, and of the fact that everyone’s doing the best they can with the resources they have. In other words it shows us how much compassion we’ve really developed. — Best, Chris
Chris Edgar´s last blog post..Projections, Part II: How Our Judgments Of Others Can Teach Us About Ourselves
November 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
It is almost like spam… But you do have to listen to them all…
Jim Gaudet´s last blog post..Managing Application Servers with WSUS
December 18th, 2008 at 1:17 am
[...] Advice. We love to give it, we hate to receive it. I’m talking about everything from the very gentle “why don’t you try it this way” to the very blunt “you must die now.” It’s very easy to create unintended consequences with seemingly harmless advice, especially if you’ve been infected with the critic virus. [...]