MBTI Trial Week 3: Feeling
October 20th, 2008
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In week 3 of my Myers-Briggs trials, I’ll be focusing on feeling. Thinking and feeling refer to the way we prefer to make decisions.
- Thinkers make decisions in an objective, detached way. They determine the right thing to do through logical reasoning.
- Feelers make decisions in a subjective, attached way. They determine the right thing to do by putting themselves in other people’s shoes, seeking to maintain harmony.
A good way to think of the difference is to consider justice versus mercy. Thinkers think justice is more important, while feelers think mercy is more important.
I expect that this trial will be a lot easier now than it would have been a few years ago. I used to not have much patience with people who did things wrong. But now I’m more forgiving of people who say “nucular” and “supposably” and “I could care less.” It still bugs me, but I’m much better at biting my tongue. Since criticizing rarely produces a desirable outcome, I try to pick my battles more carefully.
Beyond just being nice, I plan to make a point of thinking about how other people feel. Not just people I’m talking to, but everyone within range. A good role model for this would be the empath Deanna Troi from Star Trek. I only saw a few episodes, but I remember thinking it would be really creepy to be around her because of the mind reading thing. I guess non-telepathic empathy is fine though.
I can also re-read the section on oneness from Steve Pavlina’s book Personal Development for Smart People. This is all about feeling a connection with everyone and everything. It came across as a foreign concept to me, so I could definitely benefit from reading it again.
We’ll see how good a job I do at being nice. Go feelers!
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It really wasn’t that I did such a great job, just that I was the only one of the seminar attendees who tried. I’ve won a fair number of contests only because there was no competition.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:15 am
I expect this one will be quite difficult, Hunter (like the others haven’t. ha!)
I guess all I can do is wish you the best of luck and say… rather you than me.
Jamie
Jamie Harrop´s last blog post..The Good Old Days of Blogging
October 21st, 2008 at 4:59 am
Good luck!
I can also agree with the no competition thing, some people assume they wont win and wont even try! Makes winning prizes easy for people like us
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October 21st, 2008 at 9:28 am
How about “the proof is in the pudding”? I picture people pawing through their pudding, looking for some proof.
One of the things that seems to be different between men and women, not all of them but a large percentage, is how they handle things when someone brings them a problem. Men tend to react as if it’s a request for problem-solving, and they offer suggestions and solutions. Women will empathize and validate the person’s experience.
This leads to misunderstandings sometimes where there don’t need to be any. I’ve often felt unheard, for example, when I discuss a problem with a man, and he’s just full of answers. I’m not usually looking for answers, I can generally solve my own problems, I’m just looking for some empathy. On the other hand, if a man has a problem and you offer him empathy, he’ll often be quite confused that your response is so emotional and not practical.
I hope you enjoy empathizing. The women in your life will probably love it.
Dot´s last blog post..Weird Tip Tuesday – Smelly Feet
October 21st, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Hi Hunter – this will be interesting. I think I’m a feeler most of the time. Even when folk try to harm me, I try to put myself in their shoes and work out why they’ve behaved like that. It annoys some folk around me though, so I guess they must be thinkers.
Cath Lawson´s last blog post..YOU Have Never Been More Powerful
October 21st, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I am a feeler who thinks I am logical….LOL!!! But seriously, I’m looking forward to read the results of your “feeling” trials. From your post, I gather you are a thinker? If so, please be nice to me!! Have mercy!!!
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Can You Read My Mind?
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:02 am
@ Jamie, I didn’t think last week would be hard at all, but it was. So this week might be really bad!
@ PCLicious, I just found out today that I won something else!
@ Dot, thinking and feeling are the only MBTI preferences that are correlated with gender. 65% of men are Ts and 65% of women are Fs. Thinking/feeling doesn’t correspond perfectly to solutions/empathy, but it’s pretty close.
@ Cath, I sometimes do that too, but it’s more because I want to analyze them than because I want to empathize. People are interesting sometimes, and that draws my attention even if I don’t like them!
@ Evelyn, feelers can absolutely be logical. They just have a preference for heart over head, but this says nothing about their abilities. I don’t consider you illogical at all! Yes, I’m a thinker, but that doesn’t imply that I’ll be mean to you!