MBTI Trial Week 3: Feeling (Recap)
October 26th, 2008
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I’ve just finished week 3 of my Myers-Briggs trials. This week focused on feeling.
I didn’t think this trial would be especially difficult, but it turned out to be the hardest one by far of the three I’ve done.
While I’m definitely a thinker overall, I answer some of the MBTI questions as a feeler would, so I didn’t think I was that one-sided. On the other hand, thinking is the dominant function of an INTP (also of an ISTP, ESTJ, and ENTJ), so maybe that’s why it was so hard to act differently.
I tried to practice empathy by looking at people and imagining how they felt. At one point I was even talking to some trees, saying that they probably don’t like having lights wrapped around them during the day when they’re not being used. I even apologized for not knowing their names and having to call each one of them “Mr. Tree.” This all felt a bit silly to me.
I had meant to re-read the oneness chapter from Personal Development for Smart People, but I didn’t get around to it. I had also meant to spend some time around art and focus on how it made me feel (a suggestion from RL David), but the art gallery near me must be under renovation or something, because there’s currently no art in it.
I guess it didn’t help that I’m working on a particular section of my next ebook that demands all the logic I can muster. However, I didn’t want to let this experiment be too disruptive, so I decided not to stop working on that.
I guess my main stumbling block is that I don’t have enough patience. I tried to slow down when reading feeling-oriented blog posts so I could absorb the feeling vibes, but I kept wanting to finish them quickly and move on to something else. I tried to listen to a feeling-oriented audio, but I kept having to switch over to Firefox and do something else because I couldn’t concentrate on the audio. I also got into an argument with someone because I wasn’t patient enough.
I think I might be able to work on this by practicing meditation. I’ve tried it a few times, and only once have I been able to make it through the full 20 minutes that I had planned. I keep thinking about things I have to do, and it becomes too hard to just sit there, so I sometimes can’t even make it 5 minutes before giving up. I figure that in addition to the usual benefits of meditation, I could also use it as a tool to measure my progress in developing enough patience to sit there for 20 minutes and feel instead of think.
Yet another week of realizing how attached I am to my personality. I think the worst must be over, but I’m looking forward to the end. That’s the good thing about your non-preferences: there are only four of them.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:00 am
LMAO Hunter – I wish I’d been a fly on the wall when you were talking to trees. I wonder if this is why you enjoyed this part of the trial least – because you were taking it to the extreme.
Meditating might help I guess.
October 27th, 2008 at 9:45 am
This was funny! I wonder how you knew all the trees were male?
I must’ve forgotten why you decided to try to be the things you’re not. For me it has worked better to understand what I’m like and accept and honor that. Also, I think empathy works better when you know what someone’s feeling, rather than having to imagine. You certainly have been creative with this challenge!
Dot´s last blog post..Non-Haiku Monday
October 27th, 2008 at 11:37 am
It sounds to me like you may be trying to do too much at once! Like physical training, it’s important to put small amount of stresses on your underdeveloped muscles many times, as opposed to a lot of stress all at once. It also helps if you’ve studied and observed what the mental functions are. Instead of “being Feeling” all at once, try observing around you and within you how Feeling exhibits (and remember that Feeling isn’t emotion – it’s values). Recognize Feeling as a “quality” (an adjective) and try to avoid labeling People as Feelers. Read one or two blog posts and study what makes them Feeling, then go back to logical ones.
And if trying to empathise with Trees seemed silly, it’s because it is! Maybe the trees liked being all dolled up (they only get to it once a year after all!). It doesn’t help to imagine empathy where there isn’t any!
October 27th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Oh Wow! I am having a little contest with myself that I will write a comment on a blog everyday before Vered does…and I did make it on your post today! One point for me.
This is really quite a trial you are putting yourself through and it must be rather difficult when the driven part of you wishes to keep going and work on something else.
I have almost no patience but I can meditate for about 45 minutes at a time because I work with meditation within the boundaries of my strengths and not my weaknesses – I sit in a comfortable chair, get my breathing into a good rhythm and then write my mantra phrases over and over again….jointing those random ideas that pop up in the margins – then going back to the phrase. It works for me
I am learning a lot by reading your insights and about your intentions and outcomes of this trial. Thank you.
Patricia´s last blog post..Factoid Friday: ANTS or Automatic Negative Thinking
October 27th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
I laughed while picturing you talking to trees. But seriously speaking, good for you!! The experiment sounded fun and I was glad that you tried it.
With regards to meditation, I would like to encourage you to keep at it. I was speaking to my friend, an advanced meditator, yesterday. She is now able to get all kinds of amazing results from her meditation. However, when she first started in her quiet sittings, she said that she was no different from others who are struggling with keeping the mind still. Bottomline: continue to practice everyday!!
With meditation, I’ll just watch my breath, and not think or feel or anything. Simply observing. If my mind goes somewhere else, I”ll bring it back and continue to focus on the breath.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Can You Read My Mind?
October 27th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Hi Hunter – Like the other commenters said, a vision of you talking to trees is priceless. Now keep in mind, I have heard that talking to plants make them grow better. Is it true, who knows, but many green thumbs swear by it.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..A.S.K. Darren Rowse of Problogger – When Do We Know Our Blog Is A “Winner”
October 28th, 2008 at 12:16 am
@ Cath, I guess I’m not sure exactly how to be a feeler, and how far you’re supposed to take it before it becomes extreme. Is it not normal for a feeler to talk to trees?
@ Dot, I guess I don’t know if they were boy trees or girl trees, so hopefully no one was offended. The purpose of this whole thing is really just to try it and see what it’s like. It’s becoming clear that I don’t want to change.
@ Michael, absolutely. If my goal was to change, it would be a good idea to start slowly, and actually to gather a lot of information before even starting. But since this is just an experiment, I don’t mind trying to do a lot at once. Now if I tried to be an ESFJ all at once, that would be too much!
@ Patricia, uh-oh, I don’t want to be in the middle of any evil competition between my readers! Does Vered even know about this contest?
Regarding the meditation, do you mean you’re actually writing your mantra phrases on paper (not just in your mind)? I didn’t know you could meditate with your eyes open.
@ Evelyn, that’s encouraging to hear that an advanced meditator struggled in the begging. I’ll try it again as soon as I finish this comment.
@ Barbara, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_season_2#Talking_to_Plants.
October 28th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
It is just a contest for me! I don’t think Vered knows about it…I am attempting to sharpen my mind after this bout of pneumonia
Yes, you can meditate with your eyes open and writing and sitting in a chair….I learned that from my Uncle – he just called it contemplation, and from Louise Hay’s work. Then Ekhart Tolle was being interviewed by Oprah for their class on his book and she shared that the author had relieved her of having to sit on the floor, deep breathe and attempt to meditate, when she could not slow her mind or silence her body aches and pains. He freed her up from the requirements of ritual to help her find a way that she could silence her mind and find the bliss. She can now do it very quickly and find her moment of nirvana in a chair.
I like the feeling and relief of finding the moments of enlightenment – I think one has to find their own bests route – and it lowers my blood pressure too. We don’t have to get stuck in the formal pathways.
I am a full fledged “feeling” person and yes! I do relate to plants and trees but I would not call it talking….I can feel energy moving within them – it can be comforting or overwhelming…just as I pick up energy/feelings from people and can hardly stand to be in crowds.
I am finding reading blogs and writing assists me in using my emotions to my advantage and not to be overwhelmed by them all the time. Food also dulls my emotions but that has not been a good resource for me.
Patricia´s last blog post..Halloween: A Celebration of Spooky
October 28th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Hi Hunter – What a fascinating link. Who knew that death metal music would make plants grow the best. Maybe you’ll have to go back to “your trees” and play them some music too.
Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..NBOTW – Bringing Me To Tears
October 28th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
@ Patricia, that’s interesting, I didn’t know you could meditate like that. It makes me wonder if I’ve done meditation before without realizing it.
@ Barbara, I know, isn’t that weird? Plants like death metal better than classical. I guess I can go back to my trees and insult them, as negative speech was as effective as positive speech!