MBTI Trial Week 1: Extraversion (Recap)
October 13th, 2008
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I’ve just finished week 1 of my Myers-Briggs trials. This week focused on extraversion.
The timing of this experiment helped me tremendously. Since I’m on a mini-retirement, I have a lot more free time. That made it much easier to spend more time with other people, because I still had plenty of time to myself. If I was still working, it would have been ten times harder.
Even so, it’s a good thing I decided to judge myself by effort instead of results. Despite my efforts to talk more than any reasonable person should, I still had someone ask me, “Why are you so quiet?” Oh well, I tried. My main difficulty is that I find it so hard to talk when I have nothing to say. I just can’t get random words to come out of my mouth.
While I confirmed that I like introversion a whole lot better (as I expected), there’s one particular aspect of extraversion that I think is worthy of consideration by introverts. Introverts tend to be slow to speak, and then later be mad at themselves for not saying anything. Extraverts tend to be quick to speak, and then later be mad at themselves for saying something they shouldn’t have. Of course, both extremes are bad, but maybe it’s worth trying to err a bit on the other side for a change.
I found it funny that some people didn’t want to let me be an extravert. One night I was having dinner in a bar, and the bartender wouldn’t stay and talk to me, even though he wasn’t busy. I was thinking, “Come back here! I need to make small talk to get extraversion credit!” But I didn’t force it.
Some people say that eating in front of other people makes them nervous. I don’t feel that myself, but I do prefer not to talk much when eating, because it’s just too much going on. Besides, you’re not supposed to talk with your mouth full, right?
I also don’t like loud places. I just don’t get how people can be energized from being around noise. I managed to avoid the peak times at the bars, but one place was still pretty loud. It didn’t kill me, but it’s sure not my preference. I don’t like smoky places either, but fortunately I didn’t find any.
Twitter is a great socialization tool for introverts. Even though it’s online, I think tweeting can be considered extraverted because it’s all about shallow conversations with lots of people. The reason it’s great for introverts is because you only have to follow who you want to follow, you only have to reply when you want to, and you can turn it off whenever you want. In the last week, I spent much more time on Twitter, and tweeted a lot more by relaxing my standards of what was tweet-worthy. I didn’t find this hard at all, but it came with a huge downside of taking up lots of time because of the constant interruptions.
I spent a lot of time on the phone, which was kind of hard to do. I like face-to-face conversations a lot more than phone conversations. I’m not sure why, but they feel completely different. Spending time with someone means something, but a phone call always seems like an interruption to me. Sometimes it’s a necessary interruption, but then I feel like I have to say what I have to say, and then get back to what I was doing. Even when I like the call, I always think that seeing them in person would be a much better use of my time.
One extraverted ritual that I decided not to partake in is the phone face-off. I was talking to someone when another call came through, and I pushed the “ignore” button. I told the person I was talking to that for some reason, my new cell phone keeps beeping even after you push “ignore.” When they heard I had another call, they said it was fine if I wanted to take it. But it never occured to me for a second to do a phone face-off. I think you should just talk to who you’re talking to, and let the other person leave a message. There could be exceptions, but I didn’t even know who the other person was.
Well, extraversion isn’t for me, but your results may differ. I’m glad I did this experiment, but I’m looking forward to returning to normal.
October 13th, 2008 at 1:57 am
Hi Hunter. I really appreciate you sharing this experience; it’s quite interesting, as long as you don’t mind being a guinea pig. When I read, “Introverts tend to be slow to speak, and then later be mad at themselves for not saying anything,” boy did I nod my head. I think it’s really cool that you are doing this experiment. I’ve never liked the phone face-off either. I’d only use it if I were expecting an important call.
Davina´s last blog post..Thanks, It Means The World To Me
October 13th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I don’t like loud places either. Do you think that has to do w/ being an introvert? Thanks for recapping your experiences!!
Stacey / Create a Balance´s last blog post..How To Embrace a Money Recess
October 13th, 2008 at 11:36 am
If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were the same person. I have to challenge using Twitter as extroversion practice, though. Anything you can do without vocalizing, inside your own home, doesn’t count . Hell, even I can manage to tweet once or twice a day, and that’s while still reveling in my introversion. I’m relieved you didn’t have some crazy epiphany about how great it is to be extroverted or I would have probably tried your experiment for myself. Thank God that isn’t going to happen.
Annie Binns´s last blog post..A Flattering of the Passions
October 13th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Hi Hunter – it’s interesting to see how it went. I know what you mean about the phone – it’s a real pain isn’t it? And I feel the same way you do sometimes when I’m on Twitter. I’d rather wait and respond to someone who is saying something interesting.
Then again, I do like noisy places sometimes just not all the time. And I think I felt much like that when I had PTSD – I prefer to be introverted but I also like to get out and about sometimes. Maybe introverted people just want a break from being introverts every now and then? I don’t know.
October 13th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
What is my personality type according to the Myers-Briggs? I have no problems with loud places; I enjoy going to these places every once in a while. At heart, I know that I am an introvert but with your descriptions, it seems that I have a lot of extravert qualities as well.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Can The Artist See The Big Picture?
October 13th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Hi Hunter: I don’t like loud, smoky places either. But I’ve gotten quite good at small talk. And I don’t like phones, but I think it’s more about the sudden interruption then the fact that it’s not face to face. When I was younger I had a tendency not to talk to people unless I had something “important” to say, but now I can walk up to anyone and basically strike up a conversation about the first thing that pops into my mind at the moment. I think it’s a skill like any other, the more you practice the easier it gets. I like these experiments
Marelisa´s last blog post..14 Tips to Stay Young
October 13th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Hi Hunter – I give you a lot of credit for doing this experiment. Forcing ourselves to be something we’re not is difficult enough, but it does make me wonder how those who are labeled as “phonies” can continue on with the “act” for such long periods of time. Seems like it would be exhausting.
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October 13th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Like you, I can’t stand small-talk. It’s such a waste and takes too much energy sometimes to keep it going. I’ve noticed that if a conversation isn’t meaningful, then I’m not interested. When I took the Meyers-Briggs I came out as an extrovert. However, over the years I’ve become much more introverted. I’ve done Meyers-Briggs with co-workers. Often the introverts get put down. I say be true to yourself and proud no matter what your profile may be.
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October 14th, 2008 at 1:09 am
@ Davina, I feel a bit like a guinea pig, but since I’m the one in control of the experiment, I think it’s OK! It would be very different if someone else was making me jump through their hoops.
@ Stacey, yes. Everyone has their favorite world, either the internal world or the external world. If the external world is too loud, it drowns out the internal world. That’s why those who prefer their internal world (introverts) don’t like it to be too loud. There’s another explanation involving the ascending reticular activating system, but this one is much simpler.
@ Annie, I guess it’s about time I told you this…I’m your twin brother. Well, I guess it’s possible. I agree that Twitter isn’t nearly as extraverted an activity as some other things, but don’t you think it’s a lot more extraverted than reading a book? When I think about the things I don’t like about Twitter, they’re the same things I don’t like about parties.
For what it’s worth, Breanne Potter did a Twitter survey and found that 65% of the twits were introverts, while making up 50% of the population. It was an unscientific survey of course, but for what it’s worth…
@ Cath, it’s certainly possible that an introvert could want to visit a loud place just for a change. It’s also possible that an introvert could always prefer loud places because they’re out of preference on the corresponding facet, even though they prefer introversion overall. After all, some introverts pursue careers in the public eye.
@ Evelyn, most people are somewhere between the extremes, so that’s entirely possible. But don’t ask me what your type is–read my ebook that’s sitting there on your computer!
@ Marelisa, sometimes I can strike up conversations quite easily without having anything to say, but sometimes they take a turn that the other person doesn’t like. I was recently talking to someone who’s getting married on March 14. I said I liked how she chose “Pi Day” (3.14) but she didn’t like that!
@ Barbara, this would definitely be exhausting for many people to do for any serious length of time. Like I said, I could only handle it because of all my free time, and I still didn’t do very well, other than in terms of effort. Of course, some people are good actors, and can get into character and stay there.
@ B. Wilde, I agree that no one should feel bad about their type. Logically speaking, it doesn’t make sense to resent your type, because it only reflects your preferences, not your abilities. While the ability to conduct small talk is nice, I don’t think there’s any shame in saying you don’t like it.
October 15th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Wow Hunter this is an interesting experiment. I must be mostly an introvert though my family thinks I talk way too much at least to them – I have slowed down now that I have writing time everyday.
I had an interesting experience in Hawaii. I got ill and covered in bedbug,mosquito, and fly bites at my first gig…then when I came to the resort spa gig, I decided to try a mud wrap and massage to ease the pain of my body…after 2.5 hours of treatment my body was so relaxed and my mouth was in outpouring gear…I wanted to tell everyone my life story and just unload every thing….I was “chatty cathy” to all the people on the elevator and in the courtyard and at the dinner meeting…oh my
I wonder if that happens to others? But it took no trying to just keep talking and talking and talking…and I hate crowds…( I also had to visit the privy about 20 times too)
good luck as you continue on in your experiment…
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October 16th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
@ Patricia, I think that’s probably unusual. Some introverts talk a lot, but they typically don’t talk about themselves. So for you to tell everyone your life story, maybe there were some extravert drugs in the mud wrap! Whatever the case, your personality type is perfectly valid, no better or worse than any other type.