In my post Don’t Label Me!, I talked about whether or not labeling is a good thing. I said that despite their bad reputation, labels are really necessary for communication, and when used in a thoughtful way, they make it much easier to express thoughts. However, when used carelessly, labels can be unhelpful, misleading, or damaging.
Barbara Swafford at Blogging Without A Blog left a comment, saying in part,
“Labels can be destructive, especially when applied to children. Call a child ’shy’ and they begin to believe that. Call a child a ‘loser, good for nothing…’, and they often grow up without direction. But, call a child a ’star’ or ‘outstanding’ or any other positive affirmation, and they often excel.”
I agree. It’s bad enough to use a negative label on an adult, even if they know it’s not true. It’s much worse to use it on a child, who will believe everything they’re told. But tell children how special they are, and there’s no telling how much good it will do.
And this is a perfect segue into a video I came across a few months ago, of someone who understood this perhaps better than anyone…Fred Rogers.
In 1969, the U.S. Senate held hearings about funding for the newly-formed Corporation for Public Broadcasting. A $20 million grant proposed by former president Lyndon Johnson was in jeopardy. President Richard Nixon wanted that amount cut in half. And Mister Rogers had to convince the tough-as-nails Senator John Pastore to give them the money they needed.
What a gift to be able to talk like that and sound so sincere! He turns Senator Pastore from a block of ice to goosebumps in just a few minutes, just by believing that children need to be told they’re special and appreciated and understood. Maybe we should be investing a little more in this kind of stuff.
“I give an expression of care every day to each child, to help him realize that he is unique. I end the program by saying ‘You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.’”
- Fred Rogers
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In other news, Writer Dad is the winner of my first contest, and he will receive a free copy of Bill Strickland’s Make the Impossible Possible. Congratulations, Writer Dad! I’ll be in touch.
He IS amazing.
In my kids’ preschool, they used to sit in a circle and sing this little song “I am special”. They would sing for each child. So it went like this: “Amy is special… Amanda is special… Connor is special” etc. To us the grownups it seemed a little silly. But the kids… their face would light up when it was their turn.
Kids need to be told they are special every day.
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Hi Hunter,
I feel honored that my comment lead to this post. The video is so powerful, I think anyone who cares about children should watch it. It’s awesome.
Thank you for the link love.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Blog Visitors – Like Kids In A Candy Store
I have always loved Mr. Rogers, but I’ve never seen him away from the show. What a rare, wonderful person. What a gift.
He was a gift. I liked him as a boy, but I appreciated him much more once I was a man.
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Hi Hunter – That’s powerful stuff. I know so many people who didn’t achieve their goals because their confidence was battered as a child. It’s sad that all that’s missing in many people’s lives is a few kind words, that wouldn’t have cost a thing for someone to give them.
[...] can’t thank Hunter Nuttall enough for bringing this to the attention of the [...]
Funny you mention this…as I have been studying labels. Rather than how I label others or they label me, I have been looking at my labels of myself and how much I see myself by the roles I play, the history I have lived and the expectations others have of me.
As for Fred, I remember him as a child; the tone, the sincerity – what a gift each one of us can bring to the world if we choose to.
Hunter, you have such a unique blog, thanks for your consistent info and insights.
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@ Vered, that’s adorable!
@ Barbara, you’re very welcome. It is a powerful video, isn’t it?
@ Hayden, I had never seen him outside the show either. You can clearly see that he was the real deal, and not just putting on some front for the show.
@ Writer Dad, I think that’s probably the case with a lot of his fans. It’s easy to like him as a kid, but you can’t really appreciate him fully until you’re older.
@ Cath, it really doesn’t take much effort to be nice to people, does it? To do what Mr. Rogers did, yeah, that’s hard. But we can all dish out kind words now and then.
@ Harmony, I can remember him from way back when, even better than I remember Sesame Street (which was also great). Thanks for your compliments!
I love it! I’m glad I found my way here again today. Thanks for the great post!
Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..Money Talks: How Do You Talk Back?
@ Nathalie, I’m glad you found your way here again too!