This is my final post. Well, not really, but I’m writing it as if it were.

Some of you may have heard of a former teacher of mine named Randy Pausch, who appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and the CBS Evening News.

Randy (as he always liked to be called) was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in September 2006, and was told on August 15, 2007 that he had 3-6 months of good health left. Not that you’d ever know it from seeing how much he’s enjoying his life 7 months later. His attitude and energy are truly amazing.

He became famous through Carnegie Mellon University’s “last lecture” series, where professors gave the lecture they’d give if, hypothetically, they knew they were going to die. Randy’s last lecture on September 18, 2007 was titled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” It drew a standing ovation from over 400 people, and the video has been watched over 6 million times.

His lecture is 76 minutes long, but it’s worth setting aside some time to watch it. There is also a closed captioned version available. Those of us who were lucky enough to be his students got this kind of stuff every week.I decided to create my own version of the “last lecture” by writing my “final post” (Randy said not to use the word “last” because it could be interpreted as either “final” or “previous”). Obviously this won’t be as grand as what Randy did, but here are the best 9 lessons I can offer to people in the pursuit of awesomeness.

1. You can overcome weaknesses.

In high school, I always had a hard time with the books I had to read for English class. I would read the book and the Cliffs Notes, spend way more time studying than anyone else, and still get a D on the test. It made me feel like a complete retard. One teacher drew a frowny face on my test when I missed three questions in a row. Another teacher wrote “surely you jest” on my essay.

Fortunately there were enough other assignments in English class to prop up my grades, but what about the verbal section of the SAT? There was no way of faking my way through it. My top choice for college, the University of Virginia, was the number one public school in the country at the time. From what I heard, you needed a 600 verbal to have a good chance of getting in. When I first took the PSAT, I only got 450.

This wasn’t fair. Why should I not get into the school I wanted to go to just because I didn’t know what “exigency” and “sybarite” meant, or because some reading passages were so boring I forgot the beginning by the time I got to the end? But what could I do? I studied.

Although it wasn’t fun to practice something I hated, I found that I did get a lot better by memorizing endless vocabulary words and taking many practice tests. Starting with a 450 on my first attempt at the PSAT, I got 470 on my second attempt. Then 540 on my first practice SAT. Then 610 on the real SAT. Then 710 on the GRE. I finished high school with a 4.02 GPA, and I didn’t just get into the University of Virginia; I got in early decision as an Echols Scholar (roughly the top 5% of the incoming class). Not bad for someone who could barely read.

Related reading: Want To Dodge Bullets? Maybe You Don’t Have To!

2. Still, it’s usually better to focus on your strengths.

If you’re naturally bad at something, it might take a tremendous amount of effort to become mediocre. But if you’re naturally good at something, it’s relatively easy to become great. It might take a sustained effort over a period of years, but your odds of success are fairly high if you’re truly committed. It’s much easier to stay motivated when you’re good, you know you’re getting even better, and you enjoy what you’re doing.

Life is hard enough already, so play to your strengths. Do you think Tiger Woods should run for president and Hillary Clinton should take up professional golf? They’ll probably get better results the other way around.

Some weaknesses need to be overcome. Let’s say you show talent for being a corporate executive, but you’re not computer literate. You should develop some basic proficiency, so you know how to use email and how to Google something. But you shouldn’t try to become a power user. In the time it takes you to learn as much as today’s 14 year olds know, you could have devised strategies that would save your company millions of dollars.

Your effectiveness depends on your ability to patch up any critical weaknesses, while capitalizing on your strengths.

Related reading: The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.

3. Laughter is the best medicine, but don’t wait until you’re sick.

“There is no greater pleasure than to laugh, no higher purpose than to bring the joy of laughter to others.”

- made up quote, let’s say, England, 1854

As Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” There are funny things happening all around us, all the time. To let them pass unnoticed is a tragic waste. I can’t stand to be around people who never laugh. Laughing makes life way more fun for you, for everyone you come in contact with, and it’s good for your health. What could possibly be more important?

Naomi Dunford made my day when she linked to me in I Have Never Laughed This Hard In My Life. Ever. Do I think she meant that literally? Of course not. But if it brought her enough enjoyment to think it was worth writing about, then I’m happy.

When people talk about how watching TV is a huge waste of time, I can only think that they’re watching the wrong shows, or they don’t know how to appreciate them. The following clip from Scrubs probably made me laugh enough to scare cancer away for a good long while. This is when J.D. (a guy) is adjusting after moving in with Elliot (a girl).

Scrubs Toto / body butter scene (I didn’t embed the video because the still image ruins the punchline.)

4. Life’s supposed to be way too hard.

I don’t know what particular challenges you’re going through, but surely there are a lot of them. Maybe you’re going through a divorce. Maybe you have health problems. Maybe you’re fighting an addiction. Maybe you hate your job. Maybe you’re overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated. Many people feel like their life is going nowhere, and absolutely everything seems to be going wrong. Life sucks, I get it.

But a lot of the dissatisfaction that people feel comes from comparing their life to some rosy picture in their head. I think the real danger with school is that it teaches people that life is going to be easy. If you get good grades, then you’ll get into a good college, get a good job, earn a good salary, have a big house, wonderful spouse, and 2.5 beautiful kids, and everything will be just peachy, right?

This is what people expect, and they’re surprised when it doesn’t automatically happen. They put in some effort and it still doesn’t happen. They put in even more effort and it still doesn’t happen, and now they think the whole world is against them. But no, that’s just how it’s supposed to be. Life’s not fair, and no one has it easy.

Ringo Starr has often been called the luckiest person in the world for falling backwards into The Beatles. But did you know that he was hospitalized many times as a child, even going into a coma once? Or that his health problems caused him to develop food allergies and have to drop out of school at 13? Or that he’s a recovered alcoholic? Life is a struggle for all successful people.

Related reading: Developing Mental Toughness by me and It CAN Be Done: Let Nobody Else Tell You Otherwise by Brian Kim.

5. Be insanely useful.

I don’t remember where I first heard this phrase, but it’s golden. You’d have to be insane to be useful, right? Why not do the bare minimum like everyone else? It’s easier to be dead weight, isn’t it?

In reality, you don’t have to go the extra mile to stand out. Just going the first mile is unusual. Actually, just leaving the starting gate is above average.

My favorite example of this is “you were supposed to call me” syndrome. In January, I called a potential customer who apparently forgot that he asked me to call him in January. He got angry and said “you were supposed to call me in December so I could take advantage of your holiday offer!” Aside from the fact that his email clearly said to call him in January, I can’t understand why someone in need would just sit there paralyzed instead of picking up the phone. God forbid they do something more strenuous than stuffing their fat ass with Cheetos.

But beyond just doing what can be reasonably expected of anyone, why not go that extra mile? I’m not saying to let other people walk over you, but in many cases the extra mile doesn’t take much effort. If your boss asks you for the status of the ABC report, instead of just saying “I don’t know, that’s not my thing,” spend two minutes finding out what the deal is, and let them know. It’s worth spending two minutes to come off looking like part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

When the receptionist at my workplace orders lunch for everyone, she sends out an email asking people to come by and sign up for what they want. But they never do. They wait until the “last call” a couple of days later, or wait until it’s too late and then complain that they didn’t get what they want. When those emails come out, I’m always the first to sign up, because it’s easier for everyone to just do it and be done. And the receptionist is extra nice to me because of it. Just for signing up for lunch!

Related reading: Let’s Start Building Some Hurtin’ Bombs!

6. People change, but that’s OK.

Here’s me with my buddy Tom Cruise last week. He’s definitely changed over the years, and I liked him much better in the Top Gun days than in the “getting fired from Paramount / jumping on Oprah’s couch / Scientology” days. I realized that people come in and out of our lives all the time, and even if someone sticks around, your relationship will eventually change.

Think of the people you spend most of your time with. For most of you, this will be immediate family and coworkers. Out of all your coworkers, how many of them did you know five years ago? How many of them will you still be in touch with five years from today? Those relationships have a purpose for now, but they’re not meant to last.

Even among your close friends and family members, your relationships will change. This is especially true if you don’t have regular contact with them. Childhood friends of yours who you now see only a couple of times a year seem different now, don’t they? That’s because they are different. Or maybe you don’t realize that you’re the one who’s different now.

Everyone you know has a purpose in your life, but in most cases you’ll eventually outgrow that purpose and need to move on. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Related reading: A Letter to My Parents by Monika Mundell. (This is an extreme case, but it shows you what can sometimes be necessary.)

7. You are a god among gods.

This idea comes from The Science Of Being Great by Wallace D. Wattles, who wrote:

“You are a god, but you are among gods…Think of yourself as a perfect being among perfect beings, and meet every person as an equal, not as either superior or an inferior.”

Don’t become a victim of self-sabotage. It’s useless to tell yourself that you can’t do something, because you’ll only try to prove yourself right. You are a god, and you are capable of much more than you think.

But you are also among gods. Don’t be condescending or disrespectful to others, no matter who they are. You’re not better than anyone else, because they’re gods too.

Related reading: The Science of Being Great by Wallace D. Wattles.

8. Rocky is the best movie ever.

Easily my favorite movie, it’s impossible not to be inspired by this story of a hopeless underdog taking his one shot at glory. There’s never a dull moment as Rocky strives to redeem his wasted life, free Adrian from her social prison, save Paulie from the burden of taking care of her, and give Mickey something to live for again.

When a stroke of fate gives Rocky a chance at the world heavyweight championship, he has no delusions about his likelihood of winning. All he wants is to go the distance, to hear that bell ring and still be standing, and know for the first time in his life that he’s not just another bum from the neighborhood. And after he does, he doesn’t want to be interviewed, he doesn’t want to know who won, he just wants Adrian.

Sylvester Stallone wrote the script after watching the second-rate boxer Chuck Wepner nearly go the distance against Muhammad Ali. Despite having an incredibly hard time finding someone willing to produce it with him in the lead role, he persisted. Complications forced last-minute changes to the script, and early critics panned the movie for bad acting, bad directing, and being overly sentimental. Still he persisted, being the only one who believed in what he had.

The producers panicked when it went over budget at $1.1 million, thinking they would never get their money back. But Rocky shattered all expectations to pull in $117 million and receive 10 Oscar nominations with 3 wins, including Best Picture. More than 30 years later, there’s still a steady flow of tourists running up the stairs to the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

9. Don’t die with your music still in you.

The one thing I can promise you is that you will die. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but the day is closer than you think. Don’t waste a second waiting for your real life to begin. The time is now.

I’m a software developer, but I don’t really want to be. I want to be a blogger. I don’t care how impractical it is. I don’t care if someone calls me a Steve Pavlina wannabe. I don’t care if someone thinks I should be happy just to have a job. Time stands still when I’m blogging, and I couldn’t stop if I tried. I have to do it.

That doesn’t mean it will be easy. I know the odds of being able to make a living through AdSense clicks. But that’s a minor detail. First of all, the odds don’t matter because most blogs suck. Second, my blog itself doesn’t have to be everything, just the core. If I use my blog to sell ebooks or consulting services or whatever, and have a part time job on the side, then I don’t need to make much money from my blog. Third, it doesn’t matter if I fail. I’d rather fail and have the dignity of having tried, than give up and be a total loser and have it be my fault. I won’t die with my music still in me, and you shouldn’t either.

Related reading: Don’t Die With Your Music Still In You by Steve Pavlina.

My not-so-final post

Like I said, this is not really my final post. And I’m thankful for that, because I have a lot more to do. I still haven’t even written the posts that gave me the idea for this blog in the first place. And I have plans for my next five ebooks (one of which will probably be free). I’m just getting started.

I told Randy Pausch a few months ago that I was going to start this blog, and he wished me the best of luck. I hope I don’t disappoint him.

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P.S. Thanks to Skellie for the Trump Card Post Idea!

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