A Complaint Free World
March 31st, 2008
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Six months ago, I heard about A Complaint Free World, a movement started by Rev. Will Bowen of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Missouri. It turns out that most people complain 15-30 times a day, which fills us with a lot of negative energy for no reason. Bowen’s church is taking on the problem by distributing purple complaint free bracelets like the one above.
Some scientists believe that it takes a minimum of 21 days to form a habit, so the idea is to go for 21 days without complaining. You put the bracelet on and start counting the days. Whenever you complain, gossip, or criticize, you move the bracelet to the other wrist, and start again at day 0. It usually takes people 4-10 months to go for 21 days without complaining, but then they find their lives more enjoyable.
The Complaint Free FAQ defines complaining as “expressing pain, grief, or discontent,” and says that thinking a complaint doesn’t count if you don’t say it. But another page says that complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a deficiency or a mistake so that it can be put right, and not complaining doesn’t mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. You can see how the rules are a bit vague.
I first heard about this from Tim Ferriss, who took 3 months to make it to 21 days in a row without complaining. Since he believes in constructive criticism, his definition of complaining is “describing an event or person negatively without indicating next steps to fix the problem.”
The bracelets used to be free, and they just asked for donations from those who were able to pay. But they ran into many problems: postage costs nearly doubling, duplicate requests (because they were so backed up and people were impatient), very large requests without donations (thousands of people requested 10,000, 25,000, and even 250,000 bracelets without a donation), and fraudulent requests that wasted postage (one person wrote that he wanted to “see if you are stupid enough to send them”). When that happened, they discarded all open requests and asked people to request them again, with a limit of 3 bracelets per request (though larger quantities could be purchased). Now you can order 2 free bracelets (with $0.75 shipping), or you can buy 5 for $5.
I ordered 3 for my family in September, and then re-ordered them when asked to, but they haven’t arrived yet (not that I’m complaining). However, when I first found Clay Collins at The Growing Life, I noticed he was wearing a purple bracelet in his picture. I asked him about it, and he was generous enough to send me one of his extra bracelets! (Now don’t go flooding him with requests, because he probably doesn’t have any more.)
I started wearing the bracelet a week ago, and the results have been…well, I can’t finish that without complaining. I’ve had to switch the bracelet several times per day. Only once have I gone for 24 hours without complaining, and that was on the weekend. I’m very surprised by this, because I don’t think of myself as a complainer. But I see that I make a lot of mini-complaints, like telling my computer to hurry up when it freezes just trying to open Notepad.
I’m still early in the trial though, and I’m bound to get better. Even Rev. Bowen himself took three and a half months to finish 21 days. I’ll post an update when I finish, but don’t expect that anytime soon.
You can order your bracelets from A Complaint Free World right now, and simply use a rubber band until they arrive. A rubber band may not be glamorous, but it’s not like the bracelets emit some kind of anti-complaint radiation. And if you notice someone else complaining, you can tell them to switch their bracelet, but the rules specifically say that means you have to switch yours. Let me know if you’re able to complete this challenge for a complaint free world.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:13 am
This post SUCKS!
(good job, hunter
I’ve found that I need stronger medicine and have resorted to carrying out $1 bills. I hand them out to whoever I’m talking to after making a negative comment. Friends now jokingly try to con me into making negative comments. Good times.
–Clay
Clay Collins | The Growing Life’s last blog post..Stephen Smith: Project Planning in Context: E-Book Review
March 31st, 2008 at 3:08 am
Hi Hunter,
That’s an interesting concept I haven’t heard about.
I try not to complain much as it goes against my attempt to stay positive and to find what lessons I need to learn from different situations.
However, I would be switching my bracelet pretty often if I were to put a call into my not so favorite governmental office (no names mentioned), and I am subjected to their incompetence…knowing my tax dollars are paying their wages. Yikes!
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Celebrating One Year Of Blogging
March 31st, 2008 at 9:46 pm
@ Clay, giving out $1 bills is some seriously strong medicine! One concern I had with starting this is that I felt like I’d be extremely vulnerable. People could do whatever they wanted to me and I’d just have to be happy about it. Now that hasn’t happened, but I think giving out $1 bills is like wearing a sign saying “I’ll pay you to annoy me! Give it a try!” But maybe your friends are nicer than that.
@ Barbara, would your favorite governmental office happen to start with an I and end with an S, possibly with an R in between? I knew up front that I’d have to switch my bracelet when I post about them!
April 1st, 2008 at 12:37 am
Hi Hunter,
The governmental office I’m speaking of is small scale…think local.
Although I have had dealing with the IRS, they were actually quite helpful.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..NBOTW Took A Huge Leap Of Faith
April 1st, 2008 at 1:01 pm
“it’s not like the bracelets emit some kind of anti-complaint radiation”… I love it! I’ve thought about doing this for a while now but chickened out repeatedly. Maybe I’ll do it now, with an elastic. That way I won’t be able to complain about how I can’t start until the bracelet arrives.
Naomi Dunford’s last blog post..12 Stupid Search Terms and 1 Very Important Lesson
April 1st, 2008 at 8:38 pm
@ Barbara, that’s interesting that the IRS was very helpful. Come to think of it, I remember someone else telling me the same thing. In fact, my friend got into such a good conversation with the IRS that they tried to hire her!
@ Naomi, I’m not sure what the rules are with profanity. I guess if you use it calmly and factually then it’s not complaining. Furthermore, since complaining in your thoughts doesn’t count, I don’t think complaining in writing counts either. So you could actually do pretty well with this! Join us, and we can be bracelet buddies. (Did I just say that?)
April 10th, 2008 at 1:00 am
[...] had heard about these purple complaint bracelets that Rev. Will Bowen was using to get people to go for 21 days without complaining. I had ordered [...]
April 11th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Thanks of the idea man. I added you to my RSS, I signed up to the $25.00 bank account thing and refered you. I think I am going to take that $25.00 and buy some bracelets now. Hand them out and see if others can help them selves.
Sam.
April 11th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Thanks for subscribing and signing up for Revolution Money Exchange, Sam. It will be interesting to see if they give PayPal a run for their money.
And giving out those bracelets to others is a great idea. They’ve become quite viral, so people definitely like them!
April 17th, 2008 at 1:02 am
[...] going to have to switch my bracelet to do this, but I have to complain about taxes, as I do every year. What’s up with these [...]
July 10th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
This bracelet is BRILLIANT.
Dave Navarros last blog post..Fighting Work-Life Balance Stress: Attack Of The 50-Ft. Goals
July 10th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
@ Dave, brilliant, but not easy! Only once have I managed to keep it on the same wrist for a week. Still trying…
August 31st, 2008 at 4:57 pm
[...] March 31st, I wrote a post about A Complaint Free World, a movement started by Rev. Will Bowen. People complain 15-30 times a day on average, but this [...]