In the movie “Rocky,” there’s a scene where Rocky confronts Mickey to ask why he’s always been so disappointed in him over the years. Rocky says:
“You know, I’ve been comin’ here for six years, and for six years you’ve been stickin’ it to me. I wanna know how come.”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“Yeah, I wanna know how come.”
“You wanna know?”
“I WANNA KNOW HOW!”
“OK, I’m gonna tell ya. ‘Cause you had the talent to become a good fighter. And instead of that, you became a leg breaker for some cheap, second-rate loan shark!
“It’s a livin’.”
“It’s a WASTE of life!”
This is nothing new, just a typical case of not following one’s calling. Most people are in this situation, either because they never found their calling in the first place, or they lost their way at some point. But nothing is more important than knowing for sure what you’re supposed to do with your life. If you get this one thing right, then almost everything else naturally falls into place.
When you spend the bulk of your time doing the wrong thing, you find life to be very hard because you’re living someone else’s life instead of your own. Because you don’t really want to do the things you do, you find it hard to get motivated, or even just to get up in the morning. Everything you manage to get done takes a lot of effort for mediocre results. You’re always sick, tired, and afraid that your situation could become even worse. You resent having to do what you do, and that makes you miserable even when you’re not working.
On the other hand, if you follow your calling, your life is wonderful. Getting things done is effortless because you have boundless enthusiasm and incredible talent for what you do. You have no problem getting down to work because there’s nothing you’d rather be doing. You don’t have to choose between doing what you love and making money because the world places great value on what you do. The immense joy you receive from your work spills over into other areas of your life, and onto other people. Everyone wonders what you’re on, and how they can get it.
If finding your calling is so important, then why does hardly anyone do it?
Many people think that their calling is dictated by their major. You picked the major that was best suited for your abilities, and now you’ve invested a lot of time and money in studying that field, so you have to stick with it, right?
Um, no. There are certainly some elements of your major that fit you well, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to get the obvious job that corresponds to your major. It’s not realistic to expect to decide on your calling before you graduate anyway. You might choose to put a creative twist on the common path in your field, or maybe even do something completely different. What you learned in school may or may not be directly helpful to you, but that’s not really why you went to school anyway. I’m sure Bill Gates doesn’t regret changing his mind about becoming a lawyer, and some things he learned in school no doubt helped him with Microsoft.
Some commonly given advice is “do what you love,” but that’s awfully naive. You can’t just pick something you love and assume that it will become a viable career. I don’t think there’s much market demand for people who just want to smoke pot and play Nintendo in their parent’s basement. Nor would that ultimately result in a fulfilling life, even if it seems appealing as a teenager. This is pretty obvious, which may be the reason people largely ignore this advice.
Many people fear change. You’ve gotten good at what you do, and if you switch to something else, then you’ll have to take a step backwards. Well, maybe. But continuing to take steps forward won’t help you if you’re walking off the end of a plank. If you know you’re heading in the wrong direction, it’s best to correct course now so you can move full speed ahead to where you want to go, instead of drifting heedlessly towards an iceberg. Even if you pick the path that’s right for you at the time, the world is going to change, and that will present new challenges and opportunities that make you want to change things. (Case in point, my school didn’t offer a blogging major.)
To get started on finding your calling, you’ll want to do a little introspection. Here are three resources to help you look inside yourself and figure out what you’re supposed to do with your life:
- What Color Is Your Parachute? 2008: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. There’s a reason this is the #1 best-selling career book of all time. But don’t just read it; do the exercises too.
- Steve Pavlina’s “The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose.” Your life purpose (who to be) is much broader than your calling (what to do), but this is still related, and definitely useful.
- Brian Kim’s “How to Find What You Love to Do.” Step by step advice on how to find what you love to do. Pay attention when he says to write it down!
Next time, I’ll write about an alternative way to find your calling that does not involve introspection.
Good post Hunter! Very thought provoking!
Deciding to follow my passions was a big part of beginning to blog.
I believe that where you find something you are good at, you will find your passions. If you are looking for what you really want to do in life, begin with looking at your strengths.
Great article Hunter looking forward to more!
Great post. I really enjoyed it and enjoy your blog. Keep it up!
-Andrew
@Conrad, you’ve touched on something that I’m going to cover in my next post on this topic. For now, I won’t spoil the surprise.
@Andrew, thanks for visiting!
Hunter -
Enjoyed your post on readability scores, unscientific as they may be … curious as to how you would score the readability of my blog.
Thanks!
Forgot to check the box. Please notify me of followup comments via email.
Hi, Marc. Instead of responding to your comment here, I’ll do so in the readability post at
http://hunternuttall.com/blog/2008/01/the-10-most-readable-blogs-that-i-like/
I don’t think I have the ability to manually add people to the comment subscription list, only remove them.
Hunter,
Ah…finding our passion. That’s a challenge we all face at one time or another. Steve Pavlina is a great source for that subject, isn’t he?
It’s one thing to realize what we love to do, but we also have to ask ourselves, “do I want to do this for a living?” Case in point, I love to cook, but I don’t want to be a chef. I love to decorate and paint, but don’t care to do it for the masses. I love numbers, and that’s the major part of my full time job, but I get the most joy from writing (and helping others), hence…I blog.
The question becomes, can I make a living at blogging? The jury is still out…but in the meantime, I have a job I also enjoy…so, it’s a win-win situation.
Barbara, I think you’re absolutely right about there being a difference between what we love to do and what we want to do for a living. Sometimes a hobby becomes a profession, but sometimes it’s just meant to be a hobby. In fact, sometimes doing a hobby as your profession can destroy your enjoyment of it.
Steve Pavlina said “At the very least, a high five-figure annual income is certainly an attainable goal for an individual working full-time from home.” Then again, his results have not exactly been typical. But if you have a job you enjoy, then you can have fun with blogging while you’re building up an income from it, and that’s a great situation to be in.
[...] months ago I mentioned Brian in my post Priority #1: Find Your Calling. Brian had written a post about how to find what you love to do, and I thought it was very [...]
You’re right Hunter to tell someone just do what you love to do is awfully naive. I once created a business going on the “do what you love and the money will follow” advice. That worked great for creating the business and not so great for maintaining it. It turns out that my awfully expensive lesson was this. I’m a project guy not a long-term guy. Once we know our values this process gets much easier.
Tom Volkar / Delightful Works last blog post..A New Way to Find Work that You Love
@ Tom, when I hear someone say “do what you love and the money will follow,” I wonder if they really think that’s universally true. If the person loves investment banking that’s one thing, but what if they love sleeping? I guess there’s still hope, because they could become the world’s leading expert on the physiology of sleep or something like that, but it’s not exactly a certainty. I think it’s best to consider both passion and practicality.