I recently wrote about why I hate Christmas, specifically the impulse everyone has to spend lots of money on gifts that people don’t need. I think it’s a bad habit that detracts a lot from an otherwise great holiday.

But there’s one other thing that bothers me about Christmas—the politically correct notion of making it the-holiday-that-must-not-be-named. You know, calling it “the holidays” so people who celebrate something else aren’t excluded. It’s gotten to the point where one radio commercial has Santa Claus saying “Ho ho ho, Happy Holidays!” I guess Santa is pulling out of the Christmas market to avoid putting all his eggs in one basket?

C’mon, people. Christmas is celebrated by most people in the U.S., and it’s largely a secular holiday anyway. If they can play Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song on the radio, they can certainly say “Merry Christmas.” Remember that Americans of all religions (or none at all) are forced to use money that says “In God We Trust.” Although even “Happy Holidays” was too progressive for my high school—they wouldn’t say it in the school paper because they didn’t want to offend those who don’t celebrate anything at all.

Calling it by the generic label of “the holidays” when you obviously mean Christmas is just awkward, and no one naturally talks like that. It’s like how the bad guys in Top Gun were referred to as “the enemy” and “the other side.” It was the peak of the Cold War and they were flying MiGs—why not call them the Soviets (or the South Yemeni, etc.)? In 24, any time a Middle Eastern country is involved in anything, it’s never actually named, but clumsily referred to as “my country,” “Fayed’s country,” or “these three countries.” Just pick some actual countries! Who are you going to offend that isn’t offended already?

I don’t mind people saying “Happy Hanukkah” and “Happy Kwanzaa,” if that’s what they’re really thinking. Watering down holidays in an attempt to make them universal really doesn’t serve anyone. Let’s call a spade a spade.

I just figure that not everything applies to everyone, and that’s OK. I don’t have kids, but I don’t get offended when I hear someone mention Father’s Day. Live and let live, and Merry Christmas!

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